Going well, keep it up.
re the lockdown, maybe have a list or a plan each day. It could be as simple as breakfast, lunch and tea and one job(I don't know, say clean the windows for example) but give yourself a purpose rather than depend upon just seeing what happens. Do the list. Complete the plan for a sense of accomplishment.
Hope that helps.
33 days GF now. I am actually proud of myself. Things are great with the family. I have decided to get back into fishing as it takes up alit of spare time. I cannot stress enough how much gamblock has helped me. I dont get many urges to gamble now, as I know I cant online, which is a huge weight lifted.
This forum has also helped massively as people are supporting and not judging.
37 days gf now. I surprised myself yesterday. My wife went into the shop for a few things with me and the 2 kids in the car. She came out and had 4 x £1 scratchcards and handed us all 1 each, thinking nothing of it. I understand I dont have any issue with scratchcards, but I gave her mine back and reminded her. I recognised it as a possible trigger. I then proceeded to lecture her on how the kids should not have a scratchcard and she agreed with me. My job has also become very uncertain with my company declaring bankruptcy, it looks like the UK part will be ok, however I will know more in the next few days. This was again a possible trigger, so I decided to fill my time by putting our computer in my sons room and giving it to him. He was delighted and I am happy with it too.
Things continue to be good.
Thank you so much. You are right when you say it has gone fast. Its now 44 days gf and there is no doubt that lockdown has helped, as well as gamblock and the support of this website/community. Financially things are slowly getting better. I had borrowed £2k from my best friend (he really is a true friend) mainly to survive after my gambling had put us in such a hole and then my wife lost her job. I have £650 to pay and once that is cleared it will give us some more room to manoeuvre.
Thanks again for the support.
51 days gamble free.
I'm not sure what has happened but the last few days have been really hard. All I can think about is gambling. I have refrained and I have tried to speak to my wife about it but she is a bit sick of me moaping about the house and being a bit depressed. All of a sudden, money means very little to me. My parents have always been fairly well off and helped us out but I have always had to work for it. So for example I would cut their grass and they will give me £30. They stay out in the countryside so it is a fairly big job and takes maybe half a shift to do. In the past this £30 would have been mine to gamble, but now it just goes to my wife for extra food etc that we don't really need. I have spent some money on fishing recently, but not a lot and I feel guilty if I go fishing too much. The thing is, all of a sudden I have lost motivation to cut my parents grass as it seems the incentive has gone. Obviously I will still do it as I love them and it would cost them far more to have someone else do it, but I'm struggling with these thoughts. I am so thankful for gamblock as I feel I would have relapsed if it wernt for the things I have put in place.
It's good that you are still free from a bet but you really need somewhere you can talk to others who understand, not your wife who thinks you are just moping around.
Maybe give the Gamcare advisers a call or find a GA online meeting. It's good that you can write things down on here but there's nothing like being able to share how you are feeling without judgement.
If it's any consolation, I still get down days, thinking the answer is at the end of a bet. I know it's not but that doesn't stop he thoughts from coming around. When it's really tough I actually visualise my addiction as whispering in my ear constantly and I literally have to tell it to f**k off, picturing it scurrying away and leaving me in peace. It might only be a few minutes or hours but it's good to give myself some semblance of control over my feelings.
Keep going, one day at a time, you'll get through this.