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Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Back again. I was here many years ago and now my situation is somewhat different. All started again in December 2019 for me. Big mistake. One bet, then got lured in by slots. Today I took a sizable chunk of my savings and gambled it away. I never touched my savings. Situation has been terrible since late March. Caught the coronavirus, it almost killed me and I survived it at home. It was really bad. I've lost my health, which has been the hardest thing for me. Memories of being that unwell hardest of all. It also made my recent gambling a little reckless as I find the loss of my health hardest of all to deal with. I genuinely do not know if I can ever fully recover. Yet, I want to stop gambling as it has actually affected my recovery. Curse of the big win really. I had a good win then lost it all and more. A lesson learned the hard way.
So here's day one. I am a compulsive gambler and it does me no favours. I am stopping. Will post daily to stay committed.

Alex

Quote
Posted : 6th September 2020 7:08 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello  Dempsey

Thank you for sharing on the Forum. I'm sorry to hear that you have been through a very difficult time, but it is great that you remembered our Forum. I am sure you will receive much support and encouragement from others. 

Please remember that our Advisers are here for you, 24/7, 365 days a year. You can telephone them on 0808 8020 133 for support and advice. 

Keep posting and take care of yourself

Elaine

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th September 2020 8:19 pm
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Well, gamstop has my details. There really is no way for me to gamble now. I actually tried to do this months ago, back when I started gambling again, but could never get it to accept my details. It has now, thank God. Now focus back on health and well-being. Recovery from this virus torture, but I've come along way. Recovery from my escape, gambling, just beginning.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th September 2020 8:55 pm
aliwonton1
(@aliwonton1)

Hi Alex,

stay strong my friend. We have all been there. You hit the nail on the head. We are compulsive gamblers and cannot gamble in anyway. No matter how much we win or lose. Being a compulsive gambler means you can never walk away. Walking away is the hardest part. We are the bookmakers best punter. I am 147 days GF. Not saying it’s been easy but when the urges come along stay busy and keep remembering where you have been. Keep your recovery dairy going and check in every day. Don’t fall into the trap of going months without a bet and thinking aw I can control it now we never will cause we are compulsive gamblers. Stay strong and take every day as it comes 👍.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th September 2020 8:49 am
Dempsey
(@dempsey)
Posted by: aliwonton1

Hi Alex,

stay strong my friend. We have all been there. You hit the nail on the head. We are compulsive gamblers and cannot gamble in anyway. No matter how much we win or lose. Being a compulsive gambler means you can never walk away. Walking away is the hardest part. We are the bookmakers best punter. I am 147 days GF. Not saying it’s been easy but when the urges come along stay busy and keep remembering where you have been. Keep your recovery dairy going and check in every day. Don’t fall into the trap of going months without a bet and thinking aw I can control it now we never will cause we are compulsive gamblers. Stay strong and take every day as it comes 👍.

Thank you very much. All it took was one bet and I was hooked right back in. I was gamble free for four years before this. I had a mild relapse with one bet in 2015. Managed to nip it in the bud early then. This time, just like the old me from years gone by. Really lost myself in it. Now planning to never go back to it. My health is literally at stake so I have good reason to now. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 7th September 2020 9:51 am
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Much as I'd like to gamble, as I really was tested today, I can't. I actually tried to login into one of my accounts today. Blocked until 2025. I guess now is the time to just accept and learn to move on. Gambling just did me no favours. My only regret is being unable to set up the gamstop block back in December last year, when I started gambling again. I tried, but it would never accept my details. Learned this was all down to me putting the house number in the wrong box. This would have saved me from a lot of bother. Oh well, it's done now. Onwards gamble free.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 8th September 2020 7:19 pm
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Really messed up. Turns out my gamstop registration wasn't complete so wound up throwing another grand down the drain. This will be the last time I ever do that. Just cannot do this anymore. It's like self harm. I've always viewed gambling like that. Now I want to break free. I have nothing to lose but everything to gain by stopping. It only got really bad about a week or so back. Total losses are enough to make want out. Hard lesson. I really lost the value of money and wasted a lot of time. I have had a tough year, but this last couple of weeks were just insanity. Never want to do it again. Worst thing has been I've lost track of my health recovery too. I've been seriously ill. Part of the trauma is why I escaped into gambling again. I know this. Yet, it didn't help me. It really hindered my recovery. I know this just from looking at my Fitbit. 

My ID is off my phone. It's in a place I cannot physically get to it. Gamstop now has everything they need to block me. I already pretty much self-excluded from every gambling site going, as I went from one to the next, always telling myself this was the last time. Here's really the end point to my gambling days.

There were really no pros to it. Only cons. I'm positive now, this really is it. 

My gambling story began 9 years ago, I've given it up before,  long periods of abstinence, but this is different. It really just cannot be part of my life. I've lost a fair bit due to poor health this year, but I will gladly lose and let go the gambling.

 I am a compulsive gambler. I also now have no way in which to gamble. It'll be tough, but I've been here before. I can do this. I really have no choice now. This is a good thing.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th September 2020 1:30 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @dempsey

I’m sorry to read about your relapse, what you are trying to achieve is not easy and relapses are common, you are not alone. However please continue with your determination and commitment to become gamble free, you can achieve this.

I read that you have used some resources to exclude yourself from accessing gambling websites but I wonder have you considered a referral for treatment to support you to move forwards and make the changes necessary to achieve your goal of being gamble free. If you haven’t already done so then please get in touch and speak to one of our Advisers on the helpline or netline for more information on how we can help.

I hope also that you have been able to get support from your GP. It is so important that you look after both your physical and mental health.

Kind regards

Jo

Forum admin

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Posted : 10th September 2020 9:32 pm
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Kind of at rock bottom, but took picture of myself holding ID and then sent that to Gamstop. I have to stop. It's a really bad escape for me. Now that picture is with them it's truly game over and goodbye to gambling. I'm done with it. Last six hours of compulsive gambling and last three weeks have been a huge setback. Got to focus on me and the healthy routine I had before. I think this latest lapse into gambling has just been my way of dealing with extreme trauma. This was nearly dying and being very unwell (I still am). Gambling will not solve anything. It's just self destructive. It's over. I'm a compulsive gambler that has had his last bet. I'm only ever satisfied when I see 0.00. It's then I self-exclude and typically find another site to play on. Well, now gamstop has my details and ID, I won't be doing this anymore. Loses are just insane, but happy to just accept and move on. It's a fresh start for me now. No excuses, no turning back. Used to see posts of people talking about how a big win was there downfall. Very much my story. Now I know what it's like. It happened to me too. 

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Posted : 12th September 2020 2:22 am
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Gamstop now has my details confirmed. Due to be processed on Tuesday, so this is it, no more gambling. Time to put the focus back on me and my health recovery, that went to c**P about three weeks ago, when I started gambling again. I miss my old life very much that's it's all so hard for me. Falling so ill was extremely difficult. My life changed over seven days. Actually missing the convalescence routine I have had too, so now need to find that again. It was simple really and cheaper than gambling. Book, outside, some steps, eating well. Now got to get it back. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th September 2020 1:59 pm
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

Not going to be obsessed by my losses. It got stupid this past week, and now I'm back to square one, starting over. It was a hard lesson. Can remember where it all started again. I went for a meal and there was a fruit machine. I probably put twenty quid in and then weeks later had my first bet in years. One thing leading to another. It started all so innocent. Yet even after my first bet (which of course came in), I knew this was not going to do me good. I think I self-excluded from that site and then I found myself on another site in the days later. Then I found slots. I never had an issue with slots years ago, but now they proved my downfall. Happy I've finally got the gamstop thing sorted and cannot do slots anymore. It's over. My escape is gone. It was a really rubbish escape really. Costly and harmful. I am focusing on me and my health now. 

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Posted : 12th September 2020 4:15 pm
Dempsey
(@dempsey)

I'm now on the gamstop register. As much as I'd like to, I now cannot gamble. As said, primary focus is back on health and getting better. Really tough year, one actually made worse by my decision to gamble. I need to accept that gambling only brought me problems and that it's a gift that I can't do it anymore. Eventually the desire to gamble will fade and I'll be looking back thinking what a plinker I was. 

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Posted : 14th September 2020 3:40 pm
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