New me started 5th June 2020

Hiya Charlieboy 

Hope your okay and keeping our gamble free life. I've not been to good again but got the head doctor on Monday maybe change somethings in my medication that just help me abit.

Hiya Charlieboy 

How's things? Sorry not had to much contact as you know how I am, don't know myself from one day to the next. But I'm here not gambling and have no intention to. I've also been doing the online cbt group with the nhs gambling harm service on a Thursday. It's through zoom and the one I do is situated in Leeds, think you would get alot from it

Hey diary. Day 54 . Today I had a zoom GA meeting and despite me having misgivings about it being another online gig it was really good I was anxious but not off the scale anxious and I managed to get my story out when it was my turn to speak. Good news is the normal meetings start next week and I won't feel as anxious going as I've already met some of the members. I already know that this is going to be a positive for me. I will never be complacent about my addiction im 54years old now and I'm not going to waste any more of my life

@charlieboy

Glad it worked for you and you saw it through. Keep going, you're doing great.

Chris.

Hello Charlieboy

Congratulations on your excellent progress. You have a great attitude as well as being proactive with regard to your recovery and you have consistently shown great courage, integrity and resilience.

I have often struggled in ridding my life of this insidious addiction but walking alongside good people like yourself makes me feel that I can succeed.

Respect and many thanks

From

Stephen x 

Thankyou charlieboy for your kind words , 

Well done on being gamble free you really have a great attitude and I’m glad to be part of this journey with you ?

Th to both of you too. This site the friends I have made , the support and advice from people like yourselves has been and will remain at the heart of my recovery. Without all this I know that I wouldn't be in the place I am now, a much happier place! Long may all of us continue on this journey together through good times and bad times xxx

Hiya good to hear that your in a happier place.

Am 48 and a halve and am gonna try and not waste any more of my life either.

Thanks for your support x

Hi Charlie,

Thanks for your support on my thread! 

Its very nice to see your progress and determination to get better. Keep using all the tools available to you and you simply cannot go wrong then.

Hope lil one is doing well also ?..my best wishes to you all.

Kind Regards

Sandra xx

Hi diary sorry I haven't posted on you for few days, but I have posted on others diaries and read a lot. Tomorrow morning last counselling session which I was worried about stopping but I'm ok now as I had first zoom GA meeting last week and tomorrow is back to face to face meetings and I'm looking forward to it. Other than that a few thoughts of gambling when me and hubby had a bit of a row few days ago. Through counselling sessions I have found out that I rarely get angry and that instead of using anger in a positive way I internalize it , get down, then on the downward spiral. I'm trying to start making a change so I ' told my addiction.... Sorry it's not happening !! ' when my hubby came back from work I told him I was angry with him and why. Wow he said he was sorry... Not a word I've often heard from him, and ultimately I'm not saying that this is all his fault, I've never really made him think about the horrible things he sometimes says I've always 'papered over the cracks' When I think about it this is a lifelong thing for me always trying to make people happy not upset anyone. And something else dawned on me  previous experience of relationships were different with more easy going men. I've been with my husband 21years gambled for 20 of them after never gambling before. Again not trying to blame him but obviously to me I think I lost my way very early in our relationship. Then came the miscarriages then finally becoming a mum (a joy obviously) . I'm 54 now and I've got enough time to turn my life around and I'm going to , I don't want to gamble again so therefore I have to work on myself!!!....Work in progress.....updates to follow

Ohhhh I forgot big 60 gamble free !!

Congrats on 60 days. I was the same as you about not expressing how I felt in certain situations, keeping it in and sort of saying to myself "I'll show you" and have a gamble which ultimately made me feel worse. I have tried to stop doing this and start saying how I feel when I get upset or angry with things. It's not easy as it has led to a lot of upset, but, I have explained that it's definitely better for me out there rather than festering. 

All the best 

Hiya Charlieboy 

Hope your doing well and keeping to our motto off one day at a time. As I know you will be just to let you know I'm okay just having a few bad days but hope to be back to my old self asap. Just don't want you worrying. Take care my friend and hope your lads doing well at the cricket 

Hi diary first face to face GA meeting last night and I already know it's going to be good for me. I felt tired after the meeting the emotions I think but I felt a calmness I haven't felt in a long time afterwards and that's carried on into today. So that's my Monday night's sorted !!

Hi Chris, if you're on and reading tonight I just wanted to say ty for the help and inspiration you give myself and others. I've just read what you wrote for lostsouls I wanted to say something on his thread but I just couldn't think of the right words. From reading lost souls reply I think he found comfort in your words. Ty again