Monday’s are the hard ones....

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(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

so today is payday. Monday would normally consist of me waking early and sitting until husband is up with various gambling sites rolling on my phone. 

Today I am up and it hasn’t happened yet. Every thought in my head is screaming to gamble, I actually feel jittery and anxious because I feel the urge. 

I must not let this beat me. 

 

Last night i apologised for the the first time to my husband because up until now I have believed that he was wrong for not accepting my obsessive and compulsive ways. I have finally come to realise that my behaviour is not “normal” ( I hate that word ) and that I must find the strength to be honest and abstain. 

 

One day at a time is all I can offer right now x

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 8:57 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posts: 859
 

You must ban yourself from all sites , remove the temptation all together.

you need to do that now

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 11:23 am
MD
 MD
(@x-m)
Posts: 179
 
Posted by: Brittone05

so today is payday. Monday would normally consist of me waking early and sitting until husband is up with various gambling sites rolling on my phone. 

Today I am up and it hasn’t happened yet. Every thought in my head is screaming to gamble, I actually feel jittery and anxious because I feel the urge. 

I must not let this beat me. 

 

Last night i apologised for the the first time to my husband because up until now I have believed that he was wrong for not accepting my obsessive and compulsive ways. I have finally come to realise that my behaviour is not “normal” ( I hate that word ) and that I must find the strength to be honest and abstain. 

 

One day at a time is all I can offer right now x

I installed gamban and I have been tempted like crazy to bet but I have found that although I would try, I can't get on and eventually the temptation temporarily goes. Try installing some software that will block gambling sites. 

 

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 11:34 am
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posts: 859
 

Gamban is a fantastic way of blocking you from online gambling, one simple email does it assuming you want to

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 11:40 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

I shall be installing the today and shall be reaching out to my GP and gamcare also. I can do this. 

I have slowly began admitting to myself and my husband how bad this actually is. 

Really appreciate finding a safe place where there is no judgement, only quiet understanding x

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 1:10 pm
holycrosser
(@holycrosser)
Posts: 859
 

Keep posting , it really helps, I get inspired by others and you can put total honesty on here ok., good luck

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 1:50 pm
Stopping123
(@stopping123)
Posts: 112
 

Would defo recommend gamban that has been a life saver for me. You can get through this, first weeks always hard but it’ll get easier, think about the fun times ahead in the summer with your partner! 

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 8:35 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

So more honesty for my husband. He tried to suggest that he should manage all the bank etc and that my clients who pay cash should be my money. I have denied this option and implicitly told him that I do not wish to be or feel

in control enough to be responsible for any money at all. He was shocked but I hope it has shown him how determined I am. 

 

Distraction today included painting the bathroom and bleaching all my skirting boards and bannisters. Any distraction is a good one I guess xx

 
Posted : 15th April 2019 11:29 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Early days are the hardest but as you rack the days up the confidence will build. Its ok to learn to hate the places that allowed you to get into this obsession . I used to walk past betting shops and force myself to silently curse them Lol and it helped . Keep your guard up the war is never over but keep winning the battles . John.

 
Posted : 16th April 2019 8:58 am

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