Hay Stephen, chin up mate, we all stumble, but we get back up and go again buddy! Stay strong and keep going pal!
LMG
Hi Stephen, I second everyone else's support. You are genuinely one of the kindest and most encouraging souls around and no one is judging you. Don't punish yourself, draw a line and face forward with the thought that you deserve to have peace of mind and be GF. Take care S:)
Many thanks for visiting my diary and giving me support:
Murlo: I have started listening to guided "well being/relaxation" podcasts and hope it will help me with my recovery.
Boo Radley: Thank you for your excellent advice for me to pick myself up, dust myself down and reconnect with my chain of gamcare friends.
Ineffable: I have a debt repayment plan in place and recently have done reasonably well in managing my finances. Unfortunately when I gambled I had money in my wallet to cover a family event which didn't happen plus I was annoyed, upset and confused about something and my brain suggested that life would be better if I won some money. Not only did I lose what was in my wallet but also what I had in the bank, which was not a great amount but was more than I needed for the planned visit of relatives over the weekend.
Mixer: Love the poem Mixer which is full of meaning. I will certainly try to follow your good advice.
Zoey: It pleases me to see you are settled in here with your gamcare friends and are receiving the continued support of your son. Congratulations on your excellent progress.
Lewis: Thank you for those encouraging words of support ..... "stay strong and keep going."
Sharon: Thank you so much for visiting my diary Sharon to give me your support. Your recovery has always been a great source of inspiration for me. It is nearly 3 years now since you turned your life around and although you do not post on the diaries so much nowadays, you are still a valued and well respected member of the gamcare community.
Hello Diary.
Due to my being self excluded from all the betting shops I had gone in one of the arcades to gamble. Well the good news is that yesterday I went back in there and the staff were brilliant in self excluding me from every gambling establishment in the city and within a few hours I received an email confirming my self exclusion.
The bad news is that I am now public enemy number one as far as my sister and her husband are concerned. All I did was ask him for a small loan to tide me over until next Thursday and cover this weekends family events but he saw fit to slander me so I responded in like and than my sister jumped in on his side so I pointed out her dependency on alcohol (which she doesn't see) and so on and so on. My niece has now pitched in by telling me I am insane and should apologise to them.
I think if I had committed mass murder I would have been treated less harshly but I committed the unforgivable sin of gambling and than asking for a loan made it even worse.
Anyway things have been said which have not only burnt the bridges but have blown them to smithereens so it looks like I am now well and truly on my own now as regards family.
Stephen x
Sorry to hear you had a relapse Stephen, but it’s only 1 day out of how many?! 1 day of gambling out of 100 is better than 100 days gambling out of 100. You’ve been doing so well and you still are doing well! We all get temped back into it at times or we wouldn’t be here, chin up friend, you’ll get through this.
you treat everyone on here with such love and kindness and you really should be treating yourself the same way and not beating yourself up.
Hi Stephen
Sorry for the tough time you are going through but full credit to you for your openness and coming back here. For what it's worth my advice on family situation would be that as hard as it is then you must remember you're very vulnerable right now and need to concentrate on not gambling again. In time your head will become clearer and paths to resolution will become more obvious - now may be a time to just let it be and concentrate on you. Good luck
Thank you Lisa and Miked for your support and good advice.
Hello Diary, day two has been uneventful.
Hoping that the family upheaval will sort its self out over the coming months but the problem remains that harsh things were said by both sides which cannot be unsaid. However, time is a great healer so will hope for a harmonious outcome to it all.
No one but me suffered financially due to my gambling a couple of days but you would think by the reaction of my sister and her husband that I had committed some horrendous crime and than he chose to spread the word which was totally out of order.
Anyway I will follow the advice of Miked (above) and focus attention on my recovery.
I have got to be honest and admit that I am feeling very sad but that is to be expected and will pass.
Stephen x
I promise I will not gamble ever again.
Stephen x
Stephen,
When I was depressed last time. I saw this professional and she helped me through it. I think this advice is pertinent.
I was struggling with even the smallest of tasks. I wanted to take a bath but the bath was dirty and I didn't wanna clean it. So I didn't take a bath.
I wanted to sit in a clean front room but it was too messy and dirty and I didn't wanna clean it.
She told me "Make It Smaller".
I was flummoxed. I had no clue what she was on about. She was like, if cleaning the whole house is too big, then make it smaller, pick a room and do that room. If cleaning the whole room is too big, then pick a spot like a bookshelf or the table and just tidy that. If you make it smaller and do that small task you will have a small sense of accomplishment at achieving that one task.
I had these worksheets where I had to put what I was gonna do and I made them smaller when they weren't achieveable. I chose to clean the dining table. I can manage that!
I cleared it of post and things that I had been avoiding for months. I wiped it down and polished it with beeswax and I had a lovely place to sit and eat my tea. I felt so proud that I had achieved that thing in my day.
Every day, I picked something real small and real achievable. I did it and I felt proud.
I don't want or need you to promise not to gamble ever again, make it smaller. Just for today, I will not gamble. Just for this hour, I will not gamble.
You have this buddy. You are a real friend to many on this forum. You look after us all the time.
I want you to be happy and gamble free and your jolly self. Do it in whatever small chunks you need to but don't worry about forever.
That is all.
Drama x
That is a strange coincidence Drama because I tend to sit at my dining room table most of the time that I am indoors but can never bring myself to sort out all the stuff on it so keep pushing it to one side.
I promise that every day over the coming week I will do a little bit of housework and write what I have done on my diary.
I really appreciate your post because it was exactly the advice that I needed to read.
Stephen x
That was a bit hasty! I will do my housework but won't write about it in my diary.
Day 3 and the dust has settled. (On my relapse, not the furniture.)
Hopefully family issues will correct themselves as time slowly passes by.
Stephen x
I promise I will not gamble ever again.
Stephen x
Stephen,
When I was depressed last time. I saw this professional and she helped me through it. I think this advice is pertinent.
I was struggling with even the smallest of tasks. I wanted to take a bath but the bath was dirty and I didn't wanna clean it. So I didn't take a bath.
I wanted to sit in a clean front room but it was too messy and dirty and I didn't wanna clean it.
She told me "Make It Smaller".
I was flummoxed. I had no clue what she was on about. She was like, if cleaning the whole house is too big, then make it smaller, pick a room and do that room. If cleaning the whole room is too big, then pick a spot like a bookshelf or the table and just tidy that. If you make it smaller and do that small task you will have a small sense of accomplishment at achieving that one task.
I had these worksheets where I had to put what I was gonna do and I made them smaller when they weren't achieveable. I chose to clean the dining table. I can manage that!
I cleared it of post and things that I had been avoiding for months. I wiped it down and polished it with beeswax and I had a lovely place to sit and eat my tea. I felt so proud that I had achieved that thing in my day.
Every day, I picked something real small and real achievable. I did it and I felt proud.
I don't want or need you to promise not to gamble ever again, make it smaller. Just for today, I will not gamble. Just for this hour, I will not gamble.
You have this buddy. You are a real friend to many on this forum. You look after us all the time.
I want you to be happy and gamble free and your jolly self. Do it in whatever small chunks you need to but don't worry about forever.
That is all.
Drama x
I really love this advice!! I write a list every night before I go to bed of what I’m going to do the next day - all small things so very similar to this. If something isn’t done from today’s list it’ll be at the top of tomorrow’s list. So for example for tomorrow I have - put dinner in the slow cooker - take the dog out - work - go for a sun bed - hang up clean laundry from spare room - walk the dog again- mop kitchen floor. It helps me empty my brain before I go to sleep and I feel relaxed knowing what’s happening tomorrow and helps me keep on top of all the cleaning etc!
Stephen,
It was lovely to see you in chat tonight. I know you are devastated by your lapse but you should allow yourself to be proud of the actions that you have taken since. I know I am proud of you x
Thank you Lisa & Murlo for the excellent advice, support and encouragement.
Struggling to get myself motivated at the moment and realise that I need to snap out of it.
Have promised friends that I will go Salsa dancing tonight. Really don't feel like it but know if I do go that it will cheer me up.
Real sad with no energy and a little headache plus a bit nauseous.
Just feeling sorry for myself I think.
Stephen x
Feeling a little bit more positive.
Made some porridge and done some vacuuming.
Just listening to the Corrs singing "Everybody Hurts."
Stephen x
....Foreigner now singing "I Want To Go Where Love Is" so that should cheer me up!
That is great to hear Stephen. A bit of salsa dancing will get the endorphins going and counteract those other nasty symptoms that you are having at the mo. Enjoy yourself xx
Have a good time at salsa dancing , hope to here all about it tomorrow xx
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