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Lou x
(@lou-x)

Thankyou charlieboy 

Lou x

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Posted : 9th January 2021 12:47 pm
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)

Good to see you in the chatroom Lou. I will be in there again tomorrow for a natter with friends in recovery.

It is sad seeing new people arriving at Gamcare who have been traumatised by gambling but it is good seeing friends rediscovering themselves and rebuilding their lives.

These are strange times. My thoughts are with people like yourself who are on the frontline and I am very proud of you. I feel guilty being retired and not having to work through it all.

 

Best wishes.

Aum x 

 

 

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Posted : 9th January 2021 9:14 pm
Tommyt124
(@tommyt124)

Hi lou thanks for sharing your story even though our stories are all different they are also very simular I've really enjoyed spending last 10 mins reading your story amd it had helped me tonight good luck on your journey 

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Posted : 9th January 2021 9:31 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

@Tommyt124 thankyou for reading through my story im glad it has helped, wishing you well in yoyr recovery. Everyones journeys are different but we often can relate  in some ways 

Thankyou aum no need to feel guilty im sure you have done your bit in society x

Lou xx 

 

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Posted : 9th January 2021 9:49 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Feeling triggered tonight after hearing amount someone won through gambling.

Its not so much about the money but it was a lot which is a trigger, maybe the buzz i imagine they would have felt building that. Of course i know full well the bad effects problem gambling caused to me and it causes more loss even after winning i would have got more impulsive increasing the bets for the buzz untill i lost it all. I have no intention to gamble tonight.

However lately with sorting finances and having more money and wanting to build a pot to pay off debts its become more triggering. I have gamstop and i am paying debts off. I miss the buzz, excitement, the escape. But i dont miss the pain gambling caused and the effects that still linger

Im trying to control so much my finances i got to the point where i want to have a perfect credit score..maybe its just sonething ive switched my attention and focus too but even thats consuming me more than it should.

Loulou x

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Posted : 9th January 2021 11:50 pm
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)

Great post Lou. It definitely resonates with me because I was also affected by the claims of a big win and the fact it was than lost didn't stop me thinking about it.

It also made me feel like I was in the wrong place because I have never been involved with such large amounts on a daily basis.

Should it recur than I will just vacate the chatroom.

 

I am also over thinking finances which is really annoying. Everything is on target with debt repayment and due to the lockdown I have saved a few pounds but I keep thinking about it. Totally unnecessary so I am trying to change my way of thinking and repeating my mantras.

Good news is I am still several months without a bet so that is good.

 

Love and best wishes.

Stephen x 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Aum
ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th January 2021 2:26 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi both, compulsive gambling is not about the money....although obviously loss of money is important.....it's the compulsive repetitive behaviour and the other things that go with it...secrets,lies,deception etc. It's almost like a competition...who's lost the most....I've no idea how much I've lost to be truthful I don't want to know. The main thing is im not gambling any more and neither are you 2 is it easy?..no. Is it worth it?...yes . Stay strong both of you and take care xxx

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Posted : 10th January 2021 3:47 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Thankyou both for your replies i agree with you both and aum i can relate to a lot of what you said 

Lou x

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Posted : 10th January 2021 9:12 pm
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)

Hello Lou.

Hope you are keeping well and not suffering any bad reaction to your COVID vaccine jab. Was worrying about you today after reading an article in the news by a nurse who works on a covid ward. It was a heartbreaking story that helped me appreciate just how challenging hospital work must be.

Congratulations on your excellent progress as you approach 100 days GF.

 

Proud of you Lou.

Aum x 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Aum
ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th January 2021 11:21 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Yes nearly reached the 100 day mark

Thankyou Stephen, The covid vaccine was fine, nothing to worry about.  

Thanks for your post and support

Lou x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th January 2021 11:56 pm
captain46
(@captain46)

Hi Lou 

thanks for the post on my diary, well done on approaching 100 days. I don’t know what you used to gamble on, if you share then I can maybe add my experiences if relevant. 

Sorry to hear that your work can be challenging depending who you are working with, if you expand on type of people I can perhaps suggest ideas on how best to deal with them.

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Posted : 13th January 2021 7:20 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Feeling anxious tonight i have 10 days off work now. I have things to sort out which i want to in the same way i have my gambling so far but i am just feeling overwhelmed.

@captain46 I gambled online started as the odd horse racing bet..lead to further betting then i got hooked on blackjack then it led to bingo/ slots anything and everything when i got desperste until the point i continued loosing and get further credit then ending in a mess not being able to afford rent and in lots of debt it just spiralled out of control when i was winning i was putting down bigger stakes then when i was loosing i was chasing. I got gamstop then made mistake of waiting for time period to end to gamble again 'sensibly' which obvious i know now isnt possible for a problem gambler and relapsed.. 

I have managed to get a credit card with a very small limit to pay back in full each month to start building my credit score i wouldnt recommend anyone getting credit as can be triggering but i have got the lowest least harmful amount and i am not seeing it as 'credit' i will just use it for petrol and pay full amount back its something more constructive and positive for me to focus on paying off debts and building my financial self back up.

Saturday i will be 100 days gamble free its not been easy and without having gamstop id be likely to relapse i dont even try knowing i have gamstop.

I am trying to change for the better when you get stuck in such a rut..change can be scary and overwhelming, but if you dont try you dont get anywhere.

Lou x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2021 12:06 am
captain46
(@captain46)

Many congrats on reaching 100 days Lou and glad to hear Gamstop is working for you. My own compulsive gambling started many years ago before there was online available. Online then made it easier but either way just ended up that the more I earned the more I lost.

Well done re getting the credit card, got to start again from somewhere. For your 10 days off I'd recommend having a plan of things you are going to do, keep yourself busy, do a combination of constructive and enjoyable things for you. But at the same time dont feel you cannot have some time just thinking, not doing much, meditating, reflecting, listening to music perhaps. Give yourself a big pat on the back for how far you have come. You have done 100 days, your old life is in the past, your new life has begun, the new Lou with so much to look forward to, so many good times ahead and to be able to enjoy without being consumed by gambling.

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Posted : 16th January 2021 2:13 pm
Lou x
(@lou-x)

100 days gamble free today.

To stop gambling you have to want to stop and be commited.

I still get triggered and have urges at times but i have gamstop and just try to remember that its not worth the pain.

Lou x

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Posted : 16th January 2021 2:21 pm
Bal
 Bal
(@bal)

Many congratulations Lou x

Best

 

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Posted : 16th January 2021 6:01 pm
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