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Jfield13
(@jfield13)

I recently self excluded with Gamstop, so I was gamble free for 6 months, then after the 6 month I had it removed so started gambling, which ended with me losing quite a lot of ££ but I really enjoyed it till I looked in my bank.  So I’ve now self excluded for another 6 month and put the day in my phone when the 6 month is up so I can remove it again. I’m scared to self exclude for any longer because I know I won’t be able to bet. I just think because I’ve went 6 month GF I can control it better. But I already know I’ll end up losing again. I know I should self exclude for 5 years but can’t do it. Anyone feel the same? 😕

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Posted : 14th July 2020 11:28 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

Why bother with the six months exclusion? Just get rid of all of your money now, It'll save time later.

I wonder if anyone reads any other posts on here or maybe thinks that all of the problems that come with being a problem gambler don't apply to them!

You have already shown that you can't control it by self excluding, gambling and losing more and then self excluding again. You hold onto some illusion that it'll be different next time. Here's a secret that not many people know. It will be different, it'll be worse. 

This illness gets worse over time, not better. Exclude yourself for as long as possible.

Chris.

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Posted : 14th July 2020 11:58 am
Jfield13
(@jfield13)

I agree with everything you say, but my point is why Gamstop give the 6 month option! It’s not exactly hard to remove after the 6 month. IMO it should be one option 5 year or more. 

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Posted : 14th July 2020 12:57 pm
laird1988
(@laird1988)

It’s irrelevant what options they give, if you are at the point that most people are on these forums, then choosing the maximum amount of time is a given. 
Nobody who has reached the point of despair would be self excluding but also thinking, ‘I fancy more of this misery in sox months’. If you go back to gambling it should be a mistake, a moment of weakness, not because you planned for it. 
It sounds like you are lucky and haven’t yet reached the point that many of us are at, but you can be certain that with a relaxed attitude you will not be in the same boat further down the line. 
Stop it now while it hasn’t completely destroyed your life and self esteem and use other people’s awful experiences to realise that it is not what you want with your life. 
For your own sake, log back into Gamstop and change it to 5 years

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Posted : 14th July 2020 2:33 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

The reason they give options is not everyone wants to stop completely, some just want to limit their gambling and occasionally take a break away from doing it. 

Even some counselling services try to offer what the individual wants, so again, cut down or limit their gambling, or get some pretence of control over it.

Ultimately the choice to self exclude is down to the individual, but the fact that this blocking tool is available is such a wonderful option that so many problem gamblers never had before, and it amazes me when you make a note on your calendar to tell you when it's clear. 

I also think that Gamstop is a slight hindrance to people's recovery in some cases, as a lot of people think that all you need to do is register and suddenly you're in recovery. It should be used hand in hand along with GA or counselling aimed at changing oneself and being able to deal with situations that come along that you'd normally run away from.

If that doesn't make sense it could be that you're at a stage where it's about lost money and maybe a wanting to gamble but with control. The reason I get annoyed is there are so many people on here who have clearly lost so much more than just money, me included, and the point of taking time to write to you is to try to help you see where you will end up.  Even if you extend your exclusion to a year that'll hopefully be another six months of peace.

Good luck with your decision 

Chris.

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Posted : 14th July 2020 3:12 pm
DeterminedDan
(@determineddan)

I agree with Chris. My honest opinion of GamStop, as a stand-alone recovery tool, is that it doesn’t really work. I’m very much into statistics and I’d love to know what percentage of people, who are ONLY using GamStop as a recovery tool, have either circumvented the system or found sites to gamble on WHILST signed up to it? I’d say it’s pretty high.  
It needs to be using in conjunction with other tools for it to become effective.
As for signing up for 6 months, I really don’t understand that option either. People who seek out GamStop are not looking to ‘take a break’ from gambling. They’re seeking it out because things are getting out of control (or already have done). The adverts won’t say so but the reality is if you’re searching for GamStop, you have admitted to yourself that you have serious problems with gambling and a lack of self control. I don’t buy into this idea that people do it to take a break. That to me is nonsense. There are tools within gambling sites to help with taking a break. If you need the use of GamStop to take a break from gambling then you’re already in dangerous territory. In my opinion you shouldn’t be contemplating heading back there afterwards. There is a high chance that nothing will have changed and you’ll continue to gamble yourself into trouble. 

The only reason people choose 6 months is exactly what the OP has said. They don’t want to commit to any longer in case they miss it. 

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Posted : 14th July 2020 3:47 pm
Muststop123
(@muststop123)

I struggled mentally to sign up to Gamstop for the full five years over a couple of days and then finally came to the realisation that the fact I did not want to sign up for five years meant I really needed to.

In the back of my mind  signing up for 6 months or a year meant I was not really serious about stopping - it would be a period of not gambling but I would probably have spent it hiding money away ready for the end of the exclusion. I felt slightly sick when I finally pressed the button as I realised I could not gamble again for five years despite what gambling had put me through, my brain was still trying to convince me that the drug like thrill I got from gambling was worth the associated pain and despair. I still would not trust myself to be without Gamstop - plan is when I get to a year left of my five years to sign up for another 5 years, I do not want to get to within a couple of months of the five years completing and find any excuse to ask for the exclusion to be lifted. 

Muststop123

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Posted : 14th July 2020 3:52 pm
PointyHat
(@pointyhat)

I've just excluded myself for another year after recently re-activating my gambling accounts.

I know your feeling too well, I didn't want to choose the five year option because I felt like I might be able to control it in a year but who am I kidding? It actually feels like a fear to select the higher options when in fact they are the options that will just protect us more.

I agree with Dan above that if you need to use GamStop you have an issue, I apply the same logic to Deposit Limits and other controls gambling sites bring out. Yes they may stop you stop depositing X amount but if you are losing track of how much you are spending and need the limit then you are not in my opinion in control. I've tried them myself and if I've hit my deposit limit on one site I just go to the next. They just fool you into thinking you are doing something good.

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Posted : 14th July 2020 3:58 pm
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi if you read pop124s posts how do they make you feel? When I read posts like that I wish that there was a button on gamstop that said "forever" exclusion.

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Posted : 14th July 2020 4:21 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi Jfield13

My considered view is this.

Gamstop is one tool in your toolbox. Its quite a good tool but not the only tool you will need to fight a gambling addiction. Its not the most important factor and you will need a born again moment to build new foundations.

You need to talk through your gambling sessions with someone close. You need to write down and face what you have lost. A gambling addiction doesnt automatically get better after a short break or reset. This is because your addiction will accept a specified break knowing its chance will come again...your addiction laughs at casual willpower....it laughs at you because its a split mind illness.

Some dont even manage a day because the addiction is just too strong without full help and support

Once addicted you have no control. Youve seen what it did to you time and time again...breaks are no sign of real control in a progressive illness. I had breaks away when i was working but was soon back binge gambling everything I had.

Its the reactions and look on your families faces that will set your reality meter...its your bank statements that you need to look at.  You know its not an income scheme and it doesnt get suddenly better because you've had a refreshing break

Gambling has new lows in store for you...deep new lows because the gambling  dens want your money and they are glad when people get hooked like lab rats.

 Like any drug addiction, the longer you gamble the bigger highs you need and the bigger mistakes you make while under its hypnotic illness.

Permanent abstention is what you need. "Controlling it better" shows that you dont really understand the sheer power of and addiction thats now in your bones. If you ever could have controlled it you wouldnt be here.

I should never have gone near gambling because I have no control over it. maybe its genetic or maybe I was an out of control addict within days.  I wanted the reward advertised at all costs...I craved the drug of having a go. Whatever the answer gambling was killing me and I had to stop.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 4 weeks ago 2 times by Joydivider
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Posted : 15th July 2020 9:44 am
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