Fresh Start.

Hi LT, 

Well done for reaching 1 week GF. That is a fantastic achievement and it is great to read about your progress here on the Forum. 

Keep posting, 

Rebecca 

Forum Admin. 

Today is 9 days GF.

Have read some posts recently that have resonated a lot with me. The idea that when you’re in the vortex and it seems like there is no other option than continuing to gamble - even knowing that it will be catastrophic to your marriage, health, family life, finances etc. Thoughts like these really help remind me how important it is to not fall back in to old ways.

Also, couple of weeks ago I would have used the impending lockdown as an excuse to gamble - couple of thoughts cropped up but feeling strong enough to handle it at the moment. Easy to say now but hoping that lockdown is more of an opportunity to demonstrate a bit of resilience and build some strength going forward.

LT

Evening all,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay). The urge to gamble is your monkey self, not you. 

2. Sign up with all casinos and gambling sites and self exclude yourself for maximum amount of time.

3. Sign up with Gamstop and download Gamban on your mobile phone.

4. If possible, sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This is used as a visual motivation tool as well as keeps a track record of your gamble free days.

5. Albert Einstein once quoted: if you do something over and over,  you'll get the same result. 

6. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you.

7. Gambling (Greed) is not on the life menu- even the Bible states "You shall not covet your neighbours goods," Eventhough you may not be religious,  however, it is an invaluable advice.

8. If you get the gambling urges- go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand. Find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.

9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it. As time passes it will become easier and easier regardless of how much money lost in the process.

10. Try to separate yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities. 

11. Remember, time is on your side- healing process can start.

12. If all fails, go to GA meeting and start 12 steps. Go and seek professional help.

I hope this helps. 

All the best.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step

Posted by: Soysauce147

Evening all,

I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions:

1. Buy a copy of Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay). The urge to gamble is your monkey self, not you. 

2. Sign up with all casinos and gambling sites and self exclude yourself for maximum amount of time.

3. Sign up with Gamstop and download Gamban on your mobile phone.

4. If possible, sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This is used as a visual motivation tool as well as keeps a track record of your gamble free days.

5. Albert Einstein once quoted: if you do something over and over,  you'll get the same result. 

6. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you.

7. Gambling (Greed) is not on the life menu- even the Bible states "You shall not covet your neighbours goods," Eventhough you may not be religious,  however, it is an invaluable advice.

8. If you get the gambling urges- go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand. Find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.

9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it. As time passes it will become easier and easier regardless of how much money lost in the process.

10. Try to separate yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities. 

11. Remember, time is on your side- healing process can start.

12. If all fails, go to GA meeting and start 12 steps. Go and seek professional help.

I hope this helps. 

All the best.

Xoi

Ps A thousand miles begin with one step

Number 2 is very poor advice..number 3 good No need to join casino or gambling sites to exclude that would be a mistake the blocks,gamstop and gamban do that for you.

Also big well done on your 9 days gamble free.! 

Thanks Lou for the support, it is appreciated.

Today is 10 days GF and feeling good. I was in a position today in work where a few of the lads were talking about bets they’ve made over Christmas and how much their mate has won etc. Didn’t necessarily feel the need to remove myself from the situation, but also haven’t thought twice about it until reflecting on today. Pleased with the progress.

Sometimes feel like a bit of a cop out having not gambled, because GamStop has done a lot of the hard work, as well as bookies being closed with lockdown and my wife keeping control of my cards - but then I remember how desperate it can get; a CG will always find a way if they want to. Also, the addiction is so much stronger than me so definitely need these blocks in place to continue leading the GF lifestyle.

LT

Your welcome and please dont feel a cop out for getting blocks. I once felt the same.

However it takes a lot of courage to be able to put blocks in place when you have an addiction. You are fighting it by putting the blocks in. No doubt without gamstop i would have fallen so many times..the reason i am 89 days gamble free is the blocks. If that what it takes its nothing to be ashamed of...its you taking responsibilty and action..willpower alone is almost impossible it could just take one urge to ruin everything its not worth the risk

Well done again on your recovery so far. 

Loulou x

Thanks for posting on my diary LT and as you say it’s long road. Read your diary and you seem to be in a similar boat to me sports betting, young family and a realisation that you need to provide for these people not the greedy bookmakers. 
Stay strong and just count the days one at a time without forgetting why you started.

13 days GF. 

Had the urge earlier with the football on tonight which I’ve not had for a few days. Just a reminder that the urges will always be there, but the only thing that changes is our reaction (or lack of) to them.

Torn when sharing about my urges because it makes it a bit more real and gives it a voice - that being said I’ve spent long enough lying, in denial and hiding things so probably a good thing to be open and honest about them!

Hope you all have a good weekend??

LT

Hi lt just read your diary and thanks for sharing I'm in exactly same boat today amd had the same urges with football being on so I've decided not watching any this weekend I've got plans to decorate main bedroom and going to put my head into why I'm trying my hardest to stop gambling 

Good luck pal

Tommyt - crazy what goes on in your head isn’t it! I’m the same, wish I could enjoy football the same but it reminds me so much of betting that I’m not sure I can watch it and genuinely enjoy any more.

Nice one brother - hope the decorating keeps your mind away from the urges.

LT

Hello LT, well done on your GF journey so far. I concur with Lou that it is absolutely not a cop out to put blocks in place but a show of strength and commitment.  I am almost 3 years GF, I stopped towards the back end of Jan '18 and 'did it myself' until around May time of that year at which point I signed up to Gamstop. I was getting a bit complacent as those harsh/troubling feelings a few months earlier were starting to ease and I was starting to tell myself that maybe I could be more controlled. Fortunately I took action before doing anything daft and I am so grateful for signing up to Gamstop as I don't think I'd have made it without and I'm not ashamed to say it. I am a firm believer in using whatever blocks are necessary to overcome this beast of a disease.  I wish you all the very best. 

Si_mon - amazing effort on your 3 years. Definitely a position I aspire to be in.

Thanks for the info and support - just would love to know that I can do it myself, but that’s obviously not worked in the past and as you say it’s great to have those blocks in place if complacency kicks in.

2 weeks GF.

First full weekend back at home after spending time with family over Christmas - therefore a bit more time and that concerned me a bit.

However, mainly spent it reflecting on how much things have changed - disposable cash that I don’t want to gamble with, consistent mood and more present with my wife and little lad. Life is so much better being GF, just need to keep remembering that!

LT

18 days GF.

Not feeling the need to add to my diary as frequently, but still find it very cathartic to tally the days as well as open up on certain thoughts.

My wife is having a struggle at the moment which often causes us to argue - these are the times I would have headed to the bookies or used as justification to have a bet. Definitely entered my mind yesterday, but enjoyed that there was no intent behind the thoughts.

Also, very pleased to say that although I’m not watching anywhere near as much football as I was previously - I’m started to watch a bit more and enjoying the games without having anything riding on it.

Still find myself checking corner and card stats, but hardly a surprise when that’s all the last decade of watching football has been about! Is this normal? Wonder if/when this will stop? 

Stay strong gang.

LT

@lt_ Good going so far. If I can answer your question about is it normal to check the stats after so long gambling and when will it stop. It stops when you stop. Like the choice you currently make to watch more football, you choose to check the stats. It's that simple.

When horse racing used to be the main type of betting, it was suggested that when putting betting down the addict didn't buy a paper or continue watching the racing, yet football seems to be okay to watch? The two options open to you are 1. Don't watch football for a while longer. If you don't know the matches you don't need to know the stats, or 2. Watch football but make a concerted effort to not look at the stats. Eventually you'll enjoy the match for what it is rather than thinking what bets you might have placed.

As for not adding to your diary, please don't fall into the trap that a lot of people make. Come on here initially, post lots, do well, and slowly stop being so regular, the old habits creep back and before you know it you're back on here a month later having gambled!

Your journey, daily, is important for others to see and if your story helps others in turn it will help you. That's how this works. Keep going, you're doing well.

Chris.