New me started 5th June 2020

Hey hey hey 200 today !!!

??? News Just In From The Gamcare Observatory ???

Super Star Charlieboy has entered the constellation 200 Days GF.

Proud of you my friend

Best wishes and respect

From Aum x x x 

Well done Charlieboy 

scorry ??

Dear diary well Christmas is over and the new year is on its way. I wonder what 2021 will bring, hopefully roll out of vaccine will bring a bit of despite from covid but I'll believe it when it happens. Sad to see people out in droves again and people driving from London to Wales to climb a mountain what's that all about ? No respect for fellow human beings that's what it is !! All we can do I'm afraid is try and keep our families safe by doing the right thing and protecting ourselves and hope for a brighter future. GA meeting was awesome last night we ran over by half hour that's how good it was !! Despite covid despite other things thrown my way life is better gamble free will be 55years young soon and I'm looking forward to the future !!. Take care everyone and stay strong

Hi Charlieboy, just wanted to say thanks for all your support and encouragement over the last 7 months, you're a star!

Here's to a gamble free new year and beyond 

All the best ?

Dear @charlieboy,

Just came across your post from a few days ago and so pleased to read how well you are doing and how much your life, your strength and your optimism has grown.

Wishing you all the very best for 2021 and that everything continues in this positive direction. 

Eva

Forum Admin

Dear diary, day 223 over 7 calendar months now and it's 2021 so I can say my last gambling was last year !! How awesome is that?.....very !! Well covid is still the name of the game at the moment but let's hope the vaccines will give us some much needed respite. Never give up hope that things can be different they can be and they will be and that goes for lots of things including compulsive gambling. Life can be different but hard work is needed and the hard work reaps the benefit of being gamble free. This is not a dress rehearsal for life..... this is life we have to grab it with both hands and run with it make it the best we can be the best people we can. Keep barriers up blocks in place show this addiction we mean business we are not weak we are strong !! Don't let it close again but give it the respect it deserves rejoice in your recovery day by day !! We can do this. 

Day 225. Feel down today and days like this I'm so so glad that I have firm barriers in place. Have had thoughts of gambling few times today and probably the worst urge I've had in a longtime. I'm posting this to own the feeling and take the power out of it. I'm grateful I have gamstop and no access to money and I've kept busy around the house.......I Will Not Gamble

Hi, you are allowed a down day sometimes and as you say you now recognise this feeling and can be strong and resist those urges. It was these days in the past that made us resort to gambling to escape but that only made us feel worse.

We are now in so much of a better place mentally than we were last June, amazingly 7 months now for both of us. You spend a lot of time trying your best to help and guide others so just have some time to help yourself through this and keep going. The blockers will keep you on the right path until the feeling passes.

Stay strong!

All the best

Hi bladesman ty for replying I appreciate it and I know you're right it will pass I already feel better for writing it down. Took me by surprise as I haven't felt like this in a good while. I'm so glad that we have done the full blocking measures and taken the advice of people on here who have walked in our shoes, if I was relying just on willpower today I would of relapsed but thankfully I'm not relying on willpower I'm protected ? I live to fight another day. Thank you for kind words

Thank you for sharing that Charlieboy. It is a good reminder of how vulnerable we are and takes me back to all the sad times when I threw in the towel.

Congratulations to your good self and also to Bladesman. You are good honest people and an inspiration to me.

Best wishes as you continue on your great adventures.

Aum x 

???

Dear diary day 230, well seem to have turned a corner again,urges and anxiety have gone. Let this be a wake up call to people who feel they are invincible. The thing that stopped me from gambling was blockers I'm being truthful when I say without gamstop and no access to money I would of relapsed. But and a wonderful big but ! I have got these tools to help me and I worked through a dark time instead of escaping by gambling. I would have been broken hearted if I'd relapsed but thankfully because I listened to tried and tested methods of abstaining I've got through my worst test so far I know I will be tested again as life always throws things at you. I'm so grateful that I've listened and learnt and it's not to do with amount of time I've been gamble free, it's about me, it's about how I feel about myself, my self esteem , self worth. That's what I would of ruined. To everyone struggling dig deep and keep yourself protected, gave me enough time to calm down and make better choices, take care all

@charlieboy I'm sorry I missed your struggles earlier in the month, but I'm pleased you've got those tools to help you. It does pass, and in this test of yourself, so have you.

Keep up the great work.

Chris.

Hi chris no need to apologise. You and others on here have given me that " lived through it " advice that I was able to call on, and it helped. It was an accumulation of things that life throws at you now and again that was condensed into a few days !! And I think after only 7 months gamble free the thoughts and urges were my default setting if that makes sense, and that's one of the things I thought about which turned me around ,after 21years of gambling ingrained in me I'm not going escape its clutches in 7 months but I do believe that the longer I get away from gambling the better my defences will be. That is why GA and engaging in here must remain a constant in my life to give me the tools to fight. Also keeping it real my husband has been planning to allow me access to our finances ( fully scrutinised ) but I'm not ready and that's what I'm going to tell him. I'm not willing to take any chances I'm listening to myself properly for the first time in years.

Hey Charlie!

Excellent work on g free time! Be very very proud of  yourself!

Little daily steps makes massive difference and the further you go, the bigger picture of life you will see ?

New thoughts, new aspirations, new plans and bigger zest for life! Esp when this pandemic finds its way outta our lives, you will also get more outside freedom..and that is absolutely beautiful. So much to see and do!

Keep up good work! You reap what you sow ?

S&B xx