It's been about 7 weeks since I opened up to my mum and dad about my addiction. They helped me out if my financial difficulty and I'm eternally grateful for that. I don't like that they did as it was my mess but it has changed me for the better.
I am having no urges to gamble, I can walk passed bookies and not care. I am enjoying work again instead of hating it and always being negative. I am making sure I look after my self and put my self first at work and by doing everything in my power to work hard and earn the most I can to help with the application for buying our family home.
There's too much trying to f**k over others at my work that I just do what I need to and pass the buck to the person who needs to deal with the issue or us paid to deal with it and make sure my a*s is covered so I go t get involved in the petty c**P of others.
I'm all about trying to be positive, happy, go the extra mile when possible. Then leave it at work and go home and be happy and positive in family life. I am enjoying not hiding secrets of money issues from my partner, not feeling anxious all the time waiting for her to ask my questions I don't Wana answer.
It's been 3months since I last gambled and the last 7 weeks have been some of the hardest but happiest I've been in a long time. And if we get accepted for the house in January I know that life is really becoming what I wished it was for a long time. A hard but small cry for help has led to huge giant leaps and bounds in life and I'm glad I broke people's trust to make the positive changes happen and start to win back their trust.
Well done for getting it back together.Just a reality check though , dont ever think you are free and cured,this will stay with you for life ok,like an alcoholic you are an addict so be on your guard always .
Through my own experience it can creep back in from nowhere and then the cycle begins.
I envy you, good luck and never ever gamble again.
Thanks for the kind words and of course I will never ever forget how easy it is let my guard down and fall back in to the trap it's happened before I went over 6months and let slip once and had a good win, went back another good win then suddenly it went wrong. I'm just determined to try stay positive as I've been given a huge reality check that everyone around me told me I'm always moaning and negative. As well as angry at the world. Not a nice thing to be told that ppl are fed up being around me. So it's time to change
Yes thats good and my best advice is keep talking it through with people close. Talk about your blocks and possible trigger points.
I was born again and humble to it. Its a fear, respect and humility for the sheer power controlling me. I knew how to make the addiction history but I looked upon it as an adversary which demanded my respect and the learning to deal with it. I have never been complacent again about it.
I had to analyse who I am to the core of my soul because I was primarily an escape gambler
It really would be best if someone else controlled your money as your mind heals.
Its a horrendous addiction that gets into our bones, our very being. Ive studied it and it is in effect a drug addiction. The triggers are complex and its waiting to get back and blindside you from nowhere
You need to be very aware that it can even trigger back up when you feel happy content or everything is going well...along the lines of what can harm me now
I know it fades away but I could always be vunerable in the wrong set of circumstances or triggers. Bad news, depression or stress would not be good for me if I was say in a motorway service station miles from home. I discuss situations like that and test if scenarios could be an issue. I use that information in a very positive way and preventative measures are in place
Dont get me wrong as its not really a fight now. My mind is crystal clear that gambling offers me no benefits.
Best wishes to everyone on the forum