Well guys the game is up for me. I relapsed and it’s scary how bad it has got. Winning my money back blowing it winning it back it goes on and really all we want is just to not lose any money so why do we do it at all. I have a problem in a big way. I have tried to stop but win or lose I just keep going till I have nothing or there is nothing else to gamble on. I have been here a few times but this time it needs to be for good. Got myself on a wee bit of money problems. It all started with the football starting again. Just put a wee coupon on and that will be it. When your a compulsive gambler it’s never like that. Any on day 1. I can do this and become that better person I can be and stop lying to myself I can control this evil demon.
Morning ally like yourself I am back yet another day one. But try not to beat yourself up too much. If it helps how I know I will beat this illness this time is I have finally admitted to myself that I am an addict. Before I just thought I had a problem that I could control. Wrong we can't control it unless we accept the true reality of it all. I feel so positive right now knowing that if I accept this I will get better. The old thought of just twenty quid will not hurt, I can control this has gone. I am an addict and will be for life but I am no longer an addict in denial. You can beat this and I wish you luck in your journey
On day 7 GF. Been keeping really busy and reading peoples stories. We are not along. See a few shock results this weekend and felt so much better in myself. My attitude to normal life has changed. So much more chill time instead of chasing my life away. The loses were getting so bad I was going to do something stupid. Bookmakers is a business and not a charity. They want mug punters to bet with them. They know even if we do win through time they will get there money back and more. Once a compulsive gambler always a compulsive gambler. Here is to another GF day.
The recovery program will help you help your self to become healthy and heal your hurt inner child.
By setting boundary each day just for today not gamble is number one need for me today.
No matter what happens just for today not gamble .
I gambled to escape which is fear based, do I enjoy living in fear.
I gambled to escape people life and situation that I could not cope with emotionally.
The gambling the obsessions were just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.
The recovery program would help me help myself.
The recovery program would help me to not live in fear any more.
The recovery program would help me write things down and get clarity in my life today.
Money was never going to heal my pains or other peoples pains.
Money was just the fuel for my addictions and my obsessions.
The recovery program would help me stop living in my hatred and start to love myself and other people.
Yet this is only possible once my pains start to heal.
With each lie comes fears.
The recovery program would help me take very slow baby steps each day.
The recovery program would help me learn to value myself more.
The recovery program would help me get focused on my needs, my wants and my goals.
Only when I help myself can I help other people.
I needed to become very selfish in my recovery.
More time and energy in interacting with healthy like minded goal setting people.
The gambling never hurt me, I hurt myself.
The gambling was a form of self abuse.
Please learn to value like and love your self.