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My first day of not betting  

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willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi this is my first day of not having a bet it's hard trying not to with the racing on the TV , I've decided to get out of the house and go for a walk and now I've just got to stay clear of the betting shops.my depression has hit me hard again I'm gone into myself again I can't see anyway out of the debt I've got from gambling I've maxed out two cards and used every penny I have got.ive been betting since I was 14 and I'm now 50 I've now got to stop because I will lose my family and I can't live without them if anyone has any suggestions on how to get through the day and days ahead please let me know your support will be of great help.

Regards William

 

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Posted : 15th May 2019 12:50 pm
Newme
(@newme)

Hi William.  Firstly thanks for sharing your story.  I am 34 myself and have had to come to a point in my life when like you if I don’t make a positive change I will lose everything good in my life.  I have only just started my journey and my advice to you would be to remember firstly your not alone what I mean by that is we are all here for the same reason.  Secondly it will be tough but think about those positives in your life you don’t want to lose, that was my problem I forgot about the most important things I have in my life they are the reasons I keep moving each day.  Lastly I would suggest keep posting I have only just begun to share my journey and I fell that it is helping me to express the feelings I’ve never shared with anyone until now.  Let me know if you feel any of these may support 

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Posted : 15th May 2019 9:45 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi thanks for your reply,I'm starting day two of not betting I'm finding it better to talk about it because it stops those little gremlins in my mind from telling me to go on have a bet you will pick a winner today and I might pick one, but I will be loosing in the long run I must stay strong and not go near a betting shop or the online stuff, I really appreciate all your help and support and by just posting it's helping me plant the seed in my mind to stay clear.

Regards William

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Posted : 16th May 2019 9:17 am
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

Keep going William.

It gets better.  It's tough, but it gets better. 

Keep visiting here and have a read through some posts.  Have a look at mine and see if they resonate with you and hopefully motivate you.  I'm not a finished article, but i'm taking great strength from others on here who are doing an amazing job.  we were all on week 1 once and we know how it feels.  keep talking to people who won;t judge and take their advice.  Get your blocks in place first and commit to never gambling again.

I'll keep an eye on your progress and i wish you all the best.

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Posted : 16th May 2019 4:19 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi thanks bdog for your support I've managed another day of not betting I've stayed clear of the betting shops and I feel good my family are also supporting me, my wife has my c*t up the credit cards although I've maxed them out  and has my debit card which I don't mind as she said when I want to buy something she will come with me and wait until I buy something then I've no temptation to go to the betting shops, I will follow all the great ideas on the site because I know you will all help.

Kind regards William

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Posted : 16th May 2019 6:21 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi all it's now day 3 of not betting I've thought about it today I don't know why but it seems to be on my mind today, my wife has took me out for a walk to some shops which I would never do especially when there is racing on TV, I've been to Primark,m&s,home bargains and we're not finished yet but if it stops me from gambling then I will do anything.

Kind regards William

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Posted : 17th May 2019 2:45 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi all I'm struggling today I can't stop thinking about having a bet I guess it's because of the Saturday factor I'm used to football, racing the whole lot, the good thing about it is I've no funds to go and have a bet because my wife has my debit card and my money. I can't believe how bad my head is one minute I'm contemplating having a bet then I'm telling myself to pack it in.

My wife has suggested that I start up my hobbie I used to do fishing that would keep my mind from gambling I think that would be a great idea.

Kind regards William

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Posted : 18th May 2019 1:06 pm
ALN
 ALN
(@aln)

Hi William,

Can fully appreciate that Saturday feeling. My normal Saturday consisted of 8am form guide and football game review, 9am morning line. 10am online Australian football games, 11.30am trip to bookies. 12.45pm to 5pm horses, greyhounds and football. 5.30pm return home for late night game. 9pm to 11pm foreign football. All of this with a partner and two young children at home. Just to advise I calculated my sport and betting activities took over 45hours per week.

My mental health was shot, my life was a mess, and suicide was next.

Thanks to the support of my Doctor, prior to the latter, and a number of discussions with my partner later, something clicked and the self destruction mode eased. I guess I was fortunate enough to obtain a semblance of sanity.

From that day I came clean with all of the debt, handed over all financial control, started with a weekly GA meeting, and more importantly gave up watching all professional sport. Not a thing. This managed all of the urges and in not watching sport meant that I was no longer interested in any results as it no longer mattered who won what.

I can't say that I don't miss it but I now appreciate what's more important in life to me (mental health and family), and live without it. I turn over channels on the TV and radio prior to sports news, I walk away from conversations about it, and do other things on a Saturday instead of it.

My Saturdays now look like, 8.30am music lesson with the kids, 9.45am drop the kids and the partner off  at band practice. Gym for myself. 11.15am bit of shopping with the partner and kids. 12.30pm Parents for dinner. 3pm swimming lessons with the little one. 5pm Family tea. Then settling down to the TV.

Gotta say Saturdays are enjoyable and a blessing and no thoughts of betting.

Not sure if you're at the same point in life as me but would really recommend it.

Wishing you all the best.

ALN

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Posted : 18th May 2019 6:35 pm
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

That’s impressive ALN.

Working my whole life in the sports industry and having to know about current affairs makes that impossible for me.

However, I no longer watch stuff that I don’t really have an interest in for betting purposes. Ask me this time a year ago and I’d know the ups and downs of all the football leagues in the world, the basketball spreads for the play offs and probably some other pointless odds on Eurovision, brexit and the quidditch World Cup.

Now all I know is the Premier League and that my team are s**t. 🙂

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Posted : 19th May 2019 10:10 am
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi all my family are helping me so much, they're making sure that I'm not sitting at home bored so I would have a look at the betting sites, they take me out places that before I would probably say no to going because I would rather be betting but now I'm going out with them which is a massive change for me all for the better.ive no bank cards or I don't have cash as my wife will keep my money and if I need anything she will get it for me.

Regards William

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Posted : 19th May 2019 5:26 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi all it's now day 6 and I've not had a bet, the thing is that I've thought about having a bet but there are 3 things stoping me firstly if I do I will lose my wife and family , I've no money and I've no cards, my wife has them all which is what I needed.

I've got £7500 worth of debt from 2 credit cards and a personal loan I'm now not able to repay these debt's because I was using one to pay the other one and visa versa I've now reached the limit on both cards.

I'm so worried about these debt's I can't get them out of my mind,my depression has really got me in a mess I've been thinking about suicide at least it will be all over no more worries I have the means of doing it as I'm a type 1 diabetic and I have plenty of fast acting insulin I've just got to take enough to do the job go to bed and I won't wake up in the morning

I'm really struggling with this.

Regards William

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Posted : 20th May 2019 12:51 pm
A 9
 A 9
(@alan-135)

Hi William :)). 

Firstly mate get those suicidal thought's out of your head as " It's only money " I'm not saying that flippantly because when I came here a while back I had those very same thought's until one kind forum member passed on some word's of advice which I'll pay forward to you now " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and that word " Temporary " just about sums it up really as thing's wont always be like this . 

Money can be re earn't over time and debt's can be repaid but they have to be repaid in a way that's not going to cause you bigger problems and again as I was once told by someone much wiser " Recoveries for life so why the rush " ? . 

I still have some debt thanks to gambling and me having no off switch but it a strange kinda way I find it quite comforting as it shows me how far I've come , that the debt is going down not up and also serves as a good reminder why I shouldn't go back to those dark times . 

I'm a type 2 diabetic by the way so for me unless I eat 15 crates of donuts I don't think I'd be as quick at it as you ? . 

Mate all jokes aside " It will get better " accept it for what it is and like myself your not a bad person we've just made a few wrong choices in life and that's not the end of the world , if your really struggling with this debt then speak with an advisor at Gamcare or maybe Stepchange or Debtcamel will give you free advice :)). 

Just don't let money cause you more worry than you need as it's just not worth it and I'm pretty certain that your family would rather have you around than not  all for the sake of a few quid .

Stay positive my friend as those feelings will improve with time and those days , weeks and months all take you further away from your last bet and into a much brighter future :)).

Alan   

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Posted : 20th May 2019 2:08 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

I echo the comments on money.

the debts can only be paid back with what you can afford, not a penny more.

 

hang in there, don’t gamble, it gets better.

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Posted : 20th May 2019 2:40 pm
willdoo69
(@willdoo69)

Hi thank you for your kind words and wisdom you are right in what you say, I just need to see some light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a massive shock to me what I've done now that I've realized it, I'm a stupid stupid person.

Thank you all for your help all your words are going in and when I read your messages it really helps me to feel that there is hope for me.

Kind regards William

 

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Posted : 20th May 2019 3:34 pm
bdog
 bdog
(@bdog)

Stupid people don’t realise they’ve made a mistake.

You’re a rationale person who has had a blip, recognised it and took action.

I often say keep moving forward/what’s done is done and other positive such things, but someone recently reminded me in another thread that we can ‘glance’ back at the past, but just ‘don’t stare’!

Holding a mirror to ourselves and reflecting is important in all walks of life, but recognising fault is hard and doing something about it is even harder. You’ve made the right choice - a clever choice.

Glance back for a reminder, but don’t stare and get bogged down. 

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Posted : 20th May 2019 4:01 pm
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