My recovery diary

Slightly frustrated i wrote exactly how im feeling and how gambling recovery is going.

I type a really long post out but it froze i refreshed it and i lost what i was writing 

I will try again tomorrow ive felt triggered tonight and just wanted to jump onto a gambling site. Of course i didnt,i know the logical reasons for why i dont want to gamble but it still doesnt make the wish to be able to at a time of being triggered.

Lou x

125 days gamble free..

Still having moments of feeling a bit jittery...but remain gamble free. Struggled a bit earlier but went on chat which has helped

Lou x 

Day 129..finding today very hard..feeling sad and alone which doesnt help. Ive tried to distract myself with some e learning for work this afternoon, it just doesnt seen to get easier.

Loux

You are a star in my eyes Lou.

Congratulations and respect for your excellent progress in recovery.

A big thank you also for continuing to inspire me with your courage.

Best wishes

Aum x 

Not today im not Aum but thankyou. 

Todays been really hard to deal with luckily being in work next few days will keep me busy. Ive had a wobble today i havent gambled just struggled. Also found an old scratchcard on my floor least off worries compared to how i problem gambled but it just wasnt a great reminder.

Im glad to see a couple of other people take up the gamechange  course with gamcare..i really wish everyone well. 

I hope i dont ruin new peoples hope when i say i still struggle at this many days.. it is easier not to act on the urges but the thoughts still appear.

Im in a better place than when i was gambling i can at least pay my bills im working and paying off debt if i had carried on i would have lost everything.

Lou x

Its tiring battling through everyday and on top staying gamble free..carryng on going to work..trying to be okay

Im just so exhausted tonight physically and mentally,  cant sleep headache..just drained. 

Sorry you are finding things difficult just now Lou.

I have enormous respect and am inspired by your courage. Despite working in a traumatic environment at the hospital you are also having to cope with mental health issues and recovery from gambling addiction.

I know for a fact that I would struggle greatly if I had to live with the challenges you are faced with on a daily basis and admire your resilience.

Sending you my respect and a big hug.

Aum x x x 

Not feeling 100% but up and ready for work..at least work is a busy distraction

I had a blood test few days ago which the results got back could explain why im so exhausted ive been blaming it all on poor mental health or simply just being 'lazy'.

Had urges the beginning of the week with how i feeling not been handling it well at all but ive not gambled. Week off work soon i really need to spend that week trying to look after myself for once

Lou x

Yes, you've gotta think of No.1 Lou - and that's YOU.   Your blood tests have given you the facts; you're not up to par and need to get better.  So make the most of this recuperation period as we all look forward to getting you back to 100% 🙂 🙂 🙂 

Hi Lou 

Thanks for visiting my diary and leaving me a message its much appreciated.

Hope your ok and looking forward to the time off for a rest. 
Take care 

Holly 

Hey Lou, I hope Sunday's treating you well. Toodle-oo Lou ?

Just an update i want to say i am sorry i am not in a place to offer advice or support or even just have a freindly chat right now.

Although i do wish everyone well in their recovery.

Lou x 

Thinking of you Lou and sending my best wishes.

Be gentle, kind and compassionate to yourself because you are a wonderful lady who is loved and respected by others, including myself.

Aum x 

Im tired, 

Gambling thoughts increasing along with other dark thoughts i just cant cope..i feel like giving up revovery because i cant do it anymore

Lou 

Hey Lou, I'm sorry to read you're finding things not so easy right now.  Thinking of you here; remember you're doing well, so well.  Even if you can't see it 🙂