Hi All,
So I'm pretty new to this forum, only been here just under a couple of weeks but I wanted to keep a little diary of my story. Reading other peoples progress and diaries as really made me motivated and pushed me to sort my life out. So a massive well done to everyone who is on here and making progress with such a supportive community.
You are really helping people and I'm hoping I can do the same to other people.
I've suffered with a gambling problem for a couple of years and I nearly lost everyone. I got my self In to a little bit of debt and always denied I had a problem. It calmed down and I managed to pay everything back I owed but then I went down a slippery slope where I was going from spending 200-600 in a couple of days. It was heartbreaking.
I finally admitted to my family and my partner who are very supportive, I didnt expect that and was scared to open up. I listened and finally realised I needed help with my problem.
I called Gamcare, the person I spoke with was very nice and supportive, I finally felt some weight had been lifted. I then started my counselling sessions. The woman is very nice, I was so scared to begin with.
This point I had my card froze for gambling transactions and Gamban. I managed 24 days GF. I felt amazing, so proud.
I then had a downfall, no idea what I was thinking at the time because the gambling was still pretty fresh in my head and all I could think is I just want to gamble. I had lost so much money and i though maybe because i havent been on the site for a while, I may get lucky. Wasn't correct!
I spoke with my counsellor, and all i did was cry, was so emotional. I felt like I'd let my self down completely and ashamed. I was ashamed to come back on the forum after admitting I had gone my first 24 days. My counsellor told me to get straight back on, as this was best time to speak with other people.
I then signed up to 5 years of GAMSTOP and it feels great. I recieved emails through saying accounts had been closed etc and even more weight had lifted.
I will always feel ashamed of what I've done and how much money I lost due to these sites but the start of my recovery journey and the start of making a better life for myself.
Hit my first week again of GF!
Just also like to thank everyone who has shared stories, it's really motivated me to become a better person and how supportive this group is.
Kay ?
Hi kay
Whish ing you well on your journey.
Hi Chezzy
Thank you for clicking on my story and thank you, really is appreciated on your comment .
?
Hi Kay,
You may well be ashamed of the past but you should be proud of the positive steps you've taken in putting blocks in place and reaching out for support.
Best Wishes
AL
Hi slowlearner
Thank you for comment, I'm just so thankful to be part of this community. You're all so very kind.
I do feel a lot better than I did, even more better that I now know the past is behind and I can look forward to my recovery.
Hope you're safe and well slow Learner
Kay?
Dearest Kay
Just let me say
Please take it easy day by day
Treat your self with kindness for you never meant no harm
Look forward and forget the past while staying cool and calm
Best wishes
From
Stephen x
So, week 2. I've hit my 2 week GF Goal, so happy with myself so far. It's been hard but I've kept myself busy and I feel so much better about myself. Starting to sort Christmas out and buy gifts and it feels so good not wasting my money on gaming websites.
Here's to reaching goal 3.. week 3. I can do this.
Hi Kay,
Thank you for sharing your journey so far with the Forum. It sounds like you are doing a great job and congratulations on 2 weeks gamble free.
I can see that you are seeing the benefits already by starting to buy gifts for Christmas, this is great news.
Well done!
Rebecca
Forum Admin
Week 3 GF
21 days I've been Gamble free and I feel so proud and happy with my self. The temptation is finally starting to leave my mind and I havent really thought about gambling. My life is slowly starting to get back on track and I feel so much weight has been lifted.
So Happy.
If it wasnt for the support of you amazing members, the stops I put in place, my supportive boyfriend pushing me to get help and Gamcare support I wouldnt have got where I am at this minute. So thank you all
Here's to week 4! I can do this
Hi Kay , yes you can !! Keep guard up blocks in place. Be completely transparent about how you are feeling talk through any issues, keeping secrets feeds our addiction. You're doing good, stay strong and reap the benefits of being gamble free
Week 4 GF!
I am so proud of my self. It's such an amazing feeling knowing I have got this far so far.
Here's to a brilliant christmas as I know I will have a great one this time for first time in years.
Here's to week 5. I can 100% do this.
Amazing acheivement well done xxx
Thank you Lou xxxx
I'm sorry, what do you mean?
I've done it! I've reached my 5 week GF!
Not thought once about, those images are going away and I'm not really thinking about it.
Only thing I can say is when I hear an ad on the radio promoting these gambling websites, make my stomach turn and makes me feel so bad from what I did 5 weeks ago,
Hopefully this will soon go and I wont feel like this when I hear or see any ads on TV.
As I post every Sunday, I Hope you all have a wonderful christmas and hope all the best for everyones recovery in 2021.
Kay x
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