Today I have been in a important meeting with a client having spent four hours playing slots lost £’sssss and today I said no slots, just a bet on horses after meeting! Guess what 4 hours later missed train another pay day loan and £30 in bank owing mum and dad a fair bit!
This must stop I have a good job, a pension that will give a nice lump sum but the way I am going in 15 years I will owe all of it and my life will be a waste! I have a house and a car but lost two partners though gambling and it’s getting worse. Today I have put computer blocks on mobile and lap top and self excluded from local bookies and casino! I need some headspace or a new brain - rewire would be good.
i am alone and afraid of the future!
Here is to the future not the past
matt692
3.22am 10/7 ian wide awake head thinking about debt and gambling /schemes to get debt free other things I can’t do anything about! Also todo list at work massive! Can’t face that at moment either! So I thought blog! I have had 5 hrs sleep so not too bad for me.
anyway today is day 1 so I will look to be productive / busy / and most of all gambling free
matt692
7.30 pm about 24 hours into my recovery I can’t say I am still gamble free, my feelings today are one of relief, frustration, concern and self annoyance! All mixed together no clear thoughts, and I have tried to get on with work with limited success! But it is a start!
matt692
Good luck mate! Stay strong! Gambling only makes the situation worse. I have 19k which will take me 18months to pay off. Stay strong and sort your finances out. Look forward and not behind you! Good luck
Thanks Jee I have plenty to repay and one of the jobs is to sort and get a plan, not wanting to address yet!
Today thurs 11/7 busy day, and mind beginning to clear, I had a good morning some todo cleared, I have done golf this pm which was good, but underneath I am frustrated so patience not the best! Tomorrow I am out and about so planning not to carry cash so barriers in place. Another day gf and it is a good day!
Day 3 - all good and even got some jobs off todo list that have been stressing for weeks! Managed to put mind to them!
all good and gf!
matt692
Day 4 - a full day of golf, and weekend of sport! My mind needs to be concentrated on this, I will have a chance as I won’t be looking at bets on phone, getting annoyed because x or y is not happening. I have been very intolerant recently so let’s set the level to as high as possible and being gf for a number of days can help. Here’s to another gf day!
Day 5 I have a good day to look forward to a stack of work that needs doing then a day of sport on tele! Here is to a day gf - blocks in place so watch the sport
matt692
What a day! 6 hours work from early am cricket!! And went for a run! All good feelings and boosts - no gambling thoughts! All good. Up and at it today looking and feeling good! Will have to look at finances at some point ?
Ok good start.
things I’ve learned.....sort the debt out into a structure, it needs dealing with.
having debt keeps me focused.
you MUST never gamble again, zero tolerance to anything, anything!
plan ahead, make yourself busy, re invent yourself.
you must accept this is for life mate, no comeback, the debt is done don’t dwell on losses as it’s not going to help, focus solely on not gambling, the key to everything is that.keep posting , keep busy and never ever think you have beaten this as you never ever will....but you can stop gambling.(there’s a difference)
good luck, it’s very hard, but worth it.
Thanks for your comments and agree all the comments - looking at my debt is something that needs sorting, however my mind will want to sort immediately, and not try and sort over time! But it needs doing
matt692
Today is day 7 so this time at about 8pm will be a full week without gambling. So here is too a good day gf!
I have some tests this pm so could be stressful so barriers up and also starting to believe I don’t need gambling / I need to be aware and make concious decisions!
have a good day
Congratulations Matt692 on being 7 days gambling free. Have you thought about how you might distract yourself this evening? Getting some distractions in place, and planning time carefully around upcoming stresses can be a helpful way to keep urges at bay.
Best wishes,
Laura, Forum Admin
Thanks Laura - I will get out and do some exercise “hopefully” that works both ways takes time and feels better!
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