I am what I am

Morning, it was bitterly cold in the breeze first thing but the sky was a beautiful deep blue. I love these crisp days. I have decided to put myself in the lap of the rail gods again today. My leg is a little sore after a lot of driving so train it is.  The good news is I am on one. The bad news is it has a fault and isn’t moving. I have also forgotten to bring any shoes to change into so trainers it is for me all day. That’s fine by me as they are warm and comfy. I have a feeling what should have been a 2.5 hour rail journey will end up a whole lot longer but I am relaxed about that. I have things to read and listen to and I am safe and warm. I am really grateful for that. 

I hope everyone has a good day. I may still be traipsing the country by rail by the time chat arrives at 1pm ?

Oh Thomas the tank engine must have had these days too... ?

Stay safe and warm.. Enjoy some nice British rail coffee 

Boo ???

What time did you get back last night? Must've been late. (I am nosey)

Oh btw I got a full 8 hours sleep. Still feel physically pooped but my brain is happier. 

Safe travels today. 

Love from Drama x

Happy 101 dear neighbour ??????

Dear Diary. Day 101 gamble free.

It took me quite a while to get to work by train this morning.  Second leg of the journey the train was standing room only which was a bit of a pain for 1.5 hours. I happened to be stood next to a female British sprinter and had a good chat. I was in awe of her, let that be the motivation I need to get back into shape ?‍♀️. Also had a chat with a Syrian refugee family after sprinter got off. It was really moving and touching to hear their story. I was just so glad to know that they had been welcomed into their new community with open arms. I forget how good it can be to travel by rail sometimes. I do like a good natter with people I’ve not met before.

Work itself was completely random. I get used to pitching up and the day turning out quite differently but today has been like that on a big scale. I was a bit fed up that I wasn’t really able to join in with the 1pm chat today because I was sorting out two colleagues that were having a seriously heated debate about a policy and how it should be applied. I was really annoyed because in the middle of it all was a patient that just needed their care sorting. I didn’t leave them in any doubt about how I felt about their behaviour. JFDI. It got sorted.

I have definitely had to go into control mode today for a number of things, it’s been a bossy Murlo day. It is not my natural style at all so when I do go into that mode, people know I am serious about something.    

I really wanted to have a walk and nicotine today. I had the walk, didn’t give in to the smoking urge. I just listened to a mindfulness podcast. Just like I can’t ever have just one bet, I can’t ever have just one cigarette. It is all or nothing with me so I am really pleased I didn’t give in. 

Journey home was not too bad. Return journeys are always different. Everyone just sticks their headphones on (me included) I guess trying to wind down from the day.

Home, tea, bath, relax. That is my evening. Not an exciting one but it is so lovely to be home. Boo says she is appreciating her home so much more. I get that completely.

No travel for me tomorrow (yippee!). Counselling session in the afternoon. It’s been a while. Looking forward to a lovely coffee and chat.

That’s my normal day. Not so bad really. 

sounds like an interesting day murlo, I like randomly talking to people too you can met all sorts, lets make this week, month, year one we can remember one that stands out as the year we took charge and fully changed our lifestyle!!!xx

Natural chatterboxes we are ? Boo 

Yep, I could talk all day and all night given half the chance. My hubby has fine tuned his ability to shut off from my wittering ??

“Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.” Homer Simpson

That’s how my brain feels tonight ?

Hi Murlo.

It's a time of renewal,letting old thoughts go from one's brain & allowing a new sense of thought in. Recycling & a cleansing of one's mindset. Addiction out & healthy thoughts in, don't fear or fight it but embrace it. Addiction is a disease that can be a lot harder  harder to evict than inviting it in to our minds in the first place.

Best Wishes

AL

Morning world,

no travel today so I had a bit of a lie in. Just sat having a coffee before I turn my attention to work and a male blackbird that has visited our garden for the last few years has appeared. I know it is him because he has a little white patch around his eye. It has made me so happy to see him because last year, he lost his mate and suffered quite a lot of injuries when a sparrow hawk came and attacked them. I know this sounds like an irrelevant ramble but I was at home with my injuries last year while he was fighting his own injuries and looking after his brood. I would sit and watch in awe at the effort that he was putting in to feed his young. He had no tail feathers and a badly damaged wing so was nesting in one of our shrubs. In difficult days he reminded me that there are things that are worth fighting for. It is wonderful to see him again today looking healthy and strong. I would like to think he can see the same for me. 

Hello Princess Murlo. Hope you are having a good day.

Thought I would let you know that at 1900 hrs this evening I shall be joining a group of people for a guided meditation entitled "Befriending The Mind." 

Hopefully it will be enlightening and enjoyable.

Stephen x 

Dear diary. Day 102 gamble free.

I have just returned from a counselling session. It has been a while since my last one. To be honest I was wondering what I might talk about because I am in a good place. We ended up filling every minute of the session. My counsellor knew exactly what to explore and how far to take it. I have ended up getting a lot of help that I didn’t even realise I needed. We also celebrated my 100 days which was just so lovely. I am not going back for another month unless I have a meltdown (I am not going to) and that feels right to me. 

I intend to have a bit of fun this evening  It’s been a tough work week so I feel like relaxing ?

Posted by: Murlo

Dear diary. Day 102 gamble free.

I have just returned from a counselling session. It has been a while since my last one. To be honest I was wondering what I might talk about because I am in a good place. We ended up filling every minute of the session. My counsellor knew exactly what to explore and how far to take it. I have ended up getting a lot of help that I didn’t even realise I needed. We also celebrated my 100 days which was just so lovely. I am not going back for another month unless I have a meltdown (I am not going to) and that feels right to me. 

I intend to have a bit of fun this evening  It’s been a tough work week so I feel like relaxing ?

 

Murlo

Its really good to see that even though you are in triple digits, you still see your counsellor, it reassures me that I am doing the right thing by going ahead with my sessions. As you say, your counsellor knew exactly what to explore, I think this is the aspect I’m looking forward to the most, learning more about myself and why I think the way I do.

Kram

I wondered how I might cope when my friend’s condition started to deteriorate. It seems that I am going to put that to the test now. My evening hasn’t turned out as planned and it’s strange, I had a bit of a sense that it wouldn’t. It is only a few hours ago that I was talking to my counsellor about how I might get through the difficult times. I am pleased she pushed me to talk about it, I wouldn’t have opened up otherwise.

I feel a little confused and scared so Lord only knows how my friend is feeling. I will work that through, everything is just a little raw at the moment. I don’t have any gambling urges and that makes it much easier to just focus on what I need to right now. Time to pull  myself together...