New me started 5th June 2020

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(@kevthekev40)
Posts: 414
 

Morning Charlieboy 

Hope you've woke up feeling good as today is another step on our life's journey another day gamble free, you should be proud your doing amazing. I hope your lads doing well with his cricket, plus I hope you and hubby are getting on okay as he's got to see by now how well your doing. Well I just thought I would catch up as charge going on tablet and that daft rabbit has chewed through my charger I've just noticed as never got him back in his cage until after 1am this morning. Have a great day and I'll try and get a charger sorted 

 
Posted : 21st July 2020 6:47 am
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Read diary. Day 48 going good, me and hubby over last week communicating better working on us. But the big news is I told my son I wasn't going to yet but my weekly counselling session was coming up and I asked him for some privacy he was really upset he said he knew I was keeping something from him. I didn't know what to do I spent the whole hour crying to the counsellor. She gave me awesome advice I came off the phone and I told him. He was relieved he thought I was dying........

 
Posted : 21st July 2020 9:57 pm
(@kevthekev40)
Posts: 414
 

Oh Charlieboy 

What a start to the day you've had a good end plus your son loves you to bits as you've always done your best by him even when you had your problem but it didn't effect your wonderful son who I hope to see play cricket one day even although I don't like it will make an exception lol speak to you later 

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 12:26 am
(@kevthekev40)
Posts: 414
 

Morning Charlieboy 

Hope your son got on well at cricket. Well how are you doing my friend? I'm sat here waiting on my gp given me my weekly call. I hate phone calls it's not the same as face to face and having a good old chat as I get on really well with him, oh well better than nothing. That's us another day gamble free. And that's a big achievement. I've got something going on in the background and can't say to much just now but if it pulls off it Will be emense. I will let you know just don't know how long it will take. So how's the hubby? Is he away working at moment and is he proud off how well your doing. Talk to you soon it's my phone 

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 7:05 am
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Lol kev I love your posts it's like talking to you. I'll post for you later

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 7:54 am
(@seenthelight2020)
Posts: 104
 

Hi Charlie boy thanks so much for your support on your post , to answer yes do have long term since teens severe mental health issues. Agree totally , bad mental health goes hand in hand with gambling. Had many counselling sessions for mh and on waiting list at min for emdr treatment ( long wait list). I see your nurse and read about painful loss , sorry to hear this horrible illness has affected somebody else badly. You have great attitude btw advising never letting blocks down and relinquishing finances. It’s forever , me and others are testament to that. I had bank come card today . Was about to deposit 400.00 crypto to gamble with. But when the monzo app asked for auth. I declined them cut up card and any photo id I have. Then put the pieces in bin. I think that shows strength ( I think ). Take care and we’ll done. Keep going , doing brill.

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 5:30 pm
(@seenthelight2020)
Posts: 104
 

Just to add and have no access to money apart from that monzo account which now thankfully relinquished. Stupidly set up in my name just for bills , but almost today as said spent it. Scared me enough to to cut up card and any I.d so can’t open anything else when no thinking clearly. Have bet blocker 5 years plus gamstop 5 years , all money in partner name and no access sent to her. Time/money/access the triangle from prev counselling had. Need get back gamcare counselling and ga and comitt this time. But as you prob testify in early days blocks really help abstain. Once I finished wfh and don’t need vpn app on smartphone any more. Be getting rid for little nokia . Guess I’m trying be as paranoid and thourough about blocks and making sure no access to money. As when not rational or strong then your so vulnerable. Sorry for rambling , we can do it.

This post was modified 4 years ago by seenthelight2020
 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 5:43 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Well dear diary today is 50 days I'll say it again 50 days gamble free!! When my husband found out on June 5th my world crashed but life goes on like with the virus " it's a new normal " . Mentally I am starting to feel stronger but I will never take my recovery for granted...... " Never forget that I will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows just around the corner " . I must always keep the blocks in place and give my addiction the respect it has to have. This forum has been uppermost in my starting recovery and will continue to be uppermost in continuing recovery.  Thank you this far to friends I have made and people who have supported me with advice, I know I've made good first steps with you all. Was going to set 100 days as next goal but I'm going for 75 days as I'm listening to the professionals don't run before I can walk, one day at a time. Best wishes to all here for a gamble free future, but be thankful for each gamble free day.

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:07 am
(@vinnie)
Posts: 561
 

Well done on reaching 50 days , it’s amazing how life can change one day at a time , keep up the good work you doing fantastic ?

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:20 am
(@kevthekev40)
Posts: 414
 

Hiya Charlieboy 

I'm so glad your son acted when you told him there not daft and know something is wrong but what? All these things going through his mind and you worrying about having to tell his as you thought you'd let him down but in fact you've got a wonderful son there and you've just taught him a life lesson not everything in life is black or white, I may be your mum who shelters him from all you can. And Charlieboy that's a life lesson if he takes that through life and not end up like us mugs. Plus he knows your strong and you'll beat this look everyone mum's messed up she's not perfect. ..........

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:31 am
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Ty kev and you are right trying to act to your kids like you're perfect is not good. Sets them up for a massive fall, better to talk through things with them and try to forewarn them and instil  life skills. There is no perfect life people who appear to have the perfect life often have the darkest secrets

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:39 am
(@seenthelight2020)
Posts: 104
 

Well done on 50 days , doing great. You will only get stronger. Remember from last time first 3 months hardest. Obviously always have be on guard , but mentally it gradually got slightly easier once over the 3 months and hopefully start feel happier. Just never let guard , or blocks , access to money or cards and you’ll be ok.

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 12:28 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Hi seenthelight2020 wise words indeed and ones that I'm totally taking on board. I will do everything possible not to go back to the hell of gambling. Hope you are doing ok and you get back to gamble free life. Best wishes

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 1:38 pm
(@bladesman)
Posts: 328
 

Well done Charlieboy on 50 days. I'm still here jogging along 8 days behind you, another week ticked off. 

Lets just keep going in the words of Buzz Lightyear "To infinity and beyond!"

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 7:20 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
Topic starter
 

Hi bladesman lol ty wow how good we are doing, but we must not take our eyes off the prize-  the prize of being gamble free! Onwards upwards we can do this one day at a time

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 7:58 pm
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