I have never done this before but I wanted to do something a little bit different to show after 10 years attempt to stop gambling that I’ve finally hit 100 days gf
i have had many many dark days in 10 years gambling. All the lies I’ve ever told all the bs I had to say to cover my tracks. What was I thinking.
normally you would start this from day 1 but for 100 days I’ve been doing really well but a month before lockdown I was hitting the machines really bad. I have an amazing partner who I kept this all from and a beautiful 2 year old daughter who is so innocent in all this.
the amount of lies I would make up to my partner like I have a 2 hour meeting just so I could gamble looking back on it now how stupid could I be.
the thing about gambling is I win. Don’t ever spend it as it’s my spending money for the next day. Lose it well it’s a disaster another trip to the atm.
Deep down I could Cope with have a little bet on the football and it would bother me. If I stood in the bookies it be seconds And I’d be looking at someone playing The machines and instantly be drawn to it. As I said earlier this year I hit it hard maybe about 7k worth of debt.
my biggest turning point being honest was one day I took one big loss and I was potless so I went home. I was in a mood with everyone even my beautiful daughter didn’t want to socialise with her
so I got back up and drove back down.
i walked in to quit the lady behind the counter spoke before I got a chance to speak and said. God do you want my job cause your here more than me.
so that was my last time I gambled
I’ll talk tomorrow about how I was feeling though lockdown
Lee
So it was March 24th the day for where I live went into lockdown. I was already on 22 days gamble free. a part of me was quite relaxed and didn’t feel any cravings as I just got a promotion at my work and my head was only in my work at the start of my GF days
It’s weird when I look back at it that I was going through hell with my addiction running to betting shops on my dinner just to get my fix most of the time lose then walk back into work and act like I’ve just been the shop and got a sandwich. Funny how gamblers lead a double life
I was so proud to get my promotion in mid February it was something I wanted for a very long time. But I was still living with a lie.... gambling machines.
I took steps in December 19 to sign up to gamstop and Gamban as I had big losses. In my head I new I was in debt. But I still couldn’t give up the machines in the bookies.
On March 2nd I decided enough was enough after another big loss. Loans taking out I new I needed to change this time for good.
I contacted GamCare and it was so refreshing and gave me so much confidence.
with the lockdown the first week was an eye opener was first pay day of lockdown and every bill was paid I obviously owed a lot of money to my partner apox 1k. I paid £350 of that in a month. And still had money left in my account.
I was shocked end of the month of March and still had about £400 left in my account. First milestone for me because it’s normally gone.
i wanted a better life for me and my family and this shows if you do really want to quit. GamCare really put you on the right path if you choose to want to help yourself
till next time
Lee
Hi Lee,
Your situation is bad.We can't measure feelings on what we've done or how much we've lost. My advice stick around & listen to those who've stood at a railway line & about to throw themselves under the next passing train. Listen to those who've lived on cold beans & out of date stale bread for several days. Couldn't happen to you ?. Or yes it could, it could happen to any one of us.
Now here's the good news. I'm talking about the most wonderful mentors & advisers on here who've not only turned their lives around but found the time to support so many desperate souls on here who have also reached rock bottom, Are you ready for this because there ain't no one gonna stick a plaster on & say THERE THERE. You're gonna hear a lot of things you don't want to hear but the most wonderful advice & support is available here & if you can take it on board ( you might not feel like it now but the future's bright) Stick around.
Sincere Best Wishes
AL
Hey slow learner
Thanks for your reply and advice
I done my story a little bit different as am already past The 100 days GF Mark
i do agree with you there was very very hard times where I had £15 for the month and had 25 days to live of it.
i sponged of my parents something am readily not proud of.
trust me not 1 single person has said there there. Not even the GamCare team who to this day I hold in such high regard
the point of my story is to show that people who are leading a double life with gambling or people who think deep down they are in to deep. Is to read my story.
personally myself I am doing very well.
my eyes have been well and truly opened and I am strong as ever this am done with this.
i know in myself this because I want to help others succeed in quitting.
again thank you for your comments and suggestions. It will help others who think they are suffering.
all the best.
lee
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