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Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Good evening all, 

I am brand new to the page, but wanted to drop my story and use this page as a platform to take the next step and stop gambling for good. My gambling came to a head this month, when I had a bit more money than usual due to my savings. I spent a Hell of a lot more than I should have and something just clicked in my head saying “what are you doing?!”.

I never believed I had a problem, I always just thought it was a bit of fun, until I realised the damage it was doing to my family life. Why am I spending money on a virtual slot machine? Why am I betting on football games that I really don’t care about? Why do I always think 14 red is coming up? The answer is simple, I have an issue. I should be spending the money on my family, not on some online site. 

All bills are paid are paid on time, but why waste all that money in the ways that I am?!

Last week, I broke down & I confessed all to my wife, and told her the magnitude of the situation,  and whilst it was awful for her to hear, it was like a weight off my shoulders. thankfully, we have limited debt, I am hoping I have caught this disease in time, before it spiralled further, but I need to act now. I’ve managed to reflect what I’ve done over these last few days, and I think to myself what I could have done with that money rather than throwing it away.

I am now on day 4 GF, and I have used the GamStop to exclude myself from all online retailers and handed full control of finances over to my wife as I don’t trust myself. I’m determined to beat this. I have read some of the diary entries, some very inspirational stories in there (and some very sad ones) and will look to utilise chat next. 

Before signing off, just want to say that my wife is an absolute diamond, determined to stand by me and help me get through this. I don’t deserve it, but I will make sure that I repay her confidence in me by beating this and making our future great. 

Thank you for reading. 

This topic was modified 2 months ago by Darkpassenger2020
Quote
Posted : 30th November 2020 11:38 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear Darkpassenger2020

Thank you for sharing your story and to say that you have taken a really positive step by reaching out to us on the forum.  You have taken a really positive step in registering with Gamstop.

Should you need need further support/advice  please do not hesitate to contact us via the Netline or Helpline on 0808 8020 133 to speak with an adviser as there are other strategies we can help you put in place. 

Take Care

John

Forum admin  

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st December 2020 5:36 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi Darkpassenger, it's not easy to admit to this so really well done. I couldn't find the strength to tell my husband and in my deluded mind I still believed that I could win my way out of the mess I had got us into and no one need ever know !! He found out one Friday morning that actually this Friday is 6months back !! Fallout was massive which I knew it would be and if I'm honest I was scared to tell him which is why for months I chased my tail trying to win my way out !! But the end result im gamble free and we are both happier he believes me when I say I'm sorry but he doesn't trust me and he not sure if he'll ever forgive me when it first happened I was begging for forgiveness but it's not important now. As you said now it's the determination to prove we can do this live a life gamble free and rebuild trust with loved ones. You've done the 2 most important things gamstop and handing over control of finances. Use this site well and you can get a wealth of advice, support and valuable insight into the demon that is compulsive gambling. Think about going a step further counselling or GA really get your head around this I've had the full monty 8weeks counselling and now weekly GA meetings. Best wishes with your recovery

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st December 2020 1:23 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Hi Charlieboy, 

Many thanks for the response. The big thing for me was accepting what I was doing, and trying to work out why! I have a good life, like everyone have a few small debts and I think it was the thrill of thinking one big win could clear that and make life better. The downside was I was making things worse. 

ive found the site really useful so far, and writing what I did and opening up on here, further promoted what I want to achieve. I’m now on day 5 and had no urges, I think that’s cause of realisation of what I’ve done, not that I could do anything as don’t have a bank card haha! If I want money my wife will give me my card but I’ve told her not to for fear of a slip up. 

she doesn’t want to treat me like a ‘child‘ was her way of putting it but I want her to. I feel it’s for the best. 

Counselling is next on my list, or certainly the CBT to start with. 

I just plan to take things a day at a time, and go from there. 

congrats on your recovery journey, it’s great to see success stories on here. I will also aim to help people out where I can, 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st December 2020 5:45 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Thank you John for the further info. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st December 2020 5:45 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Day 6 GF, thankfully still haven’t had any urges. 

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Posted : 2nd December 2020 9:04 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Onto day 7 GF, only keeping this blog as it helps me focus remembering to update it. I know the urges will still be there but lots of things keeping me busy at work & home life is keeping me focused. Stay safe everyone. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd December 2020 7:14 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

I didn’t post yesterday, however, day 8 GF yesterday, today is the start of day 9. Feeling good. I’m determined not to break this chain, wife is still being as supportive as ever. 

Have a great day guys. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th December 2020 11:22 am
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Well done 

And I'm glad you have a supportive wife 

Keep going x

Lou x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th December 2020 4:16 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Hi Lou, 

Thank you for the comment, much appreciated. Hope you are well. 🙏🏻

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th December 2020 8:25 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Your welcome..I really hope you get the support you need from the site xx

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th December 2020 9:04 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

11 days GF now. Haven’t really had any urges at all, and that’s with watching sports all weekend. I know I’m not cured and probably never will be, but I’m feeling strong. Hope you’ve all had a good weekend. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th December 2020 8:22 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

Haven’t posted in a few days due to keeping busy but now 15 days GF! Staying strong and determined. Hope everyone else is keeping well, should anyone read this. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th December 2020 6:21 pm
Darkpassenger2020
(@darkpassenger2020)

On to day 18 GF, feeling good, haven’t had any urges to gamble. I think the reality of what happened has shocked me into this. I am determined to hit that 1 month mark, then 2, 3 etc. 

I hope everyone has had a good weekend. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th December 2020 11:25 am
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Well done your doing great  x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th December 2020 3:45 pm
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