So I'm pretty new to this forum, only been here just under a couple of weeks but I wanted to keep a little diary of my story. Reading other peoples progress and diaries as really made me motivated and pushed me to sort my life out. So a massive well done to everyone who is on here and making progress with such a supportive community.
You are really helping people and I'm hoping I can do the same to other people.
I've suffered with a gambling problem for a couple of years and I nearly lost everyone. I got my self In to a little bit of debt and always denied I had a problem. It calmed down and I managed to pay everything back I owed but then I went down a slippery slope where I was going from spending 200-600 in a couple of days. It was heartbreaking.
I finally admitted to my family and my partner who are very supportive, I didnt expect that and was scared to open up. I listened and finally realised I needed help with my problem.
I called Gamcare, the person I spoke with was very nice and supportive, I finally felt some weight had been lifted. I then started my counselling sessions. The woman is very nice, I was so scared to begin with.
This point I had my card froze for gambling transactions and Gamban. I managed 24 days GF. I felt amazing, so proud.
I then had a downfall, no idea what I was thinking at the time because the gambling was still pretty fresh in my head and all I could think is I just want to gamble. I had lost so much money and i though maybe because i havent been on the site for a while, I may get lucky. Wasn't correct!
I spoke with my counsellor, and all i did was cry, was so emotional. I felt like I'd let my self down completely and ashamed. I was ashamed to come back on the forum after admitting I had gone my first 24 days. My counsellor told me to get straight back on, as this was best time to speak with other people.
I then signed up to 5 years of GAMSTOP and it feels great. I recieved emails through saying accounts had been closed etc and even more weight had lifted.
I will always feel ashamed of what I've done and how much money I lost due to these sites but the start of my recovery journey and the start of making a better life for myself.
Hit my first week again of GF!
Just also like to thank everyone who has shared stories, it's really motivated me to become a better person and how supportive this group is.
Just let me say
Please take it easy day by day
Treat your self with kindness for you never meant no harm
Look forward and forget the past while staying cool and calm