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here we go on the roller coaster...to a new start..  

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*its time to change*
(@its-time-change)

Day 1

after my dealings with the bailiff at my door tonight...i turned a corner..scared to death of losing everything ( i didn't answer the door just hid away when he said who he was) after 5 f**s i started surfing on the net to seek help/advice on my gambling habit..and to sort my debt out. I did try about 1 1/2 yr ago got to much for me i stopped paying everyone i owe to get my self on track... just ignored all post and phone calls.

I have now started my dairy and hope you will all follow me through my journey and to help others.. and others to support me..i logged onto netline and spoken to a lovely lady who has given me some weblinks to sort out my debt and support networks, am so scared to contacted these but i know i will have too to change my life...also i come across a software to download to stop me playing on gaming sites...as i feel this will be a big help...its gone midnight i know that i'm not going to sleep well tonight...i feel very sick just want to have a good cry, some to hug me and tell me its gonna be ok... i know now its me who has to make the changes in my life...and my daughter means the world to me....i am going to do it for her...

xx

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Posted : 16th September 2008 1:24 am
potholesbabe
(@potholesbabe)

hey glad you started a journal..... heres a hug (((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))) think we all need one write now? huhh i dunno about the bankrupcy thing i was on tax credits and only had too pay 140 pounds they didnt take nothing away from me from 27k of debt... i think with assets tho its different if you own a car or home for eg keep posting hun its a gret relief tc shell x

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Posted : 16th September 2008 1:44 am
bandit
(@bandit)

Hi, pleased you have started your diary, honestly it is really great the support that you get here and also reading others diaries and being able to support back. Its real good to know you are not out there alone as it can feel when gambling, cause if you are like me it is a big secret.

I have excluded form the arcades in town yesterday, if you still are drawn to them it is so easy to day, it was advice on here that pushed me to do it and I feel so much better knowing that if I go into town i am well safe cause I just cant go there.

Lots of Luck in your recovery Bandit

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Posted : 16th September 2008 8:58 am
Lifeback
(@lifeback)

Hi there

Its the best move you've done is come here i've only been here a bit to. in a week of posting and gettin replies its helped no end all so a big wieght lifed . We're all here for the same reason to help and get help whitch you'll get as much as you need and all the advise to . Keep posting it dus help and we'll look out for you.

well done for making the first step

keep stronge

Paul

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Posted : 16th September 2008 11:29 am
Chances
(@chances)

ITTC,

Jump off of the rollercoaster. Sorry to hear of your struggle, for me crying helped. It helped to have that last cry and get through those emotions. It is a part of growth, healing, and peace. For me, as I slowly paid off bills (which I continue to pay), the collector phone calls stopped. Make pay arrangements if you can, at least this will eliminate some calls. You can get through this without using gambling to try to catch up on bills or as an escape. You are in the right place. Wish you well.

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Posted : 16th September 2008 3:22 pm
*its time to change*
(@its-time-change)

Day 2

thankyou so much for your support guys so glad you are here for me and others...well i didn't sleep very well last night clock watching last time i saw was 2.30am...random thoughts/ideas racing through my brain...on what actions i was going to do...well i did managed to get up for work..did press that alarm off button 3 times lol...i was very busy today which helped didn't think about bingo or slots just this diary i have started...what i was going to write...i can say have kept me self busy spent some time with my daughter and spent the evening with some very good friends which was lovely and enjoyed there company...i was on the egde all night i felt i was going to tell them about my problems i'm having i know i'm not ready yet...they do know i do struggle with money and do help me out etc... to tell them what i do scares me to death and feel ashamed of what i have done.

Its now 10.10pm i am so tired but i so wanted to add to my diary to update...that i havn't touch any online bingo sites tonight.. i feel so proud of my self..i really need to get advice now whether i can repay my debts back which are over 20k by different methods store cards loans credit cards...and i will add the gam software to stop me using online bingo sites....

i am now going to read some diaries before i go bed...

see ya all tomorrow xx

g x

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Posted : 16th September 2008 11:15 pm
potholesbabe
(@potholesbabe)

hi ittc glad you are posting and feel much better today.. once you realise your bank account aint getting taken over by gambeling transactions you will feel so much better the money is still there unbelievably and its nice too have some time with your daughter... ive been a proper mum too my kids within the last few days etc reding their books for school etc and doing their homework etc the teacher will think o*g what is going on here lol miss elliott is actually putting comments in their reading diaries instead of wd shannon kieran etc thats the best thing about quitting hun.... yes you have more money but the relationship between you and you child... will feel so much better roll on day 3 for you day 8 for me and i feel so brialliant xx tc shell

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Posted : 17th September 2008 12:06 am
*its time to change*
(@its-time-change)

hi shell,

i so can relate to your message...i have read some more diaries tonight will take a while to get through them but it does so help. wd hun on day 8 can't wait to say that myself... i've just gone onto the gamsoftware site and checked out the prices i will have to wait till i get paid which is the 25th this month...can't afford to do it till then... which i feel is the next step for me. I will then contact a debt agency for advice to show them i am working towards getting my life back xx

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Posted : 17th September 2008 12:12 am
potholesbabe
(@potholesbabe)

yes its the best thing i have done get gamble wotist i think its 44 dollars about 23 quid or sumit i didnt wanna get it at first cause i thort i could get it elsewhere for free but you cant unfortunatley and i sed o*g im not gonna pay for it lol then i realised what!!!!! i would happily gamble 100 a night on a bingo site .... weird huh...... hope you get it on the 25th hun i think thats when you get paid... best thing you have ever bought me too sieving thro diaries its all i d on a night time now think im addicted too this now lol.... well nowt else too do on a night time is there when you are bored as hell . lol you can add me on msn hun if you want my addy is @hotmail.com">michellecorrinaelliott@hotmail.com cause i get bored when the kids go too bed at 9 at least its sumit too do chat too peeps if ya feeling down n taht nowt else too do is there ((( well wud be playing bingo like lol)) but not not no morehahha)

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Posted : 17th September 2008 12:22 am
*its time to change*
(@its-time-change)

Hi shell

thank you again for posting...:) when my daughter has gone to bed...i get lost in the world of online bingo get so f*d up cos everyone is winning i end up going on the slots to win then it just gets worse. Have no limit and i just spend spend till i have woken up to the fact i have spent my shopping money my bill money..etc..then sit there in panic how on earth am i going to find the money. Well that was yesterday and new beginings today and many more years to come gamble free.

thankyou for you msn i will add you will be lovely to chat to you...

gx

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Posted : 17th September 2008 12:32 am
Lucy2
(@lucy2)

HI Time

Glad you started a diary.. Keep doing what you are doing..

Keep chipping away at the things you want to change and you will get where you want to be..

I am in a Debt Management plan with the CCCS, they work out a budget, interest is frozen and no more fees, no more letters and no more telehone calls.. When choosing an Agency please be carefull of the companies out there who profit from our situations as they don`t care about us just themselves.. The CCCS is a chariatble organisation they don`t jusdge you, and are there to help.. The nAtional debt line are good and they have an excellent website..

Once you have spoken to somebody about your debts and have somethign in place, it takes the edge of things and I promise you that it isn`t as bad as it once appeared..

It all seems a little overwheleming, I get that, but each day doing what you do, you will get there..

Nice on getting gamblock installed when you get paid.. Have you thought about self excluding from the sites in the meantime, its always a good time to do it when you are skint, takes away any temptation..

Love & Hugs

Lucy

xxx

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Posted : 17th September 2008 9:30 am
.
 .
(@)

Hi,

You have definately done the right thing in logging on to this web-site.

I myself was spiralling out of control before last Tuesday. I had turned into a 'different person' and hated myself for it. Coming on here has so far changed my whole attitude to gambling and made me look at it through a whole new perspective. In a way, I am looking from the outside now, whereas before I was so consumed by habit, that I was not thinking rationally and being incredably selfish.

We all need a second chance in live, when we get it, we have to grab it with both hands.

You mention that you have a daughter, be strong for her sake. I have two daughters (5 and 2) and now I am so focused on doing this for their sake.

I am on here most days, so if you need support just write.

Take care - YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Ade x x

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Posted : 17th September 2008 1:49 pm
*its time to change*
(@its-time-change)

Day 3..

Managed to go bed after the lovely chat with michelle she has a heart of gold!...fell asleep about 1ish first time for a while i've had some sleep. Still was hard getting up for work but once i got to work it felt great to be with people i love working with... today was the first time i wanted really change my life i still havn't rang any help lines as of yet...thankyou lucy the national debt line sounds very good..i feel i have to put gamsoftware on first to prove to myself i can do this. I have opened my msn to to my mail and guess what have mail offering me deals to go online bingo...to be honest i did open them but the vision of the bailiff at me door has stopped me even going any further. I'm also keeping me self busy tonight going out for dinner with a close friend and my daughter to our local ( got a voucher) lol...so shall be home about 9pm and i will be straight on here...i have thought about this diary all day its so helping me...i have realised i'm not happy where i'm living having probs with the landlord ...so another avenue to sort out. I'm not running away from my probs but a fresh start some where else will help me...

i can't believe 3 days and no bingo and slots..

i'm so glad i have joined this forum and thankyou guys for the lovely support

george x

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Posted : 17th September 2008 6:15 pm
potholesbabe
(@potholesbabe)

Hi George, ive just sat down.. can you beleive it lol 10pm o*g,, had a small tea part for my daughters 10th birthday was still cleaning up mess etc at 8 then bathed the kids, stories etc wow.... im so tired today tho but i need a few hours to wind down before heading off too bed.. im really glad we chatted last night although it was nearly 1 am haha... i will not learn will i anywayys tc chick you are doing really well 🙂 now must comment in my diary hahaa x

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Posted : 17th September 2008 10:58 pm
Tom77
(@tom77)

hi george!

day 4 for you, right? thanks so much for posting. i always thought reading other diaries was inspiring. you know, people seem to be so honest here and i can really identify with many feelings that are put down into writing. it's so encouraging knowing that you're not alone with your problems, feelings but also not with your joy. there are others here to cry and laugh with - fantastic!

so, i've been on your rollercoaster before. and my feelings are up and down all the time. it's crazy. but what's most important is the fact, that you take one day by another. waking up in the morning saying to yourself: it's a new day, and it might treat me well or less well, but i won't gamble today. at night before falling asleep it should be like a little party! yes, today i didn't gamble. no wasted money, no wasted feelings, etc.

take care, george, you're at a great place here! take 1 day after another, read diaries and let your diary and us know, how you're doing. noone will judge you, you can be 100% honest.

tom

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Posted : 18th September 2008 2:35 pm
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