My diary, my new life, my fightback

Great work, 

Keep the strength up

Start of another working week.all debts and spare money just about spent now. Countdown to pay day on.

Day 99 begins , stay focused , browsed gambling sites last night dont know why I did that but thankfully nothing came of it.need to get back to the 7pm rule of no internet 

Well done on will power and tomorrow you will be 100.  I will be 4 so people like you inspire.  I have gamstop which has helped as every main site has their emblem.  It’s a godsend for me.  I go on group chats at 8pm.  Perhaps go there if you find yourself online.  Inspirational so well done ? 

Posted by: Sarah1976

Well done on will power and tomorrow you will be 100.  I will be 4 so people like you inspire.  I have gamstop which has helped as every main site has their emblem.  It’s a godsend for me.  I go on group chats at 8pm.  Perhaps go there if you find yourself online.  Inspirational so well done ? 

Thanks for the support, I thin’ I just need to keep off web browsing, I can’t sign up even if I wanted to, it’s absolute habit that I looked and if I introduce my internet ban again it won’t be an issue.

nothing now after 7pm, I will do this.

Hi

I use to be completely consumed by my addictions and my obsessions.

In time I would identify that gambling was a way of me escaping how I felt people life and situtions.

By attending meets I would relate to other people experences both healthy and unhealthy. 

I use to say that I wanted to be normal, yet over time I would understand that the refence normal is not very healthy.

I am  often why I attend meetings if I have not gambled for some time.

My answer is that by attending meetings I become more and more healthy.

I am a non religious and understand that any one can heal if they put lots of time and effort in to their reecovery.

My addictions and my obsessions indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.

Over time I would heal my hurt inner child.

Over time I would no longer want to escape my feeelings and my emotions people life and situations.

I am more stable than ever efore.

Who I am  in the meetings today is the same peron who faces all situations in my life today.

I no longer want to go against my own conscience and against spirtual values.

I no longer want people to fear or mistrust me any more.

Love and peace to evey one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

99 days completed gambling free.

Today is day 100, a nice milestone but only the beginning in truth, it's just numbers but it keeps me on track.

Things I've learnt.

Gambling, I still miss it.

Gambling, you never ever win.

Addiction is real, I will always be a GA, you never beat this.

I'm stronger than I thought.

When I HAVE to do this, I can.

Money is precious and wasting it was stupid and selfish.

I'm calmer but always close to crisis. 

I'm not alone, theres thousands just like me.

This  forum keeps me focused 

Life gets better

To be always on my guard as this tries to sneak up on me again.

Day 100, today I wont gamble.

Hi Holy 🙂 

Just stopped of to say congratulations on reaching your milestone of a 100 day's , it's not easy mate I know but the only way is to keep pushing on but give yourself a big pat on the back for what you've achieved so far   :)) 

Welcome to the " Century club " my friend and all the best going forward :)) 

Best wishes 

Alan 

Dear @holycrosser ,

a huge well done on your 100 days, it is a milestone and it should be celebrated. Thank you very much for sharing what you've learned so far. It is still fairly early days, so you will see as time goes you will miss gambling less and less. And the more you settle in to the feeling of calm (because there are no constant fires to be put out caused by gambling) you will find you will move further and further away from any possible crisis. 

Life does get better and it will continue to get better every day.

Keep posting and sharing and reaching out when things are tough.

Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery,

Eva

Forum Admin

Thanks Alan and Eva.

This site make no mistake about it has helped me massively to the point I don’t think i’d have kept at it, the encouragement and kind words mean everything, to see others struggling with this is painful yet makes me understand this is an illness.

again, thank you all and keep supporting each other because you have all possibly saved me from oblivion, I won’t let myself or yous all down.

been a chilled busy day today .

Hi

It is a healthy habit to nurture and encourage people towards healthy habits.

The wording you have to or I have to is obsessive thinking.

The recovery program I find today I both need and want it.

The recovery program helped me understand each of my emotional triggers and to change those unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.

I am a non religious person.

I am a much healthier person today.

The recovery program helped me understand that my addictions and obsessions were a form of self abuse.

The recovery program helped me understand that my addictions and obsessions were a form of fear and escape from people life and situations.

The recovery program helped me understand that today I can live a much healhier life.

Your success gives me pleasure.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Congratulations holycrosser on 100 days gamble free.

I respect and admire the courage, common sense and determination you have shown. Excellent qualities which will be a great asset to you in stopping gambling and also in everyday life

I wish you every happiness as you continue on your journey.

Stephen 

Yes well done HC I am not far behind you and will soon hit the century too.

I know you also do encourage and support others, which can only help your own recovery As you say this is only the beginning so keep up the good work.

Morning.thank you all for kind words above 

Day 101 begins, not gambling really does calm me.

Day 103 begins.

Going to a music festival today.no racing, no gambling.nothing.

Didn't get the promotion at work I went for but not a blow tbh, I love my current job.got first payment money sorted for my tax bill.

Married in one weeks time

Day 104 , 

extremely drunk yesterday but had a lush day with OH and friends,

i love being normal, bit skint now and pay day thankfully looms, oh and 6 days till my wedding.