Support us

Gamblers anonymous - your first session?  

 
NoInterest9
(@nointerest9)

Hi there. 
I have been gambling for est 10 years and I am 30yo. 
I have tried visiting GPs, speaking with gamcare(the guys are great on the phones by the way), and had around 15 hours of hypnotherapy in attempts to assist me to just stop gambling. 
Where methods have works in short term, I always fall back into the gambling an find myself with £0 hours after I’ve been paid. 
I am in Gamstop but I use my friends accounts and bet on my phone bill and also lots of cash in shops. 

I honestly at this stage am positive I am never going to stop. The urge is just too much to fight and ignore. As soon as I have even £5 to my name I’ll be in the bookies trying to win X amount. 

the one action I haven’t done is to attend a gamblers anonymous which I am also hesitant and shy away from. I get anxious I’ll see someone I know and be judged(I know that’s just stupid to feel that way). 
I just wanted to hear of experiences people have or their first GA session and how it helped them. 
cause frankly I’m in so much debt, fed up and exhausted of spending all my time and money gambling, all I think about at work is gambling and money. 

Quote
Posted : 14th January 2020 10:19 am
EsoxLucius
(@esoxlucius)

It reminded me of gambling and people there seemed to be hugely depressed and down. They hypocritically spoke to me like c**P even though they gambled a week previously . I just keep my mind off gambling individually.  I don't need to be reminded twice a week about gambling, I'm trying to get away from the thoughts of gambling completely.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th January 2020 3:25 pm
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posted by: NoInterest9

Hi there. 
I have been gambling for est 10 years and I am 30yo. 
I have tried visiting GPs, speaking with gamcare(the guys are great on the phones by the way), and had around 15 hours of hypnotherapy in attempts to assist me to just stop gambling. 
Where methods have works in short term, I always fall back into the gambling an find myself with £0 hours after I’ve been paid. 
I am in Gamstop but I use my friends accounts and bet on my phone bill and also lots of cash in shops. 

I honestly at this stage am positive I am never going to stop. The urge is just too much to fight and ignore. As soon as I have even £5 to my name I’ll be in the bookies trying to win X amount. 

the one action I haven’t done is to attend a gamblers anonymous which I am also hesitant and shy away from. I get anxious I’ll see someone I know and be judged(I know that’s just stupid to feel that way). 
I just wanted to hear of experiences people have or their first GA session and how it helped them
cause frankly I’m in so much debt, fed up and exhausted of spending all my time and money gambling, all I think about at work is gambling and money. 

First went in 1987 - helped enormously, and I stopped for 4 months.

But I moved cities, fell off wagon and stopped going. Biggest regret of my life.

Still fondly remember a guy from Leeds (George) who chaired it and another ('Falkirk' Jim).

I don't go now, but I do put into practice much of what I learned there. Pity it took me another 30 years of idiocy.

 

Not remotely like 'esoxlucius' experience but every meeting will be different.

You will get out what you put in.

Standing in front of a group and admitting you are a compulsive was very cathartic, exhilarating in a way (as you are basically terrified, at least I was).

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th January 2020 4:00 pm
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

 

Hi

I would recommend you to have a talk to an NLP or CBT therapist and preferably someone with a history of dealing with gambling addiction. Combine it with hypnotherapy ( obviously not the one you have gone to) you have the fastest fix I can think of. Almost anyone will ask you what it is you want and unfortunately the idea of controlled gambling does not work when you have impulse control disorder. The switch can only be on or of in this case. If they find that they can work with you there is a good chance you will get some new tools that you can work with to stop.  

Good luck and remember the best win is not playing at all.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th January 2020 8:24 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Look no interest...... if everyone could take a fiver and turn it into more by gambling nobody would go to work. What do you know that millions of others dont... the secret of lucky clover??

Have you told anyone close? Have you handed control of your cash away. Have you done anything strong that we advise for recovery? I would think not based on what you say

Its a drug addiction. You have the urge to play which is essentially an urge to give away the money in your pocket.

If you are not ready to stop there is nothing anybody can do to help you.

My view is this...you need reality checks and that usually comes from a partner or a deep low caused by gambling.

You have effectively NO blocks so the door is wide open......How is that stopping? all the hypnotherapy and counselling can only help if you have already built the strong foundations....if you are truly ready to fight this

I would try a GA meeting but if you havent had the born again moment of openness honesty and self exclusion what is that actually going to achieve?

I wont soft soap you. You have to be ready for a long term recovery. Gambling doesnt seem to have hurt you enough to feel the relief that you are getting proper help.

You seem resigned to your fate which is a comfort zone your addicted mind has created...your split mind likes you to gamble.... it likes the fix. I dont think you actually understand what you are dealing with....you are not in control of your own mind....is that not scary to you....it should be!

Recovery is cold turkey...its not playing at it within your deluded comfort zone. This addiction is the worst going because it will empty your bank account in no time at all

Im going to sound tough because when you finally snap into reality its the tough people you will actually thank...not those saying there there and take care.

Somebody should be pushing you into a GA meeting after taking all your money off you for safe keeping!....Get Me? This is no silly game about a flutter....it kills people!

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 7 months ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 3:58 am
NoInterest9
(@nointerest9)

Thanks for your replies guys. 

@joydivider. I agree that I have become resigned to my own fate now, my family who are aware and have tried things for me to help, say I just come across nonchalant and don’t give a s**t when people try to help. I guess this is because I am in 10s of thousands of debt and in my state I don’t see a way back. 
And then even if I did find a way to pay out of debt in the future years what’s to stop a relapse and do it all again. 

to say gambling hasn’t hurt me enough to take action isn’t correct. I lost my last long term partner who I lived with because of gambling, I’ve had days calling in sick to work as I didn’t have money for petrol and to ashamed to tell people, I wake up every single morning and my first thought is the sinking feeling I have no money but want a bet. I don’t enjoy my life or lifestyle and the only time I ever get to truly release and enjoy my time temporarily is via intoxication with friends. 

My parents have bailed me out and been nice about it years ago and I know and now they do, that this approach is a waste of time and money. 
I don’t want pity or sympathy I want someone to be on my case daily and give me tough loving into stopping.ultimately I feel I had my chance to stop again and again and never take it 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 1:54 pm
Danpo19892019
(@danpo19892019)

I felt so anxious on my first drop in to ga but the people  there made me feel so welcome, always someone by the door to great newcomers. It's nice to know that there is others like you, me , us.

I love to hear peoples shares each week , I suffer from anxiety quite bad been prescribed something quite strong actually not sure if you've heard of them, pregabalin (lyrica) well anyhow I still felt so nervous and sick on my 1st visit to ga looking back now I smile when I think about it. 

I've only been attending for 5 weeks but i think it may be part of my life now. Its crazy to see some people have been there for 10 plus years and g***** free still !!! If it works it works.

Good luck in the future hope you can overcome this nasty disorder.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 4:21 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

I just wanted a reaction from you no interest as I cant cover everything in a first reply.

It seems you are escaping from life with intoxication. Thats what gambling is  just like drink drugs and smoking...a hit a release and escape from life

What price is your life to you because its priceless. That may sound twee when you are jaded but its true. Then again you have to be enjoying life to a healthy extent and not escaping from it.

You cant pay those debts so it seems time to write them off. Are you on a top footballers salary 🙂 because otherwise they will just make you ill.

You need financial advice. Thats what bankruptcy is there for because otherwise there is no escape from debts you have no way of paying. without a bankruptcy procedure peoples minds would blow. Its not there to shame you...its a legal process you may need....you wouldnt be the only one would you

There is life after bankruptcy. If you get your life in order there is no reason to be totally skint even with a minimum wage job if you manage things correctly.

Yes life isnt a bowl of cherries it can get tough but there are simple pleasures. I dont have a car or a big home but I get by...I eat well and Im warm in winter...nobody is there to hand me money on a plate...least of all gambling

again im goung to be tough on you...you seem seriously clinically depressed and ive been there. You can build with openness and honesty. Tell your parents you are a compulsive gambler because nobody you love should be throwing good money after bad.

Let the creditors worry about  the debt...Its not the local loan shark is it? you cant pay it...they shouldnt have lent it and they are insured against risk...its as simple as that.

Its your mental health thats important...its not material possessions or where you live at this point...its about saving yourself and realising whats important.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 7 months ago by Joydivider
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 6:23 pm
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posted by: NoInterest9

 I guess this is because I am in 10s of thousands of debt and in my state I don’t see a way back. 
And then even if I did find a way to pay out of debt in the future years what’s to stop a relapse and do it all again. 

I don’t want pity or sympathy I want someone to be on my case daily and give me tough loving into stopping.ultimately I feel I had my chance to stop again and again and never take it 

There is always a way back. 

I had a debt maybe similar to you (just above £40k) and 16 months in haven’t put a massive dint in it (now £34k).

 

I know this much. People in worse states than me turned things around. If I had kept gambling it would have just got worse.

its hard work, but no one is going to do it for you.

if you want tough love, then start attending GA meetings and go as many times as you can.

If you are using your friends account well tell them in no uncertain terms not to allow you. And no matter how much you beg in future, never allow you again.

 

what are you waiting for ?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 6:28 pm
Lost and Found
(@lost-and-found)

Same, about 40 grand. I am paying down maybe 3 or 4 grand a year, but actually paying twice that in payments, due to the interest. Only about half of what I pay actually comes off debt and this used to be a terrible trigger for me. I obsessed over the debt, instead of my recovery and it only made me relapse time and time again.

I realised I needed to focus on myself, on change and on my mindset. I worked at just getting my thinking right, living in the moment and filling my time with positive things that gave me my confidence back and gave meaning to my life. I started to think less and less about gambling and less and less about debt. I just got on with being me.

I made direct debits for all my debts so that I didn't have to think about them and so I didn't have to go in each month and see how much of my payment they had robbed me in interest. It really helped to free me up to just think about myself and focus on ways to prevent myself from repeating the same mistakes. 

I learned to unravel my gambling and seen the error in my way of thinking. Recovering from gambling wasn't about paying off the debt, it was about getting my life back. I wanted to quit gambling long before I actually succeeded, but I was impatient with the debt and wanted to run before I could walk. I thought that I couldn't really move on because the problems I made for myself in the past were still there in my present.

I didn't see the point in leaving gambling behind while the debt was still with me and I tried to erase my mistakes by gambling instead of learning to live with what I had done. Acceptance is key to moving forward. Also, making yourself a priority, not the debt. If you improve your life in positive ways, the debt will improve too. 

Why plan on failing? What stops you from doing it again is a change of attitude and a change of mindset. You retrain your brain and rewire the circuits. You learn to hate gambling and you learn that gambling has created all your problems and therefore cannot be the solution to them.

It is good to have support around you, and tough love as you put it, but if you really want to leave gambling behind, then that desire needs to come first and foremost from yourself. That's why it is so important to give up gambling for yourself because if you do, then by extension, everyone else is happy too.

This post was modified 7 months ago 2 times by Lost and Found
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th January 2020 9:04 pm
Share this page
Share
  
Working

Please Login or Register