Thank you for that wonderful post Sandra. I particularly liked the following paragraph: "I think sometimes we push ourselves too far to be someone we are not and perceive that life of 'normal.' But you know what, going with the flow, being true to oneself and doing what lights up the heart and soul is what truly matters."
Hello Diary.
Wednesday evening pleased to say that all is well with me.
Going like a steam train and I'm still gamble free
I used to be tormented - a foolish man indeed
Driven by a lust to satisfy my greed
My heart was close to breaking and anguished was my soul
One day an angel called to me: "It's time to Rock 'n Roll!"
Stephen
Now then Stephen ?
Thank you for the post. Got myself in a little whirlpool recently but am slowly climbing out now..all washed, drained and dizzy from the strength of those currents.
Life is a journey huh and it has ups and downs. How we manage them determines the outcome. I am still very much learning on this chapter of my life. That's all I can do I suppose.
I like the poem you written ?. Very nice and inspiring! You are a man with many inspiring words!
I hope you're having a good and relaxing day. You sound like you're living life to the full and dancing to its wonderful tune! I am extremely happy for you!
Be proud of yourself, you're doing great and I thank you again for being such a massive part in my journey too..very much appreciated.
Stay safe, keep smiling ??
Ps. Woofs from Bella as I did tell her about you and your kind heart ❤
S&B xx
Thankyou Sandra & Bella for your kind words and woofs.
All is good with me today. I attended my 3rd Argentine Tango last night which was good fun. A bit tricky but I will persevere until I get the hang of it.
It is 10 weeks since I last gambled and I feel reasonably confident that I can stay gamble free. Roulette on the fobt machines was my downfall but now the stake has been reduced I don't have any desire to go on them again. I have kept out of the betting shops which is good.
I do get occasional urges to bet on the football but I know how stupid that would be.
My name is Stephen. My last bet was on the 8th March 2019.
72 days gamble free - happy as a lark singing in a tree
To gaze with awesome wonder and a little trepidation at the journey that awaits me on the road to my salvation
The gamcare mountain looms ahead - shines brightly in the sun
My gambling days are over - now it's time to have some fun
Stephen x
Happy Sunday Stephen, 72 days GF and many more ahead. I'm still on the GF road and should be debt free by the end if the year. Reading other diaries and my own reminds me of how destructive gambling is, I never want to feel like that again. Onwards and upwards take care S x
Thankyou for visiting my diary Sharon. I see you are approaching 800 days gamble free which is absolutely wonderful. I have always admired your positive attitude, courage and determination along with your good sense of humour and compassion. (I think I can honestly say you are one of the nicest people I have never met). I am overjoyed that your debt will be paid off by the end of the year because debt through gambling can be very depressing.
My gambling debt really gets on my nerves and I still have another 4 years of debt repayments. How I could have been so stupid is beyond my comprehension because I don't think of myself as an idiot but I did behave in an idiotic manner. I will be 72 when I finish paying the debt off and I will be really annoyed if I pop my clogs the week after. Haha, I will be grumbling all the way up to the pearly gates.
I went Salsa dancing tonight and Salsa again tomorrow night but at a different venue. I like dancing.
Today I gave a months notice at my gym. I fancy a change and will look around for something else in July. Plenty of other things to do over the summer anyway.
The time has come to go to sleep - I bid my friends goodnight
Feeling nice and peaceful now as I switch off the light
Dreams they can be pleasant when one hasn't had a bet
No waking up from nightmares, afraid and in a sweat.
Stephen x
Gave away my hard earned cash which really was so dumb
Transfixed in front of a fobt machine until my brain went numb
I must have looked quite ludicrous - bedazzled in a trance
Just me and a phoney roulette wheel engaged a tragic dance
But that is all behind me now for I have seen the light
Together with my trusted friends I'll stand my ground and fight
Strong, proud, courageous - I'm sure we will not fail
We're brothers and sisters arm-in-arm walking the gamcare trail
Stephen x
Nothing Can Be Sorrier Than A Depressed GamCare Warrior
A gambling mind it can torment and fill a head with doubt
Reminding one of sorry days when stood alone with nowt
Caring friends give kind advice and say "you must move on"
"Get yourself some hobbies or turn the telly on"
But wherever we might want to go - I'm sure you will agree
The only chance of getting there is if we're gamble free
Stephen x
Hi Stephen, many thanks for your kind words that genuinely mean alot to me! Staying GF is an anchor for my sanity and although I am proud of 800 days I still have my guard up. Hope you enjoy a lovely weekend take care S x
Hi Stephen,
Good to read of your continued striving towards free and calm future!
You're doing more than amazing!
Bat any urges away..."slowly slowly catchy monkey!"...ever read Chimps paradox? ...good stuff ?
Keep up good work - one day at a time!
S&B xx
Many thanks Sharon & Sandra for posting on my diary, your support and encouragement means a lot to me.
Over 80 days since I last had a bet.
No more giving in.
Gamble free and that is the way I am going to stay.
Let's Rock n Roll.
Stephen x
Hi Stephen! Well done on your continued progress! You see how anything is possible if we put our minds and hearts to it. Massive well done from me ?
Your poem made me cry...in a good way...it touched the nerve..thank you for your thoughts....
Hope you continue to have a wonderful week (to be fair im lost in days lol...truly am..it's weekend for me where i stand lol)...
Keep dancing to life's tune...it's promising for the future.
Much love & respect
S&B xx
Thank you for those kind words Sandra. I hope you have a lovely day.
Shoulder to shoulder me and my pals are full of vim & vigour
Though dastardly bookies may laugh at us or have a little snigger
This time we will beat them for we just won't have a bet
The gamcare army's on the move and they ain't seen nothing yet
We do not need to fight them or get in a boat and row
Our answer to temptation is a clear decisive NO
Stephen x
I was talking yesterday to a lady who manages a bookmakers, she told me that the takings are well down since the £2 limit on the fobt machines was introduced.
To me, it makes no sense to play roulette on them. One is highly unlikely to get a decent win anyway and once a person starts losing than they can't increase the stake to win their money back.
On top of that there is now an option of landing on green & red which gives the illusion of allowing larger bets but it is simply an opportunity for the machine to increase its edge.
I have now satisfied my curiosity and can clearly see that the fobts are a complete and utter waste of time and their is no chance whatsoever on winning on them.
Unfortunately my research cost me time and money that I could not afford to lose. I call it research to make me feel better but the fact of the matter is that I have thrown away my gamble free day count and that is really upsetting me.
My name is Stephen. My last bet was 31st May 2019
Do I really need to carry that cross around with me!
Probably not.
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