Some people on here will know me, some won't, even though I havent had an account this year, I regularly popped on and read diaries. So many on here doing so well ?
Me unfortunately, haven't been doing well. In many aspects of my life, it kind of fell apart and took me to a place no one wants to be.
Gambling been up and down but literally spiralled out of control recently, actually putting me in debt. The pure anger I've felt with myself for putting my family through this has been overwhelming. Somethings clicked and I truly believe deep down this is it now.
I've used gambling as an escape, I never won, because when I did, I put it all back in, was just a reason to keep that 'escape' even longer. I'm having psychological help now, something I've needed for a very long time so I'm hoping it will give me skills to cope better in circumstances when I'd usually gamble.
I last gambled Monday, had a complete breakdown, told my family , partner, close friend everything. Reached out to gamcare and the advisor gave me hope. Hope that even after all this time, things can change.
Yesterday I installed gamban, something in my over 5 years of gambling I've never done. And it just felt like a huge achievement for me. I'm so happy I've now got it. I'm still with gamstop. Handed over finances permanently to partner, was so much easier to do once he knew the truth. And I just feel some hope.
I know its only been 5 days since I last gambled, but I have a plan. A plan to get back on track and finally be rid of gambling. I know it won't be easy, and I know there will be bumps in the road, but I truly feel like this really is it now.
To the members that know me, I just want to say I hope your all OK and your journeys are going well..and to those that don't , well... hi ?
No looking back ?
Hi Stace,
It’s nice to hear from you again,
I haven’t been on here in a while too but posted last week and can still say I’m doing well.
It’s the best thing to have those self exclusions on as I personally believe it really does help.
Im so sorry you are not having the best time but I’m hoping the best for you and as I’ve spoken to you before, you’re a fighter so please keep that fight.
You can do this
Kay x
Ahh kay, hi. I'm so glad your doing so well ? hope all is well with you.
Stace x
Hi Stace
I often wondered how you were coping and if you were keeping well .
5 days is an amazing start you can so this
we are all here for support
Holly
Holly how are you doing ? hope your well
Stace
Hi Stace, Not sure if ur the stace i've known on here for years? or someone else. If you are im saddenned that youve had a bad time whilst being away.....but am hopeful as if it is you you seem to be back with the confidence and barriers that are needed to make inroads into this recovery.....I wish you every success and hope if it is you that you are in a better mental state than when you left as you seemed very down..... I'm hoping this is a new chapter of your life and with it comes success.... If it brings a successful recovery over the next six months then we can all celebrate on here on new years eve to toast to a successful 2021.
All the best Adamxxx
Hi Adam, yes its me, I was stace? last time. I see your doing well ? well done. Theres definitely no going back for me now, my new saying is...no looking back. Its been a really tough time for me, but I'm not going to go into that as I can't change it. Happy to see friendly faces again, or should I say names ? speak soon.
Stace xx
Hello Stace.
I am sorry you have been experiencing difficulties and sincerely hope your quality of life improves.
You are a kind, considerate lady who deserves to find happiness.
Aum ?
Ah aum, still as kind as ever. I'm hopeful that this is a turning point in my life now ? hope your well
Stace X
1 week gamble free, I feel so much more hopeful and determined this time round. Think maybe having the right mental health support is helping me this time.
I want to have fun days out with my children throughout the summer holidays, they truly do deserve it, so putting money to the side each week now, they break up in 2 weeks and I just want to have fun with them, not be stressed and skint cos I gambled.!
My daughters birthday at end of month, that day has always been a hard day, but this year for the first time, I'm not dwelling on what should of been, but being extra thankful for what I do have.
I won't look back ??
Been looking over bank statements i asked for. Cannot believe how much I've spent gambling the past few months, its absolutely shocking . Proper eye opener. Makes me feel so digusted with myself but I can't change that now, all I can do is move forward and make sure it never happens again.
Stace
Hey stace, if I say nice to see you back....obviously not nice to see how much you've been struggling. So glad to see that you're back and sounding so positive about quitting. Take care xx
Hi Charlie boy,
Compared to this time last week I'm in a much better place already. I know this won't be easy, but I think with the extra support I'm having in other aspects of life, it will be alot easier to stop this time round.
Hope your well
Stace
Each day I feel like that fog is lifting more.
No looking back ?
Forward all the way ?
?? DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LOOKING BACK ON WHAT YOU'VE LOST..... MOVE ON BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T MEANT TO BE TRAVELLED BACKWARDS ??
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