Hi,
I'm Ross a 26 year old married man with 2 perfect kids.
I'm starting my journey to recovery, one i should have started ages ago but have never had the will, just the "thrill". The last straw for me was very nearly losing everything about a week ago when a letter was received detailing the mortgage holiday I requested, that I used to bet with behind my wife's back.
The whole 6/7 years of gambling all I could think about was myself, ive put gambling before everyone and its taken over my life. The thrill to bet and 'win' was better than the thrill of a day out with my family which is awful to say but I didnt even care at the time, all I could care about was checking my bet. It was an everyday occurrence, racking up debt to the extent of entering an IVA and spending all wages to £0 in the bank on the last day before payday again.
Its time to put them first and never touch a gambling site again with no looking back. Its been a week now since my last bet and I haven't missed it one bit, I feel 1000x happier knowing I'm not losing any money and knowing I've got a perfect family to go home to every night. Its a severe addiction and one you just can't stop until you lose/nearly lose the people that you don't realise you are hurting the most, the people that mean the world to you. I cant bear to think of the pain and hurt I have caused to my wife, knowing I have done everything in secret and behind her back, its killed me knowing I could do that to her. But all I could think about was myself.
There is an end to the nightmare.
Well done Ross!
Reading your post was like somebody was writing about me, including the fact that I am 1 week bet free. I have tried quitting usually after being caught so never really had the right motivation whereas this time, like you, I decided that I couldn’t keep doing this to my family. It really hit home when I told my wife everything and hearing myself say some of the lies I had told her I felt like s**m.
Apologies if this seems like I am trying to make this about me but I just thought that it would be nice for you to hear that your post has just helped someone (me) maintain their motivation.
Keep up the good work and hopefully when I come on to post that I am 1 month/1 year bet free I will see a post from you in the same position!
Ian
Hi Ross.
Sorry to hear about the extent of your gambling. I completely understand where you’re coming from when the ‘thrill’ of winning comes through and the ‘urge’ to win more.
Keep up the good work being gamble free. You’ve got your family to take care of. You’re still young(2 years older than me) but you’ve got more priorities with your family and mortgage.
Wish you and your family blessings on the recovery.
Ben
Thanks chaps good to hear from people in the same situation, its a horrible and selfish addiction. Its my family I cant bear to lose and the ones that have made me realise I need to stop now.
Hope to hear from you again on the path to recovery
Ross
Hi Ross
So glad to hear you are making the decision to put gambling behind you. You cannot change the past - the money and lost time with your family is unfortunately gone - but you can change the future and be the best father and husband you can be.
When I have been fighting urges in the past I have tried to imagine myself not gambling with money but with my relationships with my wife and son which would be the most precious thing I would eventually lose if I continued gambling.
You do not mention if you are putting any physical blocks in place to help your recovery? Willpower on its own is often not enough. Gamstop for online stuff or SENSE for physical bookies/casinos are good starts. A quick chat with the Gamcare helpline (number at the top of this page) might be worth considering?
Take care and keep posting, we are all in this to support each other.
Muststop123
Hi nice to hear from you.
Sorry forgot to mention I have signed up with Gamstop for the next 5 years. I've messed up on my own will power too many times. This time the addiction will end.
Ross
Brilliant choice ross it's not a cure but not does it give you space to sort your head out and stop the destruction. It's 44 days since I last gambled and I gambled daily for about 2 years gamstop has been the gamechanger for me I don't do willpower v well. As muststop said have a chat with the Gamcare advisors I have had 5 counselling sessions now (over phone due to covid) and really helping but I know women find it easier to open up than mostmen so only you know if it's something you could do. Think about all the options that give you the best shot at permanently stopping. With best wishes
Also have you considered GA meetings, I'm just waiting for them to start face to face meetings again in my area
Good to hear someone in the same situation, keep up the good work mate and keep in touch.
Ross
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