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If I don’t stop gambling is going to kill me  

 
allyc123
(@allyc123)

well folks on day 1 and fear, If I don’t stop it’s going to kill me. I never in my life thought my gambling would be so bad or affect me or my health that bad. I have seen 1/300 on getting beat. I do believe anything is possible now. I am at breaking point and don’t know what else to do. I have got all blocks on. Gameban on so things will get easier. Day 1. PMA is a must. The bookmakers are so greedy they will just make it harder or reduce your stakes so you can’t win as much. You lose everything they don’t say we aren’t accepting that beat cause you have lost so much. You win a good bet. There is blocks or your banned. They need to do something about it.

Quote
Posted : 28th September 2019 11:44 am
Cliffords-had-enough
(@cliffords-had-enough)

Take the power out of it. You are in control of yourself... (you just don't believe it enough)

It is not like there is a lion in your garden and if you go to it, it WILL kill you...

When the urges kick in it seems impossible to resist, but you know that you have not given in in the past, so you can stop yourself again...

Each time you don't give in, you gain a small victory, and they add up...

If you give in to despair, the bookies win... Hate them and despise them and deprive them of your money...

They don't deserve it...YOU do...

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28th September 2019 12:24 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Hi.. when you say you have got "all blocks"... does this mean gamstop? This will STOP you online gambling. Just using blocking software is to easy to get around or you just get a new device. Also self-exclude from local bookies. make it harder and harder for yourself to gamble.

Like you say, gambling is brutal. It has the highest suicide rate of all the addictions. People die because of gambling, don't let it be you. I don't intend to let it be me.

Time to stop

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Posted : 28th September 2019 4:11 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi allyc123.

The real blocks are a surrender to  born again moment of pure relief.......total honesty with your family and loved ones.....living on an allowance which you feel the serenity to do.... a serenity to know you can never be complacent for teh rest of your life but thats a good thing

Gamban etc are not the be all and end all...They are good steps within a context of a stronger foundation.

I can tell the addiction is strong with you. It doesnt have to be a fight if you are really ready to stop. There is help for you from all avenues

Of course the gambling dens are good at selling you the drug of gambling. It makes them huge amounts of money and they win every day. Just placing a machine in a shop makes them winners because they take 10% to 25% of the total no matter what happens. Same with sports...what do you think they ever offered you? Life changing odds on a cert??

Did you ever think the bookies were not greedy?

Your confusion and addiction will fade when you enter a full recovery and I mean the real blocks I mentioned

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 9:19 am
allyc123
(@allyc123)

Hi guys, all blocks are on gameban and gamstop. Banned from all bookies. It’s time to stop. The shock results are getting worse. Ireland getting beaten by japan easily in the end. As one of the above comments said it’s us that dose it to ourselves not the gambling. I have tried for so many a year no to stop and I always end up back here. It’s now time to go and focus on the most important  things in life instead of the result of a horse race or the result of a football match. Living with the disappointment when the horse tails of last or the football team gets beat 3-0 from bottom of the league. I do good till my horse gets beaten a neck and it tips me over the edge. I start chasing. It’s like a trip switch. I am a compulsive gambler and always will be. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29th September 2019 1:09 pm
allyc123
(@allyc123)

Day 2 GF. Feeling more positive and determined to beat this horrible demon. I won’t let this feeling grind me done. Life is hard enough at times without adding more heartache to it by losing everything I have. The thing that makes it makes sense is, I am not alone in beating gambling. There is loads of people in the same position.  The right mind set is not to feeling sorry for your self. I control if I gamble or not. Sometimes with ill health you don’t have an option. With gambling all I am doing is adding more pain the the painful wounds. Now time to grow up and beat this for ever. Happy GF day folks 

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Posted : 30th September 2019 7:53 am
allyc123
(@allyc123)

Day 5 GF. Feeling more positive. Been keeping busy with work. Trying not to punish myself with the past and focus on the future. I will never forget the past an where I was. Been such a more relaxing week not chasing my life away. Been kept busy reading and playing fifa 20. Off to watch the football and the shocks. Another winning day as I never placed a bet. PMA

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Posted : 2nd October 2019 7:58 pm
allyc123
(@allyc123)

Day 7 GF. Been watching sport the last few days. Can’t believe how stupid I have been. Taking every day as it comes. I am a compulsive gambler and cannot gamble in anyway. I have now realised that gambling would drive you mad. There is no limit to our loses. No matter what we can get our hands on we gamble it. If hundreds in debt instead of paying out debt off we gamble it away. I am just glad I have seen sense finally.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th October 2019 3:23 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Keep going allyc123!

We are glad you are able to share your recovery with us all

 

Best wishes

Forum Admin

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Posted : 4th October 2019 9:48 pm
allyc123
(@allyc123)

9 days GF. Was a busy weekend and felt great seeing all the shock results coming through. Being a compulsive gambler you cannot gamble and control it. Once you lose you chase until you hit the self destruct mode which means you can lose everything. I am not willing to lose everything I have ever wanted. Life’s about making memories and not letting this demon ruin my life. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th October 2019 11:13 am
allyc123
(@allyc123)

GF day 12.  Been off here for a few days after realising after my last relapse i am now £7470 in debt.  Today I have felt suicidal to a who new level.  How stupid can I have been.  I have been here so many times and back here.  This disease has affected my health to a whole new level and I still continued to gamble.  What has happened to me. I have changed so much as a person.  I never thought I would have spent a day at work hiding and constantly on my phone baking bets and looking for the next one if it gets beat chasing my life away.  I get pocket money for the reason I am a compulsive gambler and rang up all this debt.  Going to take me forever to pay the money back.  Devastated 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th October 2019 7:34 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear ally,

I'm so sorry to hear you that you are feeling so low today; it sounds like it has taken a little while but now the reality of the money lost has really hit you hard. This is not unusual ally, and I would encourage you to seek some advice around the best way for you to manage this debt so that it is going to be affordable for you. The National Debt Line offer free, independent advice and can be reached on 0808 808 4000. 

While this is difficult, it sounds like you've been making some really positive progress generally, and well done for putting all the blocks in to place. Perhaps, when you feel ready. we could also look in to referring you to Treatment Support which will help you to address the underlying reasons for your gambling; identifying any triggers and gain more of an understanding of what drives you to gamble, further supporting you in to recovery.

In case of emergency please do get in touch with the Samaritans on 116 123 (freephone) or consider calling our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or netline; we are here 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

Wishing you all the very best ally,

Forum Admin

 

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Posted : 9th October 2019 10:06 pm
allyc123
(@allyc123)

Day 14 GF, I have come so far in the past 2 weeks GF.  I know GF is the better life for me but I still cant get my head round how stupid I have been to be in the mess I am in.  Gambling messes with your head to another level.  You hit a target an never stop.  Just keep going till the end no money left, but I kept going back for more no matter how hard I tried to stop.  I am so down just now I am like a sinking ship.  I want this feeling to pass.  I am gutted right now.  The money I have lost is heart breaking.  I just want to get better.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th October 2019 3:26 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @allyc123,

sorry to read you are feeling low and are feeling like a sinking ship. The beginning of recovery can sometimes be challenging, especially the remorse over all the money lost. This is why we generally recommend to focus on resolving the gambling problem, rather than thinking of the money. It is not easy to let go of the losses, but the danger of not letting go is that it can create a pull to go back to gambling. 

Two weeks is a very good start, and I can imagine it wasn't easy, but you are on the right track, keep going. 

Part of the recovery process is to re-discover old hobbies and special interests or discover new one so you have things you enjoy doing and things you look forward to doing. A creative hobby can also be helpful in boosting your self-esteem and shift focus away from negative thoughts. Maybe you could try an adult colouring in book?

You are not alone the Forum is here for you and you can call us on the Helpline or Netline 24/7. Especially when you are feeling low, it can be helpful to speak to someone.

Wishing you all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

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Posted : 12th October 2019 2:30 pm
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