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freda
(@freda)

Just feel really alienated. I don't want to mistrust men, I really don't. 

If you'd read my previous posts about the man I most recently met on a date, you'd know I had massive concerns about him being a healthy person - I go on What's app just now, though, and notice his profile picture is gone. o*g has he actually blocked me??!!! Yes, it appears so. Why would you block someone unless you were up to no good?! Why do I attract all these weirdos?

It's really destabilising. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th February 2020 8:33 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)

Freda,

Thank you so much for your lovely post on my diary. I am able to deal with things in bite size chunks at the mo so that is fine. You are right, one day at a time.  I hope you managed some rest last night and that you are feeling brighter today x

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Posted : 18th February 2020 11:25 am
freda
(@freda)

I'm OK, just feeling disconnected and flat. My brain seems to be functioning a bit better today. I drove a few mies yesterday and forgot to give way at a junction, there were cars coming but slowly. It struck me I was very lucky. I didn't realise I wasn't concentrating until it happened. There must be so many people driving around like that.

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Posted : 18th February 2020 11:32 am
Murlo
(@murlo)

Freda,

So sorry to hear about your experience, that must have been pretty scary. I know it isn’t pleasant to feel disconnected, I hope you can find something to ground yourself again soon. Thinking of you x

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Posted : 18th February 2020 11:45 am
freda
(@freda)

Thanks, Murlo xI

I have gained 15lbs the past year and a half. It gets me down, as I'm not doing anything different, really. Except being celibate. I think that keeps me reined in a bit more with eating, when I'm in a relationship. I'm getting needs met a better way, so the connection helps me not crave dopamine. But I certainly don't binge eat, or anything. Doesn't really justify a 15lb gain!

I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I try, with going to the gym. I only manage to go twice a week, probably. Would like to go more. I guess weather will hopefully be getting better! 

I'm losing hope there are any decent, emotionally healthy men out there! I'm not someone who has to be in a relationship but I've been single over 2 years and I'm lonely now.

I haven't been able to go dancing for a few weeks and am missing that, too. Really hope there's transport running this weekend.

I'm going to the gym in a bit. This evening, I'm out for someone from works' birthday. I'm really glad this girl has pulled out who is really aggressive and intimidating. She made it clear she didn't like me. I don't really care but didn't want to eat with her, really.

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Posted : 18th February 2020 11:51 am
freda
(@freda)

Meal out was nice and I felt comfortable with the people I didn't know.

Energy levels have slumped again. 

Today is day 56, I think. 8 weeks. 

This post was modified 2 days ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 21st February 2020 1:39 pm
Boo radley
(@boo-radley)

Well done freda. 

Glad you had a nice, eventful time xx

Boo 😘😘

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Posted : 21st February 2020 4:33 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

Hey Freda!

 

That is great achievement of almost 2 months! That is great!! 🙂..keep up good work..brick by brick..

 

I noticed my "wings" lifted (not literally...and not tena lady lol) after i hit century..gets more zest for life and the desire to carry on!

 

You're on the right track, keep up good work

 

S&B xx

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Posted : 23rd February 2020 7:07 pm
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