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SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

She is not well and it's driving me crazy!

 

I dont know if its joints or similar but i see the difference. She very playfully however cautiously attempts to jump up and place her beautiful paws on my waste or reach out for a cuddle and then she suddenly cries in pain and goes back down. ...she allowed me to check her legs over. ..as always, very patient girl. ..i didnt pull or prod or moved them around. ..there are no visible injuries and that's why i came to this joint conclusion.

 

Will have to go vets to see whats going on. Maybe weather?...or maybe she pulled it somewhere last night. She had a good run around and all looked ok until the middle of the night when she woke up in pain.

 

She has been resting most of the day. Does not seem like it is comfortable for her to walk...and so we didnt head out today yet..

 

I am in the heap of tears because how could my baby start going through these changes? Because 7 years old is pretty young, ..because i shower her with love and care and because i sooo need her in my life as she changed me as a person and taught me so much!

 

My baby girl....please get well soon ❤🐾❤🐾❤🐾❤🐾❤ xx

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Posted : 8th July 2020 3:10 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

So following on from my last post...events rapidly escalated with my girl where i never felt so scared in my life. ...i thought she had a seizure or something...i never heard her cry so loud and so strong..and i never seen those eyes like that..fear and pain....and almost frozen stare..

 

I could not wait another day for vets. I rang up the only ones open and available and sobbed out the worries/ concerns i have. They registered Bells with their practice and asked me to come at 18:00.

 

5 minutes later she had an awful cry out again and just looked ....so so much in pain. Her body kinda seized up...this broke my heart irreparably and i rang back to vets saying im so sorry but i cannot wait, any chance we can come in now.

 

To some miracle they found a slot just 10mins later...i went downstairs to get the lead ready for her and of course she thought she is going for walkies..o*g...she tried her best to stand up...still shaking and crying...but she wanted to go out. It took good 8 mins to help her down the stairs and i never want to experience that pain having to see her hurting so much. ...we somehow managed to get to the car...still in pain and crying...

 

The vet took her inside and i just left outside waiting...crying...pacing...crying.

 

Its weird because just before we arrived there was a lady outside with a dog. The vet took the doggie and led it inside. The lady made her way to the car...in tears...we had split acknowledgment of each other...me crying and stroking lil girl in tbe back of the car and her painfully walking away from her  beloved pet (hopefully just temporary)...this made me think,..just how much love we have for our pets...how we go through the pain and suffering same as they do.. How loyal we are trying to repay the loyalty they show us...its endless...i sworn i will never have a pet again...simply cause i cannot see them hurt or age...its too much for me to bare ...

 

The vet taken lil girl back out. The news?she possibly sprained her back and right leg. ..which explains how she struggled to place that leg down and the whole seizure episode earlier on in bed...

 

She had a shot for pain and i left with medication for a week. Strict instructions to look after her and try and not allow her up the stairs...plenty of rest...back to the vet on Monday.

 

And so i set up a bed downstairs now. Thinking how to feed the bitter pill later on and just cuddle her for as much as i can. Medicine shot works...she is a bit gone out and just sits there staring to the distance.

 

I dont think i was so scared and defeated before. I felt powerless in taking the pain away. I could not do anything to comfort her. ..and this is truly difficult to experience.

 

I shall try my best to be there for her through her recovery...she is my little fighter...she is my world and she WILL pull through.

 

S&B xx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th July 2020 5:50 pm
Bal
 Bal
(@bal)

Hi Sandra,

Very scary to read your post and i miss my lad every day.

Sending you both lots of good positive thoughts and lots of hugs.

Best xx

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Posted : 9th July 2020 9:00 pm
Aum
 Aum
(@aum)

Hello Sandra. 

Sorry to read that Bella has been hurting. I hope that she is feeling better today.

Take care dear friend.

 

Stephen x x 

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Posted : 9th July 2020 9:25 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

Thank you Stephen and Bal xx

 

Im gonna try and type..writing the thoughts down is very difficult recently..i rather shut down and suffer in silence.

 

She is ok, on the road to recovery. I don't know how much of the future this event has changed but we must wait and see. I try to do my part and continue to be a good momma. We sleep downstairs now, i steadily re introduce her to calm and slow walk, we cuddle ....A LOT!

 

The event however taken something away from me. The zest for life maybe? Im Very fortunate to have her by my side but i cry so much just of the thought about what has happened and about what's to come. The light has dimmed in me, i really struggle to recover.

 

I get to see the glimpse of  brightest sparkle in her eyes in the morning and late evening, that's a  brief joy /blessing before i give her the medication...and  very soon after she changes into this tired and sleepy doggie, not much focusing on things..with those moments part of me silently shuts down also. 

 

My heart is truly heartbroken. I am  not sure if im allowed to feel the way i do or i need some sort of psychiatric help..have i lost it now?? 

 

Umm..its been 3 days since i turned to my higher power - god as i understand him and asked to pray and help heal her...3 days since i asked the whole universe to come together and also pray for her..and you know, thousands of people around the world did and still do..people i never met  before but ppl who knows how painful (and joyful!) to have a pet is.

 

Yet, im struggling...im very greatful of course ..but this acceptance and repairing of shock really comes at slow pace... i just don't know anymore.

 

Thank you Stephen and Bal for your kind words in this dark and painful hour of ours.

 

Blessings

 

S&B xx

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Posted : 10th July 2020 3:05 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Good evening Sandra,

I just wanted to say how sorry we are to hear that Bella is unwell.

She truly is an amazing support and companion so I completely understand how heartbreaking it is seeing her unwell. 

You are doing an amazing job with her, you have provided her with the best level of care she can get to recover from her injury. I am sure she is fully appreciating the extra cuddles she is getting and all the love you are showing her, including temporarily both moving downstairs.

Wishing Bella a speedy recovery, but please do take care of yourself too during this difficult time.

Kind regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin 

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Posted : 10th July 2020 10:51 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Cuddles for (((((Bella))))) and for Sandra too ((((You))))

Sending gentle woofs over the internet... in a non-mad way of course 🙂

S.A x

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Posted : 11th July 2020 8:42 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

Hi..Thank you both so so much...the posts put my heavy heart at ease a little..i appreciate your support Chris and SA.

 

Today i thought that i did pretty well..I didn't cry ya see...until now. ..because i started thinking, again. ..sigh...its difficult.

 

My family and her cousin visited last night. It brought joy to me and lil girl. She appeared her old self again...until i had to give her her medication...

 

She is recovering tho..i took her to a very quiet park today. We had a stroll...she loved it..

 

She eats and finally managed no2 on her walks..she struggled last 4 days but now i am a bit at peace since she went. Greatful for the advice vet gave me yesterday when i frantically returned concerned about that issue...

 

I..i am depressed. I know that and i feel that. It all has just changed like a cut with a knife. Im glad i done most of the decoration before this unfortunate incident as ...now i do nothing. Curtains been drawn since 11am today. I stay in bed in the room...cook and look after her of course but zero other things on my mind. Lost love for life...i have..

 

Still not sure if i will be able to return to my bedroom. Thats where the episode happened with her screaming in pain & fitting..or more like, getting frozen in pain. Will never forget what my eyes have seen...:-(

 

Its almost a year on no online gambling ....this is good. I did get a scratchcard today tho. Not sure why. I am a bit dead walking. I just asked for it...scratched it and binned it. No emotion...nothing..i don't even know why i bought it...maybe for a minute thought of a lucky escape hitting a jackpot and not having to return to work. ..i don't want to go back. I am no longer who i am..

 

Anyway,..that's me.

 

I truly appreciate your support Chris and SA...Chris, we have had few discussions in the past and i am very happy and blessed that you understand me. ...The bond with pets can be as strong as with humans...and you seem to get it...thank you.

 

Blessings all, stay safe

 

S&B xx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11th July 2020 5:35 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi SB28. Sometimes bond is stronger as dogs don't judge and give unconditional love. They dont care if you're fat,thin ,ugly ,pretty. Don't care if you couldn't be bothered to do your hair and make-up. When I had my first miscarriage I was griefstricken and depressed we decided to get our first German shepherd Cass she was a joy and so naughty lol but I had to make an effort get up and take care of her nurture her she saw me through 4 miscarriage in all before we had our longed for baby boy. She fell in love with him at first sight they were thick as thieves the pair of them. We thought our son liked ham sandwiches until we caught him feeding Cass the ham and he was eating the bread and butter. Fast forward son is now 15 we have Jinx 6yrs and Magi 1yr( must not leave out Koko who was our 2nd lovely girl ). My son has my love of dogs and in fact all animals. So I understand how you feel and I'm hoping both of you feel a little better every day.

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Posted : 11th July 2020 9:45 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

Hi charlieboy ...thank you so much for such heartwarming post. You have gone through so much and i am only so pleased to read that you had four legged companions alongside you all the way! The emotional support they provide is magical!...Bread and butter huh....cheeky but excellent partners in crime 😉. Dogs gives us more than we realise and its just simply a blessing in our lives.... wish you well & hope you're looking after yourself and a little "gang" you have in your household  xx

 

Diary,

 

A bit better today. She continues to show strength, motivation and eagerness to bounce back! Taken her for a walk and she found a treat in a shape of a football ....so yup, can imagine how active and alive she became! Football is not shredded yet but of course was brought back in my back garden as she just would not let go of it!..simple things huh...i wish i could bounce back to life after having a game with a ball lol..

 

Vets tomorrow and even if i dont have many concerns recently, we shall see what doc says.  She is not displaying pain or discomfort which is a blessing indeed. We are still down stairs and even if she escaped to her "office" upstairs last night to do all her favourite neighbourhood watch stuff...she came back down and spent rest of the evening downstairs.. im gonna leave the setting as it is. I dont even go upstairs myself except to use the toilet...

 

So that's me. Maybe fix something to eat for myself as feeling a bit on a weak side physically. Maybe a little fitness class (online) will follow later on. Shall see how i get on.

 

Stay safe all, blessings....and thank you charlieboy again...your comforting words truly appreciated xx

 

S&B xx

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Posted : 12th July 2020 11:46 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

I'm so glad I took the time to reply. If I made you smile or feel a little bit of lightness when you are so down then I've achieved a good thing. I really hope that you can feel a little better every day and I think you will as she gets stronger. She seems to be enjoying her exercise that's good and I know you don't like the effect the medicine has on her but she's showing you that it's working. Keep the 2 of you safe and sending wishes from my 2 girls to your girl xx

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Posted : 12th July 2020 1:19 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Hiya Sandra 

Just wanted to stop by and say you've done amazing and I hope your proud off yourself and inspiration you pass on to us all for that I thank you and wish you all the best 

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Posted : 13th July 2020 8:39 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)

Thank you @charlieboy and Kev....Charlie, i left a reply on your diary but not sure if you seen it because due to current circumstances of my account, they appear in a later time ...wrote the post from the heart so guess wanted to make sure you got it...

 

Diary,

 

A bit heavy heart today. I so don't like to give her the medication. She just goes so...drowsy and...just different dog altogether. When i gave it to her this morning, i knew i have about an hout before it starts working...so i took her to the park where we had a good walk round it...twice. She also had her brekkies, plenty of water and a bit of crazy running around ...almost zoomies...this however made her sick a little and i had to make sure that the tablet is not spat out...which it wasn't..

 

Now she sleeps...we gotta go to vets in the next few hours and i am a bit anxious.  She doesn't show signs of pain but im terrified if this will happen again. ..what if im at work and she suffers in such pain?...o*g..i cannot bare thinking of this...

 

Gonna ask vet about joint supplements or even CBD oil. I read some are legal with vets prescription so shall see what they say...anything to help her if she feels in pain or her muscles/joints are aging as time goes by...and so provides discomfort.

 

Thinking if should paint at least one door. The thing is i struggle to stay upstairs..its the memory ....cant believe all this traumatised me so much! My heart still hurts but i am doing slightly better as didn't cry yesterday and ...kinda stopping the eyes welling up today..

 

That's me. It is what it is. We work with what we have and deal with emotions accordingly.

 

Blessings

S&B xx

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13th July 2020 10:56 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi hope your lovely girl is a little better again today and therefore you will feel a bit better too. Let's say my relationship with my husband is something that I'm not ready to address as my son is 15 has a close relationship with his dad and I want to give him a few more years of the stability of both parents. He knows that me and his dad have difficulties but as our relationship is not physically abusive or lots of bad arguments I'm not willing at the moment to change things. If things got to affect my son that would be different. So I'm going along at the moment my feeling at the moment is eventually I want to live alone. Spoke to the counsellor about it this morning, she said id" sowed  a seed"..... So I'm guessing I'm waiting to see what grows !! Take care of you and your pup x

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Posted : 13th July 2020 12:10 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Hiya SB28

I'm so sorry to hear about your companion as I lost my beloved meisha 4mth ago and people may think me weird but it hit me worse than when my mum died. We got her as a rescue when she was about 8mth old. Strange dog but beautiful with it she was a cross between a staffy and a spanial so you imagine a staf with a long coat and spaniel ear's, I've got very fond memories, you know with all our rabbits she would play in the run with them so gentle just a wonderful companion. She took a fit out back and you could see she was just holding on. We called the vet out to the house later on that day as we just knew it was time and she hated vet's so we wanted her to go at home in piece, the vet was amazing gave her some sedation and went out to the car giving us as much time as we needed to say our goodbyes. Then came in and let her go to sleep. You know she was about 18yrs old and had a good life with us and there is no way I would ever get another dog as no one would replace my meisha, so I know where your comming from my friend and I pray everything goes well for you as the bond can't be replaced or broken. I will be looking out for the happiness comming back from the vet's good luck 

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Posted : 13th July 2020 1:12 pm
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