Hello All,
I'm going to completely use this as it should be, a recovery diary. I've been here many times before, but always find myself back. I like writing, this definitely helps me cope. I appreciate everyone who has taken their time to read this, I know it helped me cope, reading other people's story. So hopefully mine can help others.
Background
First gambled at 18 years of age. Small football acca's and such. Very small bets, soon followed friends into betting shops, playing FOBTs and soon placing larger sports bets.
When I turned 19 I started developing a habit of gambling, chasing losses etc. This is probably when I first came here, to this website. Throughout this time I've had the same full time job, this is what has been funding the gambling. All throughout my 2 years at this job I have nothing to show, which is sad to me.
Now, 20 years old. This is my current age, young I know. Continued cycle of getting paid, spending it all on gambling, going into overdraft, taking loans etc. You name it, I've done it. Apart from stealing. but I've been suffering with compulsive gambling for 2 years and it has already damaged my life significantly. Here's how.
Debt Management
I'm on a debt management plan. This is because I had so many creditors that I couldn't keep up, having a DMP made the monthly payments easier to pay, and I basically have somebody looking after the creditors for me. I think this will be paid off in about 5 years time. This is because the monthly payment is pretty small, I'm planning on increasing the monthly payment amount down the line I can increase the payment and knock off a year or so from the end date.
Not included in my DMP I have paypal credit which I'm paying back monthly, ending in just over a year.
These are the two things that I pay monthly which when eventually cleared will leave me debt free.
My Life
Aside from the debts I have a pretty decent job and have started going to university to keep progressing in my working industry. I go out frequently will friends, who also gamble, probably not as much as me. But I know this is a silent disease so I can't make that assumption. I just need to sort this habit out once and for all to improve my life. In a few years time I will be so happy with myself for doing it. Its stopping me being able to save a deposit for a house, a car, treat loved ones. Not to mention damaging me emotionally. I need to kick it this time.
What I Have Done To Stop
Lots of things. I'm angry that I've found ways to get around all of these blocks. But blocks are just walls put in place, they are not indestructible. To start things off I've had blocks on my computers, my phone and I've signed up to GAMSTOP so that I cannot sign up to any online casinos. Which didn't help me as I could use friends betting accounts etc. The next thing that I done, which is probably the best block, but once again didn't completely stop me. Was to switch to a Monzo card. Monzo completely block gambling transactions, it's as simple as that. Payment wont go through, so if all your money is on Monzo, you can't gamble it? Wrong. I would then send money to friends to use friends betting accounts. Then I set my sending limit to £10 a day, so I can't send friends any money. This didn't stop me withdrawing money, so I set a limit for ATM withdrawal aswell. Now, I finally think all blocks are in place.
Conclusion
Today is Monday the 11th of November 2019. My long range plan is to be gamble free for years, saving money to put a deposit down on a house and more nice things, improve my extremely poor credit score, get back into the gym and to keep pushing forward in my job role. I will comment almost everyday to let everyone know how I'm getting on, hopefully we can help each other.
If you're new here, and your situation isn't as bad as mine.. Please stop gambling now. I am only 20 years old and it has broken me down and torn me apart on occasions. Countless sleepless nights. I have cried about it. Worried about my credit score, how it will affect me in years to come. I feel like I've been through it.
This is it now. I will remain gamble free from this exact minute. So will you. Thank you.
Hi Unknown L,
Your journey has been familiar journey for myself.
It all started off with the fun stuff when I was about 23 years old, just a couple of pound here and there betting online on sports betting, never did it cross my mind a few month later I’d have a gambling addiction, it quickly takes over your mind and day to day life. Chasing losses, losing money like it didn’t even matter falling more and more into debt and taking out bigger loans to feed my gambling addiction even though I was on a good wage with very little money needed to be paid out for expenses and living costs.
Everyone can overcome this horrible addiction, we’re all in this together. You’ve done great to get to this point of wanting to stop as of today. I thought I’d never be able to stop but just like yourself i decided in my own mind enough is enough and now I’m 34 days gambling free and I feel like now I’ve come this far there’s no going back. A new chapter in my life has just begun.
Keep up the good work and the positive mindset!
What a powerful story. You have some great medium and long term ambitions and they are in your *** so go grab em! I am later on in my life but your entry has inspired me to seek out new goals.
keep posting
Hi mate. You sound exactly the same as me. I started when I was 18 j gambled my life aways for 12 longs years before I done something about it. It was either quit or Kill My self. You've got this mate it's hard. Really hard but you have got this. I'm currently 192 days gf after a relapse
Hi mate. You sound exactly the same as me. I started when I was 18 j gambled my life aways for 12 longs years before I done something about it. It was either quit or Kill My self. You've got this mate it's hard. Really hard but you have got this. I'm currently 192 days gf after a relapse
Congrats on almost 200 days, that's incredible and something I haven't been able to do for the last 2 years. I will keep pushing on. Thank you.
What a powerful story. You have some great medium and long term ambitions and they are in your *** so go grab em! I am later on in my life but your entry has inspired me to seek out new goals.
keep posting
It's a way of keeping my self busy. If I have too much free time I can end up falling back into old habits. I'll keep everyone updated. Thanks for your comment.
Hi Unknown L,
Your journey has been familiar journey for myself.
It all started off with the fun stuff when I was about 23 years old, just a couple of pound here and there betting online on sports betting, never did it cross my mind a few month later I’d have a gambling addiction, it quickly takes over your mind and day to day life. Chasing losses, losing money like it didn’t even matter falling more and more into debt and taking out bigger loans to feed my gambling addiction even though I was on a good wage with very little money needed to be paid out for expenses and living costs.
Everyone can overcome this horrible addiction, we’re all in this together. You’ve done great to get to this point of wanting to stop as of today. I thought I’d never be able to stop but just like yourself i decided in my own mind enough is enough and now I’m 34 days gambling free and I feel like now I’ve come this far there’s no going back. A new chapter in my life has just begun.
Keep up the good work and the positive mindset!
Thanks a lot for your comment my friend. Congrats on over 1 month gamble free. I'm looking forward to hitting milestone's like that and taking control of my life again. I'll keep you updated.
Hey Gareth, like you I’m feeling positive. Will also use this place as a tool in a new way of life. Good luck L. We’re on the right path.
Day 2 - Busy at work but always think or what I could of should have done back months before this addiction developed. But what can I do about it now. Just keep on being gamble free and staying strong. Good luck everyone, here's to day 3.
Day 3 - Tough day. Not sure when they'll get easier. No gambling though, that's a positive. Busy with university work this Friday and I'm out with friends on Saturday. No gambling, and try to be sensible with money. Good luck all.
Mondays are always hard. Tough week ahead. Crawling to next payday. Looking to start a fresh challenge in December in the overcoming problem gambling section, where I'll write everyday with what I do to keep myself away from gambling throughout the whole of December. May be a bit in active until then. Good luck all.
Another Day gone, onto the next.
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