Call free 0808 8020 133

Had a lapse yesterday, but thankfully it wasn't a 'full blown relapse'

Gerard G

I was doing so good going along the last few months, but yesterday I got the 'Itch'. I had some pocket money saved in my wallet and decided to do a little small gambling. Before I knew it i had lost $120.. Due to my financial controls (my wife has all access to bank accounts, credit and debit cards, house and car), i had to stop , not because of will power, but simply due to the fact that I had absolutely no money left to continue gambling. My advice to everyone: if you're in recovery, by all means stay in recovery, don't let your guard down, be always vigilant against the dangers of trying to beat the 'gambling machine.' Starting over, Day One. sigh

Topic starter Posted : 24th May 2022 2:37 pm


Thank you for your honesty and sharing.

You say you got the got the Itch what woud you say your emotional trigger or triggers was, pain fear frustrations loneliness or boredom.

It took me over 20 years to learn what my emotional triggers were but also to learn to heal m pains and reduce my fears.

Recetly, I did a list of every fear I expienced in my life.

Most of my fears were 10 out of 10.

Most of my fears are now in single figures.

I handed over my finances it took me a long time to do so yet I felt like I was being punished like I was a little school child.

Money was also a control issue for me.

Now I understand that I could not be trusted with money also I did not value money or value myself.

I used to be obsessed about not gambling, yet I was putting myself under pressure.

Then I gave up gambling because I wanted to, also it was a need to do thing.

I now understand that without the recovery program and having not had an addiction I would have never found out how unhealthy I was.

My addictions were a threat to my life and my wellbeing.

Sadly, in my recovery I now understand that I am a very small percentage of people who frind a very long healthy life after their addictions.

The thing i that I now understand that if I can do it any one can if they put great time and effort into their recovery.

Life is too precious today to put myself or others at risk today.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK



Posted : 25th May 2022 9:55 am
Gerard G

Very correct to ask what my trigger was. that is so important. For me it was boredom, i was just looking for some excitement it wasn't about the money

Topic starter Posted : 25th May 2022 11:05 pm


Thank you for sharing that.

Dave L

Posted : 25th May 2022 11:13 pm
Share this page

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more