My recovery diary

Im just not much good as a support to others right now as part of me feels like just giving up with my own recovery and everything that i had fought so hard not to do.

Im tired.

Lou x

Lou, don't put added pressure on yourself. Everyone knows that you care about people's recovery. You just take care of yourself, post so people know how you're feeling and can give support. One day how you feel will change then you will gain the strength to help others. Don't beat yourself up , top of your list of people to help should be YOU. Take care

You matter, Lou. I hope your feelings become more manageable soon. Do whatever it takes, talk to the Samaritans, whatever you gotta do x

Thankyou Charlieboy and freda for your support,hope your both well 

Loux

Been struggling mentally for the last week or 2..urges increased not just for gambling but other things too maybe to control how feeling. Sought help for that but now feeling physically run down and not well 

Give me a break.

Lou x

Hope things ease up for you soon lou, you've been feeling rotten for far too long now. xxx

Hi Lou hope you are feeling a little better today 

Hi Lou,

Well done on your gamble free days so far your doing amazing with that.

I first joined a couple of weeks ago and joined the Chatroom one evening where you where in chat about your struggles of late. I really hope your feeling better soon and overcome it. You have put it so much effort with your recovery and your debt management plan to let all that go down the drain.

You have a very good support network here, know that people care and want to support you through this difficult patch 

Take care 

Thankyou all for the messages on my diary,

Feeling rough today on antibiotics for a chest infection hopefully thry will kick in soon. Just feel run down atm.

Keep feeling like i miss gambling at times too

Lou x

Feeling really restless this morning off work and just feel restless and its making me agitated  which then brings on the itch to gamble tried to maybe watch something on my phone but i dont concentreate just rolling all over frustrated. Dont feel well enough to get up just so restless.

Hope your feeling better soon Lou and that your antibiotics kick in soon. Maybe try and read a book and keep your self busy or find a good series. I've found myself starting new series lately and because I like to binge them it take hours of the days away when I'm not working.

 

Hey Lou!  I hope your infection is receding and that you're getting back to par.   

Here's an idea for you if you are a bookworm, like me.  I really enjoy looking at amazon.co.uk, searching for Books, and then the "Lowest to Highest" price. I then look at any book priced under £2 (the range is amazing) and buy a couple, every few days or so (ave. price £1 each). Delivery's free so it's genuinely a really cheap way of looking forward to a few books to read.

Only problem is I now have hundreds of books 😀 but I'll pass most of these to the charity shops, but point is, I've been absorbed by them at the time and it didn't cost me much. 

I even buy books that I wouldn't normally buy, just to learn or read something out of my comfort/familiarity zone.  At £1 a book delivered you can't go wrong 🙂 

Just an idea. Meantime, take care Lou and I hope you have a pleasant day.

Im getting overwhelmed tonight with 'money'. I have noone to control my finances not that i would want anyone too. I am staying paying the debts off but finding myself with access to more money i wouldnt say its triggering gambling urges,just more that i am actually overwhelmed in a bad way in terms of how to spend pay debt save what to do etc. Im just use to living in a mess and struggling to get by ive tried tidy bit my flat today thats also overwhelming then simple things such as should i get a new this or that how much should i spend..should i shouldnt i. 

It was easier when i didnt have the choice and just about scrapped rent months post gambling

Lou x

Hi Lou,

It's understandable as i feel ur used to punnishing yourself financially.  As this year you pay your debt of it brings new possibilities for yourself.  As someone said earlier i think roch you can use more self care for yourself thru doing your flat up, buying nice things to add to it, buying some clothes, films, a tv, coffee maker etc whatever floats ur boat.  No more living on weetabix and cereal u can enjoy steaks and takeaways......  Whatever flots your boat.....

U can either enjoy the fruits of ur labour or continue (well go back to) punnishing yourself.  Your decision.

Hope this helps.

Ill always be on chat, i may not always say the right thing but im trying to give you the right advise.

Adam xxxx

Thabks adam for reply

Just not used to spending money sensibly or on myself..then since stopping gambling ive not known how to spend it or felt overwhelmed over simple decisions. Like one person said earlier one small item in a shop with different types etc can be overwhming with choices/ decisions as being use to scrimping by