I gambled yesterday.
Fortunately I had limited access to money so losses were minimal.
I feel deflated & disappointed but determined to try again.
Stephen
Dust yaself down.Start again
Yup... life goes on. Don't let a gambling event stop you from posting. Its clearly something you enjoy doing so keep doing it whatever happens.
Regards... S.A
its gonna happen for the vast majority, as long as you go another long period there’s no damage done to you, we all do things our own way.
keep going
Thankyou Holycrosser & S.A for your support and encouragement.
Hello Diary.
There is not a lot to say at the moment as I am feeling subdued.
Given my hair a No. 1 and had a shave to symbolise a fresh start.
Starting at midnight tonight I am going to live on porridge with water, fruit, nuts, black coffee and herbal tea for a week as a form of penance. I have plenty of money on my tesco gift card but think the gesture will be helpful to my recovery. A sacrifice to impress on myself that gambling cannot be tolerated and will not go unpunished.
Stephen x
Thankyou Holycrosser & S.A for your support and encouragement.
Hello Diary.
There is not a lot to say at the moment as I am feeling subdued.
Given my hair a No. 1 and had a shave to symbolise a fresh start.
Starting at midnight tonight I am going to live on porridge with water, fruit, nuts, black coffee and herbal tea for a week as a form of penance. I have plenty of money on my tesco gift card but think the gesture will be helpful to my recovery. A sacrifice to impress on myself that gambling cannot be tolerated and will not go unpunished.
Stephen x
I have given it some thought and have decided to make the diet 10 days and have added rice, tomatoes, garlic and extra virgin olive oil to the list of things I can eat. So here is the list:
Porridge made with water.
Fruit / Fruit Juice
Nuts / Seeds
Rice
Tomatoes
Garlic
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Black Coffee / Herbal Tea
Starts @ midnight tonight for 10 days.
Gambling will not be tolerated and will not go unpunished.
Stephen x
Sorry to hear you had a blip on the road to recovery. It sounds like you are being way harsh on yourself over it. I don't know that I agree with punishment as a cure for the punishment you've already put yourself through.
I wonder if maybe treating yourself to your favourite meal and being thankful for providing for and loving yourself with some healthy food might not be a better way.
I'm no expert it just seems harsh mate.
Take care of you.
Drama xoxoxo
Tend to agree with above.You dont need penance.
However if it works for you then fair enough.
Well done for being honest
Thankyou for posting Holycrosser & DramaLlama.
Anything is worth a try and maybe the penance will bring about a positive outcome.
Hello Diary
Self exclusion from the betting shops does not stop me if I am determined to gamble. I have no one to look after my finances so make sure I pay bills on time, pay some extra rent when I get paid and put money on a supermarket gift card so that keeps me from getting into trouble.
My state pension has gone in bank this morning which is a worry but I am meeting friends this afternoon who are singing for a charity at a care home so I will enjoy joining in with that.
Stephen x
Singing for a care home sounds like a wonderful thing. I've had some experience with visiting care homes through Church and knowing old people and it's great how animated people get with a bit of stimuli. Well done you. I hope you are feeling better in yourself and ready to stop with the punishment regime. You don't deserve it. You deserve a wonderful life full of happy things not gambling and beating yourself up about it.
Take care of you.
Drama xoxoxox
Thankyou DramaLlama, I had a lot of fun yesterday.
Visited a day care centre for people with dementia. Friends working with a charity had arranged entertainment with a comedy poet who was very funny, followed by cutting stuff out of magazines to make collages and finally an absolutely brilliant singer who got everyone waving their arms, tapping their feet and singing along. I was up dancing and a very elderly lady struggled to her feet and joined me for a dance. Everybody seemed to have a great time.
Stephen x
Doing different things is great isn’t it.
I put my weekly pension in a gambling machine today but have money on tesco gift card so won't go hungry.
This is a diary of a loser so I won't post on here anymore.
I will start a new diary.
Stephen x
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