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I need to stop before I lose everything. Hit rock bottom.

 
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

The day has finally come. The day I need to give up this addiction that has lived with me for the past 20 year. It has driven me to suicidal thoughts several times. I have everything I have ever wanted and so close to throwing it all away for this horrible addiction. I have tried so many times to give up but this time there is no going back. It’s affected my health. My mind and my soul. When not gambling I can be the most chilled laid back person. When gambling it’s all that matters. Flying everywhere to get this one bet on incase it wins and I am not on it. I don’t know who I am when I am gambling, lost in a world chasing my life away. Life is hard enough right now without adding more pressure. I have got myself into a bit of financial problems due to gambling. I can’t afford to lose anymore. I can’t borrow anymore. I plan to take day by day and post every day to grow stronger and live a GF life. 

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by allyc1981
Quote
Topic starter Posted : 21st June 2022 6:15 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

 Hi allyc1981

Well done for posting and sharing your story. 

You are not alone and there is plenty of support available to you, making a post each day can be a good way to process thoughts and keep away from gambling. 

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

If you are ever feeling suicidal, I'll advise you to contact the Samaritans on: 116 123, contact 999 - ambulance or the Police, Papyrus on: 0800 068 4141, your local A &E, or your G.P.

Take care 

Kirk 

Forum Admin 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 21st June 2022 10:06 pm
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

Day 1 GF. Really struggling today. Urges are real bad. Need to take it day by day and stay strong. My head is like a war zone today. 

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 22nd June 2022 2:03 pm
Gerard G
(@gerard-g)

When I was at the point where I wanted to put blocks/controls in place I needed a motivation to do so, because there was a part of me that didn't want to let go of gambling. But I knew I had to. So I thought of ways to help me make the decision. I thought of when my son was little and we took him to hospital. Did the doctor say, "you're stupid" (like i did after i lost at gambling). No! He said to my son, "you are sick and you need treatment to get better. We are going to make you all better". Well that is what i told myself and it did the trick to push me over the edge and put full blocks/controls in place. I just kept saying to myself, "i am sick and I need treatment to get better". I hope you can find the key to live a life gamble free going forward. Maybe my method will work or if it doesn't just keep searching til you find the right method that works for you. Best wishes. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd June 2022 2:22 pm
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

Thanks for your kind words Gerard G. Trying to look at it as my second chance in life. Time to grow up and don’t let the past affect my future. I do need treatment and need to clear my head of this war zone. Slowly take day by day and become stronger.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 22nd June 2022 3:41 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

Each time I went back to the unhealthy gambling I was able to understand what my last emotionl trigger was.

In time we learn to be kind and caring towards our self.

Recovery was a much healthier chance in my life of bein healthier..

Time to heal my pains and learn from my past and no longer live in the pains of my past.

I like many people needed help and understanding how to heal my pains and become much healthier..

Yes day by day and become stronger and healthier.

To no longer live in my fears.

Love and peace to every one 

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd June 2022 4:30 pm
Gerard G
(@gerard-g)

Here is my favorite quote: "It is never too late... to do the right thing." I feel confident that you are going to find a way to pull through this.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd June 2022 4:32 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

It is never too late to learn from our unhealthy past.

To be able to change our unhealthy reactions to people life and situations to healthy interactions.

My addictions and my obsessions were a form of me escaping from my feelings and my emotions.

Invest in your recovery as much as you can and find a healthier life for your self and your family.

I no longer want to hurt myself ro hurt other people any more.

I want to heal my pains.

I want to reduce my fears.

I want to reduce my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations and stop causing myself pains.

Love and peace to every one 

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22nd June 2022 4:50 pm
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

Thanks Dave L and Gerard G. They say time is a great healer. Your words are very true. I wish to use this platform to help myself and others beat this horrible addiction. I can’t change the past but hopefully I can change my future. I need to take it day by day. I am a compulsive gambler and will never change. Never in my life did I think gambling could affect my mental health the way it has. Stay strong folks and to another GF day.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 23rd June 2022 11:35 am
lids19635
(@lids19635)

The feelings you express of how hard and the first day urges resonates.

Take at least 10 minutes at the end of each day to plan your next day.

questions like will tomorrow take me near known gambling establishments?

               is there any part of the day where i will feel boredom or stress?

               do i need to carry any cash tomorrow , if so how much do i need maximum?

               will i come into contact with the internet?

               can i avoid the gambling ads from around 9pm onwards?

Do the same at the end of the week 

               are there any particularly triggering anniversaries that week?

               what meetings or chatrooms can you make that week?

               is there a day of the week that is more triggering? (for me it was Fridays)

 

When you've asked yourself these questions work out the solutions , and then plan plan plan, never stop planning.

Good luck Ally its been good chatting with you in the chat room, you will smash this of that i have no doubt, just keep planning!  

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th June 2022 10:41 am
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

Thanks lids. You support is much appreciated. Chat room is so good as you don’t feel alone. People with the same thinking. In the past I haven’t used the tools as much as I should have. As a compulsive gambler we will live with this demon for the rest of our life’s. 4 days GF. As you have said, plan the next day and enjoy life. Life is to short chasing your life away. Sometimes you have to hit breaking point to be able to move forward again. I am slowly forgiving myself since my last relapse. Stay strong lids and have a wonderful day.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 25th June 2022 1:12 pm
allyc1981
(@allyc1981)

Day 5 GF. Been keeping busy and now heading to work. I work away from home 3 days a week so keeping busy is definitely stoping the urges. Before my relapse I managed to pass my driving test. He’s been the most amazing thing I have ever achieved. It has gave me the freedom to go to the golf when I like etc. I could never afford to pass my driving test or have a car due to how much I would gamble. Stay strong folks and stay GF.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 26th June 2022 3:24 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)

Hi

5 Day gambling free is a very healthy thing well done.

For me keeping busy and productive helped with my recovery.

You pass your driving test.

Good for one another goal reached.

Yes being healthier gives us far more freedom and healthy choices in our life.

Yes having a car is rewarding your self.

Now you just need to save up for the petrol.

To think there was a time I did not like love or respect myself. 

Stay strong and healthy.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26th June 2022 4:17 pm
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