Going to keep this thread now!

Well done freda.... Xxx hope you are OK ? Boo 

Yes great stuff on the gamble free time. 🙂

As for that bloke, I think workaholism is encouraged in our society... economic growth and all that c**P.

We have an agency staff that has recently done 3 long days in a row (7 a.m till 10 pm) followed by a night shift. This shouldnt be allowed really. Ive done that sort of thing b4. Its not good for the individual or the people we support to be tired all the time. But he reality is that covering the rota is all that matters and if the person is prepared to do it, then so be it.

It a crazy world we live in. Work till death us do part. Am happy I work less hours

I just want to be listened to, tonight. Just having one of those days where I want to be heard and empathised with. 

Hey Freda, I am here to listenxx

Hi Freda,

I hear you as i'm sure we all do. You're not alone & i'm sure deep down your friend would love to be the kind understanding girl you are. Has it occurred to you that maybe it's the reason she is the way she is ?. I think she would probably give her right arm to be as loving, kind & as compassionate as you are.

Best Wishes

AL

Aww, thanks, guys. I just got drunk and ate a tub of ice cream.

My energy levels are swinging wildly, at the moment. 

Having a lethargic day. I'm at work 6-10pm, which is a crummy shift but it's a pleasant job that I do every few weeks. Changing the price tickets on the shelves, under my own steam, no-body to answer to, as long as I get it done in the allotted time. I also have more chance of catching the early bus and not having to wait 30 minutes for the next one.

Had a nice chat to a library co-worker, last night. People don't really talk to me much. I'm only in one day a week. He made an effort and it was appreciated. We looked at each other's pet photos. I met a couple of volunteers, yesterday morning, to do some cat cuddling. Glad the rescue cats will have more company.

Someone was really rude and aggressive to me before I started work, last night. I was so angry and wanted to cry. It was that patronising, passive-aggressive, fake smiling thing people do. She told me to stay in my own little daft bubble, or something like that. I wouldn't dare talk to anyone like that. 

It triggered a very vulnerable state of mind in me, I felt like I'd have gotten really angry or burst into tears, if someone had been nasty to me, after that.

I got through it and no-one was a d**k to me, today, thankfully. There's just something wrong with some people.

Oh Freda,

So sorry to read about your experience. Some people just don’t get how to interact properly with others. It’s usually their own insecurities surfacing. I am so pleased you got through it. Glad today was better. Keep going. You are doing mighty fine. Soak up some of that unconditional love from your moggy x

Today I'm not doing the outside world. I slept for 11 hours last night. 

I'm still in my bathrobe, eating hummus and oatcakes and drinking coffee. 

After my horrible talking to from a rude colleague on Tuesday, I'm not in the mood to have the widdle taken out of me last night.

I was excused from the self-scan torture devices a while ago because - shockingly - trying to attend to 12 tills at once, triggered my anxiety. However, I have agreed to cover breaks of up to 30 minutes for people, as I can see the team is under strain. Last night, I was asked to go on them for "a little while" and after 80 minutes and the supervisors not answering the buzzers, I walked off. Not even going to cover breaks anymore. That's what you get when you take the pee. 

It is becoming a horrendous place to work. Glad I'm only there 12 hours a week.

Today is day 49, I'm fed up with the world and angry. The exact mood when I'm most at risk of relapse. So, I'm staying home in my robe and wallowing in my own filth. The world will still be there tomorrow.

Hi Freda,

You take it easy today and try to have a relaxing time is possible. If not, today is just one day which you need to endure. Tomorrow could be fabulous.

Take care.

P.S. Those scanners are awful and the poor lady who works at them in the place I go to is forever stressed and on the verge of meltdown. I always try to give her some chat but sometimes she has a look of someone who could go bonkers at any second. So, I sympathise with your situation.

RR

Just feel really alienated. I don't want to mistrust men, I really don't. 

If you'd read my previous posts about the man I most recently met on a date, you'd know I had massive concerns about him being a healthy person - I go on What's app just now, though, and notice his profile picture is gone. o*g has he actually blocked me??!!! Yes, it appears so. Why would you block someone unless you were up to no good?! Why do I attract all these weirdos?

It's really destabilising. 

Freda,

Thank you so much for your lovely post on my diary. I am able to deal with things in bite size chunks at the mo so that is fine. You are right, one day at a time.  I hope you managed some rest last night and that you are feeling brighter today x

I'm OK, just feeling disconnected and flat. My brain seems to be functioning a bit better today. I drove a few mies yesterday and forgot to give way at a junction, there were cars coming but slowly. It struck me I was very lucky. I didn't realise I wasn't concentrating until it happened. There must be so many people driving around like that.

Freda,

So sorry to hear about your experience, that must have been pretty scary. I know it isn’t pleasant to feel disconnected, I hope you can find something to ground yourself again soon. Thinking of you x