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My diary, my new life, my fightback  

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holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Day 170

Yesterday I was fine,loved the cricket,enjoyed it for what it is ,a great occasion. 

Stay focused, no gambling 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th August 2019 5:17 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Ok going to admit to last night, I managed to sign up to a well know betting exchange, don’t ask me why, luckily I did deposit and woke up to the account being closed, I was happy in truth.

 

im struggling as I have said , I know why, I’m panicking.

 

still gambling free but I’m fearing the worst.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th August 2019 10:31 am
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)

Hi Holycrosser,

sorry to see you are going through a rough patch.

remember - it’s never too late to confide in a partner, hand your finances over and give GA a chance.

i know it’s difficult, when debts mean you might have 4 really tough years ahead (possibly more in my case), but consider the alternative.

telling someone to their face that you are a compulsive is the hardest thing I’ve done, but the relief once I did was indescribable.

Good to see at least Gamstop seems to work for you - don’t test it too much though !

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th August 2019 12:17 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posted by: K2

Hi Holycrosser,

sorry to see you are going through a rough patch.

remember - it’s never too late to confide in a partner, hand your finances over and give GA a chance.

i know it’s difficult, when debts mean you might have 4 really tough years ahead (possibly more in my case), but consider the alternative.

telling someone to their face that you are a compulsive is the hardest thing I’ve done, but the relief once I did was indescribable.

Good to see at least Gamstop seems to work for you - don’t test it too much though !

 

Thanks for the support, just to clarify I DIDNT deposit to the account.

 

it is a struggle these last few days, it’s this large bill coming up in October, it’s going to knock me back and I dunno if I can scrape the money together.

 

as for telling my partner, now wife, that’s off the table and always has been.

 

i know I can hold out here, just need to keep believing 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th August 2019 1:04 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Day 171.

holding it together, deep breath and remember the pain .

 

no gambling today

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27th August 2019 11:43 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Made it through the day, urges were strong .

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Posted : 27th August 2019 6:54 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Day 172 begins.

Lots to do at work,new drive getting done today , should keep me occupied. Gone a bit calmer now,worst is over for now. 

I will make this past 200

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th August 2019 6:24 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Had enough of it all

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th August 2019 8:20 pm
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)

Hi Holycrosser,

You ok ?

Ken

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th August 2019 8:44 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

at the point of giving it all up.

 

5 months of trying to beat this , I cannot gamble online thank god but I’m at the point of giving in to this urge, I’m ok right now but tomorrow I feel like I’ve wasted my time .

 

argggghhh...need to get this out my head as right now I just want to go for it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th August 2019 9:31 pm
MissP
(@missp)

Hi  Holycrosser, I am 6 days gamble free. I have sat here tonight and read soooo many of your posts ... It’s been inspirational and it made me smile that you seemed to be getting your life back on track. I feel so happy for you.

I keep thinking I can’t wait until I can get to 3/4/5 months gamble free. 

Please don’t give in to the temptation, I honestly think you’ll kick yourself if you gamble again. 

And how good will you feel when in a few days you’re posting that despite having the urges, you didn’t give in...

Looking forward to your post tomorrow. 

Don’t let yourself down 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th August 2019 10:11 pm
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posted by: holycrosser

at the point of giving it all up.

 

5 months of trying to beat this , I cannot gamble online thank god but I’m at the point of giving in to this urge, I’m ok right now but tomorrow I feel like I’ve wasted my time .

 

argggghhh...need to get this out my head as right now I just want to go for it.

Sorry to hear that mate.

 

What's the trigger ?  Money, work or family ?

You just need to tell yourself that gambling ain't going to help the situation one bit.

If you need get away from all your problems for a couple of hours rather than doing you brains in a bookies, go to the gym or go for a run until your are exhausted.

 

Just keeping walking up and say to yourself "just for today, I will not gamble".

And get through another day.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th August 2019 10:42 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)

Day 173.

The recent urges lead me to take a bit of time off work, I need to get out and get back to basics.

all my blocks are in place, the revulsion I feel of bookies stops me from entering so I’m hoping I do not give in to betting urges, these last few days have been a struggle to get through, I’m drinking more so that needs to stop.

Thank you for the support above, I’ve resisted so far, it’s a road I hope I never go down.

Trigger is an unexpected bill, always was one of the things that set me off, it’s a big bill.

Look I’m going to just try and keep fighting, I haven’t placed a bet since March and I promised not 1p would I waste again, there’s no return if I do.

im trying.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th August 2019 1:27 pm
Stephen The Virtuous
(@stephen-the-virtuous)

Stay strong holycrosser. I see you climbing that mountain and I am inspired.

145 days behind you and there is no way I am ever going back to that gambling nightmare.

Best wishes 

Stephen

 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th August 2019 1:35 pm
MissP
(@missp)

173 days - fantastic achievement!!! 

Stay strong 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th August 2019 3:23 pm
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