Day 120 . 4th October will be 4 calendar months still taking it day by day but must say I am allowing myself to be a bit pleased with myself. Emotionally I'm stronger and I'm facing things and solving problems head on not burying my head in the sand. I'm so pleased for bladesman he has had a lot of problems and some very upsetting ones but he's staying strong and using the resolve he's built up over past few months . On this forum and in GA I'm constantly learning and today reading bladesman post has strengthened my resolve to do the right thing face problems....gambling is definitely not the way !!!
Hi, thanks for the mention and am glad you got something out of my post. I think I put it down just to show myself how much stronger I am at fighting this addiction now but also maybe if someone reads it they too will take some strenght in their own struggle.
You post a lot on other peoples threads giving support and isn't it great when something you write rings true for someone and helps them in their journey. I posted a couple of weeks ago to someone who was at 14 days and thought it was insignificant to where people like us are. I told him not to feel that way as I can remember how raw the early days were and reading other peoples stories only helped to strengthen my resolve to get through to where I am now.
Can you believe how we now feel after so much heartache and stress, lets just keep going and maybe help many others on the way.
All the best
Dear diary today is 4 calendar months ! That's a third of a year ! Christmas is coming ,this year there is money for presents, last year everyone had nice presents.....on credit cards !! Silly silly me but never again, I have always had a bad relationship with money way before gambling so that's something I'm working on now . Onwards and upwards !!
Sometimes I visit the diaries simply to be inspired by the courage, wisdom and vision of my fellow travellers.
This weekend I have witnessed our good friend Adam reach 10 months gamble free and today is the turn of Charlieboy who is 4 months into her journey of recovery.
The world needs heroes who we can look up to and seeing you both standing proud with fists raised has brought great joy and happiness to me.
Respect from Aum
Dear diary, I've been reminded today of why over the years I used gambling as an escape from life. But the point is USED not any more, I'm not going to use my husband being a P.....k as a reason to gamble , after 4months gamble free if I gambled now it would be a conscious decision to do so. And my conscious decision is I will find other methods of dealing with things,my husband is always going to be that way and obviously worse now since he found out about my gambling. I'm in no way excusing my behaviour, he has ever right to be upset about it. These issues have been long term in our relationship and I don't suppose for one minute will ever be any different. So I choose to deal with how I feel in a different way and find happiness in my recovery, gambling was the easy way to lose myself, this way is harder much much more rewarding. My son is so supportive I'm humbled by him we talk and I hope my experience can give him the knowledge to choose differently, he is not immune to the way sometimes my husband is although happily for the most part his dad is different with him.....because believe me if he was bad to him I would end my marriage in a heartbeat !! Anyway I've rambled on but in GA and this forum I have found better ways to cope than gambling. Gambling my friends is never the answer !!
@charlieboy. Insightful stuff from such a newbie. You continue to show that hard work counts, that life isn't always perfect but you realise that gambling is an escape, not the answer. I admire your perserverance and kindness, and sometimes brutal honesty, to others too.
One little saying that might help, you might not be in control of your gambling, but you are in control of placing that first bet.
Keep going, you're doing great.
I just read your diary and it was very enlightening. You seem to have alot to contend with your health and husband. Well done for four months game free.
I 'm really sure you have inspired many to stay strong and not gamble. I am still fighting this addiction myself but as I sit on my lily pad today I see still waters by the pond. There is a relaxed mood by the pond.
Keep up the good work Charlieboy. Toad has your backing we can leap over any obstacle no matter high. So put your hands together and clap for Charlieboy.
Day 134 = little over 19 weeks been busy writing on others diaries forgot my own !! Well probably because there is very little New for me, which I think it's good things are ticking over . GA as usual was very insightful we talked about guilt,remorse and moving forward from it and as usual I gained a lot,you have to give something of yourself to gain help and I'm getting better at it !!
Thank you for visiting my diary Charlieboy.
And congratulations on 136 days gamble free.
However, it has saddened me to think that you had no ducks so here are a few to keep you company:
Doris 🦆... Hiya Charlieboy I think you are a whizz for greeting new arrivals and telling them the biz 🧚♀️.
Donald 🦆 ... Charlieboy Charlieboy I think I'm going quackers 😂🤣😂, whilst paddling around this morning some weed caught on my knack of being gamble free is what you are aspiring to be.
Daphne 🦆 ... Greetings dear friend Charlieboy from little ducky Daphne who is deliriously delighted that you are gamble free.
Wishing you a good weekend