New beginnings

Yes am sure I will end up working with the ones that are self-isolating and like you say it all feels like being between a rock and a hard place. I have found it isolating and not good for mental health at home and yet I don't want the stress and pressure of being at work.

We soldier on as best we can. As long as we don't gamble. That's crucial 

Very wise and true words spoken SA you've got to believe it's going to get worse unfortunately before it gets better and that would probably mean more stringent sanctions and lockdowns but everything is guess work until it actually happens.

Nearly a week gamble free, for the past 6 months that would seem pretty unimaginable but I'm nearly here 7 days. My mindset is very much one day at s time and getting through a day is a success in itself. 

I think next week will be hard, I have 3 days off together, it's normally 4 but I said I would work good Friday because I am a good Samaritan like that ?? though really just a bit of extra money in the wage. The main objective next week will be try keep myself busy, don't give in to temptation and work on becoming a better person.

I joined a union couple months ago. They've been really helping me alot with my work issues, I've got my counseling over the phone next Thursday morning so onwards and upwards

Packer

A bit of a strange feeling today, normally on a Friday night finishing work I'd be buzzing for the weekend but not really alot to look forward to except for bashing some TV shows and catching up on some sleep.

Basically in 2 hours it's when s**t the fan for me a week ago, it's a peaceful knowledge inside that tonight I will sleep with a peaceful mind rather than be kept wide awake and have the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I can honestly sit here now and tell you I have put in effort and tried my very hardest this week. By gambling it doesn't mean in the future I haven't tried but I've put the effort in to get away from what I've been doing for the past year.

I've been trying help my fellow colleagues out at work to improve our work environment, pay and protection. Hopefully it comes to some fruition at some point

In my life it has been a successful week because I haven't gambled but the journey has only just started

Packer

So I've got through the weekend gamble free!! Quite the accomplishment with being off work and not much to do. Temptation has been lingering for the weekend though. 

I had a dilemma over the virtual national, it was for a good cause but it wasn't about the winning or losing it was the ever lasting damage it can cause afterwards. I wouldn't of backed any of the first 5 anyway so it's all good. 

My biggest Achilles heel when gambling was roulette it really took over me. Trying for the ultimate quick hit. It actually makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable now when I see any type of roulette. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing but I guess it is what it is and so be it. 

Back to work tomorrow so a bit of structure to start the week off for me. Pay day next Tuesday. 

Life feels a little lonely at the moment, I'm trying not to see anyone at the moment. I feel it would be a risk for anyone to come into contact with me. Facetime and phonecalls are at an all time high. 

Just listening to some upbeat music at the moment to end the weekend on a happy note and a few vodkas to spruce me up ☺️☺️

Packer

Packer I was like you over the grand national but I new it would not stop there I am glad I got blocks in place and 25 days and no gambling it’s not been easy but every day I get less urge to gamble keep up the good work
   Scotty  

Thanks for the kind words Scotty and it's also easier to handle when I wouldn't of had the winner haha. 

That's amazing that you're nearly 4 weeks gamble free. Congrats bud, I think sometimes in the long run the achievement of not gambling can never be underestimated

Packer

Hiya,

Am off today. Listening to some upbeat music sounds like a good idea.

Glad you got through the weekend ok.

Hope work goes ok

Just for today.

Cheers SA, work went pretty well miraculously we're now equipped with all the PPE but the battle continues with them, they gone suddenly quiet when I asked about our annual leave entitlement being extended into next year!! Work would be do much easier if the company just supports it's staff once in a while.

Feeling extremely positive and strong this week through the reliance of nobody, it's literally been me, the Tele, music and a big of sun well Mr vodka has been present too ??. 

I think someone posted on here the other day and I've been thinking about it alot about us being here because we've lost.  Kinda got me thinking has anyone ever declared an addiction when winning?!? I know when you're near rock bottom with it that it doesn't matter about the winning because you'll lose it anyway but like people who slip up and win do they wait to come back here until they lose?!? I guess the winning just gives you an incentive to do it more.

Someone in work said to me that I should just relax and take it easy over the company?!? I don't get it you want people to think they can P**s on you and there is no consequences for it?!? Crazy mentality.

Got my counseling in the morning well over the phone anyways, one blessing during this pandemic my dentist has been cancelled ??

Packer

Hey,

You're doing very well! Keep the clear head, peaceful heart and soul intact.We all will get through this difficult time.For now we need to aknowledge every little mercy out there...eg. no gambling incidents...That is really positive.Stay safe, committed and be kind to you

S.......xx

Cheers for your kind words sb28 they're really appreciated ☺️ whatever happens in life it's full of rollercoasters but no gamblings leads to more stress free and happier moments.

My therapy session wasn't much use to me yesterday, I literally couldn't sleep wednesday night, well not until 5:45 in the morning and then set my alarm for 8:45 for my session at 9:00 just was too tired to function. With the way my work pattern goes I can only do it once every 2 weeks but it is what it is I guess!!

So am near enough 2 weeks gamble free, feeling positive!! Some people have had there wages, but I haven't bothered to check mine until tomorrow. Gonna stick up on things, pay bills off and put some money away to get rid of any temptation. The one good thing is I'm working 5 out of 7 days now so will be pretty tired by the end of the day.

Still finding through the days that I'm getting quite tempted to want to do something but for now I have stayed away from temptation. 

Packer

Feeling high on the temptation for gambling today, no matter how the losses pile up I just always want to go back, it's days like today truly despise the mind that I have. Any rational person could just walk away but I always want to go back one more time........ughhhhhhh absolutely hate it at the moment

Did you gamble if not well done you we all go through Temptation but it dose get better. gamcare are here to ring if you get temptation take care 

scotty

Thankfully I didn't give in to temptation Scotty, just having one of those negative days and hating how I've treated myself and others ??

Packer

Don’t be to hard on your self I know what you mean about that I have Hurt a lot of  people take care 

scotty

So yesterday's post was pretty negative, today has been a bit of s stressful day, got a disciplinary hearing tomorrow with work, I love how management want to stick to certain rules but on a life and death virus they just wing it and won't follow government and NHS guidelines...hate them.

Been trying to get my money back on my holiday too today, hotel won't give a refund. They don't even acknowledge the hotel is actually closed, I want money not a bloody voucher!! Can't even get into a queue with easyJet and my bank has blocked my telephone banking do now I have to go the bank tomorrow with my passport.....Jesus one of those days

The best part about today is I haven't gambled. I dread to think what can go wrong tomorrow ??

Packer