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stu38
(@stu38)
Posts: 259
 

Hi Sandra

well done on your 10 days- brilliant! you can do it. I've just read your diary and really identify with it, I too have been dreaming about gambling and been feeling really low for a lot of my 20 gamble free days. I know that is to do with just missing the rush of it. I don't want to go back to those horrible feelings of despair and shame when I lost and lost and lost.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chat- I've really valued it too, wasn't able to get on there last night as was working but its really good to talk with others who understand.

stay strong- you can do it.

we will not gamble today

Stux

 
Posted : 30th May 2013 7:36 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Thanx Stu for the post.

Well day 11 today, all my good last night feeling gone. New day i start miserable again... don't gamble, but going to casino town for my meeting. Temptations already there....I went so far . Cmon God please give me strentgh. I can do it, i want to do it, i get so much support and cant get back to square 1...

Cmon bring it on evil mashines, i dont need you anymore!

 
Posted : 30th May 2013 11:47 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Sandra, 10 days on I can't sleep those intrusive thoughts haunt me, I feel sick, I don't feel good, but I hope one day these thoughts will leave me, walk past the place and hate what it has done, imagine those machines covered in stinking manure, an evil cancer, we don't need em we re not gonna take it anymore..

We can do it together we are strong, focus on day to day things then one day Liberation.. stay strong

 
Posted : 30th May 2013 12:06 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Proud of myself today,went to see counselor, and quite easily managed to walk pass all of them "entertaining places" , and found myself on a beach instead, having a little quiet time.

Rocky road ahead, im ready - i wont turn back anymore.

Keep strong everyone, there is no 1 in a team!

 
Posted : 30th May 2013 6:39 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey Sandra

It was great to catch up in "chat". You deserve to be proud- you are doing great!

I find it useful to anticipate potentially difficulties and work out a wee plan to manage them- looks like you did that today 🙂

I hope the session went well.

Hopefully catch up soon

Irene

x

 
Posted : 30th May 2013 8:01 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Thanx for your post Irene, i hope we catch up more in future;-)

Day 12 , im getting there slowly,seems like loosing my marbles a bit, but at least dont spend money. I feel another sleepless night ahead. Oh i hate it when cant sleep before my night shifts..been strange day altogether, too emotional, but here i am looking forward and facing reality.

Keep strong all of you, its worth looking to the future, changes always on a way. Only little step at the time - makes big difference ahead.

Thank you for all the support xx

 
Posted : 31st May 2013 1:39 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 
 
Posted : 31st May 2013 1:39 am
stu38
(@stu38)
Posts: 259
 

hey Sandra

thanks for posting on my diary and lovely to talk with you on chat.

Well done for walking past temptation yesterday- you can do it, one day at a time.

Stuxx

 
Posted : 31st May 2013 8:44 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Time goes slow today, tried to enjoy sunshine as much as possible. My mind is still racing, cravings still there, don't seem to get any easier. It's a shame, can't do any physical activities, feel a bit weak, since my mind decide to put my body on a "diet" .

Step by step i will put this puzzle of my life together, have to stay strong and beat this destroying disease.

roll on day 13

Stay strong everyone

 
Posted : 31st May 2013 3:38 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Sandra

You are doing great! 12 days- fab 🙂

I'm sure the "racing mind" will settle as you get more used to thinking without the gambling "fog". You are right, take it a wee bit at a time. Remember, the cravings are only thoughts (horrible ones!) but so long as we don't act on them we'll be fine 🙂

Have a great weekend and keep at it!

Irene

x

 
Posted : 31st May 2013 10:27 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Thanx Irene for your post, you are great support:-)

Well day 13... Not much to comment on that.. still at work, still few hours to rack up...found myself struggling with duties tonight. Hopefully better mood later on today.

Anyway nearly 2 weeks - keep it going..

There is a tiny little light at the end of the tunnel..

Stay strong everyone, best wishes

X

 
Posted : 1st June 2013 1:00 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Thanx Irene for your post, you are great support:-)

Well day 13... Not much to comment on that.. still at work, still few hours to rack up...found myself struggling with duties tonight. Hopefully better mood later on today.

Anyway nearly 2 weeks - keep it going..

There is a tiny little light at the end of the tunnel..

Stay strong everyone, best wishes

X

 
Posted : 1st June 2013 1:35 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Hi diary,

Restless night,run myself of my feet at work. A good thing though, the urge start going away. Bad thing - started emotional War with myself. Feel like all the running from my problems finally caught up with me, and hit me full force. Not sure if it's one of the feelings you should feel, overcoming this problem, but i surely didn't expect that.

I was constantly repeated, it's not going to be easy, it is a bumpy road, just didn't realized it can hit me through my past memories.

Anyway, time to pick myself up, and look forwards, i'm more and more determent every day to beat it . I know i can do and i will try my best and will. Roll on day 14 ! (yay nearly 2 weeks)

Thank you all for your support,

Stay strong, and remember - step at the time.

Sandra

 
Posted : 1st June 2013 12:33 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey Sandra

I know that post- nightshift feeling too well, yuk!

You are doing really well. You are right, the road can be bumpy but as each day passes, you'll deal with the bumps differently or even manage to avoid them 🙂

Keep up the great effort

Irene

x

 
Posted : 1st June 2013 9:35 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
Topic starter
 

Hey Irene,

Well you make me laugh:-) yea, i know it might not help me rest wise, but it is at least a job. Keeps you motivted.

I hope you have a lovely weekend, thank you for you support

X

 
Posted : 1st June 2013 10:16 pm
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