Life Without Gambling

Well done on getting to 13 days gamble free I’ve only started tonight lost £1,000 earlier on slots at bingo hall then on the way out asked them to self exclude me x

@spendspendspend Thanks. You can do this?

@davido0103 thank you and you x

17 days GF

Feeling positive and generally alot calmer/not as anxious due to not gambling. Still think about the money lost and the hole which I am in but must move forward. 

Thought this week would be really tough due to Cheltenham but I have coped okay.

Occassionally still checking prices and watching football games on betting websites, not sure if this is a good or bad thing. 

Busy weekend ahead which is good as weekends were always my biggest days from a gambling perspective.

Have a good weekend everyone.

@davido0103 

Hi

Well done on 17 days GF.

You are feeling positive and generally a lot calmer that is very powerful.

It took me along time to exchange my anxiety and fears in to being calmer .

I use to blame every one else for me being so filled with m fears.

For me think about my money lost was not very healthy for me.

That big hole which I made for myself in time will be filled and forgotten.

In time I will for give myself and heal my pains.

It was important for me to get even more focused on my needs wants and my goals and motivated during Cheltenham week.

For me checking odds was not helping my recovery or healthy for me.

It is healthy to have busy weekends and to stay focused on healthy challenges.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Thanks Dave.

20 days GF. 

Feels alot longer to be fair. Last week was Cheltenham, would normally gamble quite a bit. Felt good being able to watch some of the races with no pressure attached. 

Had a really busy weekend with the family which was good. This needs to happen most weekends as I was notorious for sitting in front of that TV/laptop drinking beer and gambling to all hours !!!

Still feel down at times however have to be thankful for what I have which is a loving family and a roof over my head.

On we go?

@davido0103 

Hi

Every day is a bonus day for me.

That is great 20 days free from your unhealthy addiction.

Intime I gave up watching or listening to things that use to consume my life and my thinking.

I use to cause myself so much pain fear and stress in the old unhealthy days.

That was healthy spending the weekend with our family.

For me sitting in front of that TV helped me relax.

I do have an occasional drink in our home.

I try to avoid getting drunk, that is not healthy for me or my body.

A person can feel down some of the times.

But feeling guilty shameful and disconnected was not very healthy for me.

For me to be grateful appreciative thankful means I have healthy values in my life today.

I use to be so disconnected from myself and other people.

The distance to my last bet gets longer, the connection I have with myself today and my family gets greater.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Thanks for your words Dave and your insight.

27 days GF.

Had another super busy weekend which took my mind firmly away from sport/gambling.

The days are definitely getting easier even though I am struggling financially and feel stressed about it.

I should be in a much better position in a couple months time and by that time will be closing in on 100 days GF.

Dave

28 days GF.

Made it to 4 weeks without a bet. Very happy with that. Knew it would be hard but with everyday what passes, it definitely gets easier with the urge to gamble subsiding.

During the first week still found myself visiting gambling websites, checking prices, picking out games etc however that has now stopped which is good.

Still find myself dwelling on the past thinking about the money lost, still gets me down especially when receiving calls from companies chasing money even though a DMP is in place. 

When gambling I had zero respect for money however now I have no money and on a shoestring budget, I definitely have respect for money. I am learning how to manage money all over again.

Also spending more time with the kids, wife and still feeling alot calmer and not as anxious from when I was gambling. 

I still haven't told my wife about everything what has happened but I will one day. 

Dave

@davido0103 

Hi

That is a healthy time off gambling.

For me it was not healthy or beneficial visiting gambling establishments.

The best thing is to completely disconnect your self from all gambling establishments.

For me dwelling on the past guilt shame regret why, it was easier to just let go and surrender to the fact gambling is the last thing you want in your life just for today.

Yes when I was in self destruction mode gambling I had no respect for myself others or money.

I did not see or understand that money represented the hours weeks months years of hard work I did earning that money, and then to just throw it away in a very short period of time.

Once I paid debts off I was able to reward myself by having holiday with my family.

Sadly I did not understand that by me living in regret shame I was living in my pains of the past.

It is very sad that on leaving gambling establishments I was in so much pain fears and frustrations but was not able to feel those feelings or heal those pains.

I use to drive on petrol fumes, buy te cheapest, try to get some thing cheap, or get some thing for nothing.

Once I reduce my fears trusts grows.

Once I forgave myself I could interact with my family in healthy ways.

I could not be a loving person if I was in pain or fearing every thing and every one.

Being honest to your self is very powerful, whn you are ready you will let people know how much pain you were in.

I am no longer fearing myself, I am no longer doubting myself, I am no longer hating myself.

All the time I avoid unhealthy habits I am learning to like myself.

Once I was committed to my recovery honest with myself I got more honest with my family.

When I said I was fine they knew that was not true.

As I got more honest with myself I was ready to get more honest with my family.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

@gadaveuk 

Relate to so many things what you are saying mate. Good to get a perspective from others 

33 days GF.

Not going to lie, found today tough. If I didn't have measures in place, could of easy gambled.

Couple of reasons why I would of gambled today -

1) Been talking with the wife about holidays. As my wife doesn't know about my problem, kind of difficult to talk about big expenses when struggling with money. 

I would of gambled to try and win some money to put towards the expense.

2) Boredom. Didn't do much today so find myself watching games, predicting what I would of bet on etc. 

Absolutely fine rest of the week as my days are so busy however Saturdays are hard. 

Over a month GF so should be happy with progress. 

Dave

Hi Dave 

33 clean days is a very good thing to do.

You are not going to lie, that is very powerful.

By holding back from being honest to our partner makes recovery harder for us.

Cane you enjoy the holidays if you are stressing your self out.

Boredom is one of my emotional triggers.

Saturdays were hard until I and my family went ten bowling.

Recovery is about healthy progress. 

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

Thanks Dave - When the time is right, I will sit my wife down and fully explain. Just don't feel quite there yet.

40 days GF today.

Good busy week at work which means that I didn't think about gambling at all. 

Very happy with the 40 day mark. 

Still skint and counting down the days until payday. Didn't help on Thursday when the engine management light came on in the car. Cost me £60 which depletes my funds even more.

Have a good weekend everyone.