I messed up again. Please someone help.

Hi XM don't chase it. Sign up to gamstop, download Gamban, find a GA meeting. Set a limit on your card, look at basic bank accounts or handover finances. If you can't tell your girlfriend, tell her you don't trust yourself. Honesty plays a big part of recovery. Once you tell you can get support. Call gamcare get some counselling. If you're depressed go to your gp. Find something else to occupy your time. Take it one day at a time.

Merry go round wrote:

Hi XM don't chase it. Sign up to gamstop, download Gamban, find a GA meeting. Set a limit on your card, look at basic bank accounts or handover finances. If you can't tell your girlfriend, tell her you don't trust yourself. Honesty plays a big part of recovery. Once you tell you can get support. Call gamcare get some counselling. If you're depressed go to your gp. Find something else to occupy your time. Take it one day at a time.

I downloaded that GamBan.
I woke up shaking. Sweating. Headache. I can't tell her. Last time she found out she gave me the ultimatum. I need to be honest with myself. It's been so many years of disease that I choose to have. 16 years. It's my whole adult Life. My whole working Life. My pathetic Life.

Ultimatums don't work they just make you secretive. Your recovery is important and living a lie is unhealthy. Find a GA meeting, get some support.

First of all. You got to stop getting angry at yourself. Where does it get you? Get angry at the system. Really angry. Gambling is the devils spawn.. Its addiction that you will never be the winner from. Once you start being kinder to yourself and angry at the gambling industry then you will start healing.

So, first gamban never worked for me it had way to many loopholes and easily to break through.

What you need to actually do is go onto gamstop its about a year old. Get yourself registered. It stops you gambling on all UK gambling sites but you have to be truthful. Give every email address even new ones, including work ones. Give address and all details it asks. You have to give yourself the blocks.

Do you gamble online only or in bookies? If bookies then you should also ask in the bookies for a ban.

And listen to advice like Merry go round and many on here.

And the best advice.. Is ring gamcare helpline they can offer counselling or other treatments.

Create a diary and log in daily. Xx

Hi XM :))

I'm feeling your pain mate and I know through my own experience how when it get's to this point just how bad your feeling right now ?.

At the moment your in limbo as it were ? , trying to figure out how maybe you can cover this up , replace the lost money so your girlfriend or anyone else for that matter doesn't know what youv'e been up to ? , maybe I'm wrong but that's what I did when I found myself in the same position .

The truth is that there's no real way of stopping gambling unless your first and formost honest with yourself and also to those around you that you claim to love .

Youv'e done the same thing for 16 yrs or so I believe and what's changed in those 16 yrs ?..... nothing really and that's simply because youv'e not changed ? .

I know your scared of losing your girlfriend and I totally get that ( just as I was ) but a relationship that's based on lies and deceit will never be as good as it should be my friend as it's not an honest one . Should you in some way be able to bluff your way out ? You'll always be looking over your shoulder waiting for the moment when she find's out the truth and that's just living on borrowed time my friend .

If you don't tell her and just carry on as before then that's the same as it always was , you can't be trusted to have access to any sort of funds ( that's not your fault ) it's just addiction telling you to keep at it and chase your losses bye the way , so you need to hand over financial control until such times you feel able to have access .

You need to get pro active by going to GA , or therapy / councilling if you need help or the very least contacting Gamcare to speak to an advisor as has already been advised .

The money's gone and to be honest if you stick at this you'll realise how little importance that money actually was , it's about honesty, trust and relationships which although can take time to rebuild or maybe lost ? will eventually make you have much more self esteem .

Having that conversation with my partner was one of the worst I've ever had to face but equally it gave me a chance to rebuild my life honestly from day one .

This pain will ease my friend but only if you do what's needed as " Nothing changes if nothing changes " and as was once pointed out to me on here by someone far wiser and as Einstien said " The defenition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome "

Were all here for you buddy and have all walked in your shoes , so no judgement , just advice :))

All the best for now

Alan

ChasingRainbows wrote: First of all. You got to stop getting angry at yourself. Where does it get you? Get angry at the system. Really angry. Gambling is the devils spawn.. Its addiction that you will never be the winner from. Once you start being kinder to yourself and angry at the gambling industry then you will start healing.

So, first gamban never worked for me it had way to many loopholes and easily to break through.

What you need to actually do is go onto gamstop its about a year old. Get yourself registered. It stops you gambling on all UK gambling sites but you have to be truthful. Give every email address even new ones, including work ones. Give address and all details it asks. You have to give yourself the blocks.

Do you gamble online only or in bookies? If bookies then you should also ask in the bookies for a ban.

And listen to advice like Merry go round and many on here.

And the best advice.. Is ring gamcare helpline they can offer counselling or other treatments.

Create a diary and log in daily. Xx

Thank you for your message.

I guess I'm about as angry with the gaming industry as I am myself. I should be wiser.

I banned myself from every bookmakers within a ten mile radius. GamBan I guessed may have loopholes but currently I need a free one.

I have called Gamcare before a couple of times. Just kept ending back gambling.

A 9 wrote:

Hi XM :))

I'm feeling your pain mate and I know through my own experience how when it get's to this point just how bad your feeling right now ?.

At the moment your in limbo as it were ? , trying to figure out how maybe you can cover this up , replace the lost money so your girlfriend or anyone else for that matter doesn't know what youv'e been up to ? , maybe I'm wrong but that's what I did when I found myself in the same position .

The truth is that there's no real way of stopping gambling unless your first and formost honest with yourself and also to those around you that you claim to love .

Youv'e done the same thing for 16 yrs or so I believe and what's changed in those 16 yrs ?..... nothing really and that's simply because youv'e not changed ? .

I know your scared of losing your girlfriend and I totally get that ( just as I was ) but a relationship that's based on lies and deceit will never be as good as it should be my friend as it's not an honest one . Should you in some way be able to bluff your way out ? You'll always be looking over your shoulder waiting for the moment when she find's out the truth and that's just living on borrowed time my friend .

If you don't tell her and just carry on as before then that's the same as it always was , you can't be trusted to have access to any sort of funds ( that's not your fault ) it's just addiction telling you to keep at it and chase your losses bye the way , so you need to hand over financial control until such times you feel able to have access .

You need to get pro active by going to GA , or therapy / councilling if you need help or the very least contacting Gamcare to speak to an advisor as has already been advised .

The money's gone and to be honest if you stick at this you'll realise how little importance that money actually was , it's about honesty, trust and relationships which although can take time to rebuild or maybe lost ? will eventually make you have much more self esteem .

Having that conversation with my partner was one of the worst I've ever had to face but equally it gave me a chance to rebuild my life honestly from day one .

This pain will ease my friend but only if you do what's needed as " Nothing changes if nothing changes " and as was once pointed out to me on here by someone far wiser and as Einstien said " The defenition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome "

Were all here for you buddy and have all walked in your shoes , so no judgement , just advice :))

All the best for now

Alan

Hi. Thanks for your great message.

I've made the decision to not tell her. I would or am afraid she would do something really stupid. I'd rather have her split up with me than do something stupid.

I think I may just have accepted that the money isn't coming back. I don't even think I want to win it back. I just want to stop gambling forever.

I'll try and use this site everyday. For the support and stuff. I haven't stopped shaking all day.

And that's one of my favourite quotes from Einstien

Yeah there's lots of those quotes floating around this site and I'm sure there's one for every occasion as well :)).

I kinda worry that you worrying about your girlfriend " Doing something stupid " maybe more about you protecting you rather than the other way around but as I said I'm not going to stand here and Judge , firstly because I'm a compulsive gambler myself and have no right to judge what anyone does or doesn't do and secondly because your the only who know's your particular set of circumstances but will add that " Gambling loves secrecy " and all the time it's your secret you could all too easily pick up where you left off ?.

And there endeth the lecture :)) .

Like you say " Stick close to this site" as it's full of advice given by people who have been there , it is early day's but if you truly want to put this behind you and go forward with a gamble free life it's all well within you *** .

Giving up gambling for good is one hell of a scary thought for most of us , it certainly was for me as I'd relied on it so much for more years than I care to remember and I advise at least for now to take baby steps and treat it all as one day at a time , thise day's soon add up buddy and turn to weeks and months :))

Look forward to seeing some updates when you feel like it :))

All the best

Alan