First 5 days

76 Posts
9 Users
0 Likes
14.3 K Views
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

The last few days my anxiety has been playing  up interrupting my sleep and it’s now a nuisance not a game stopper like it used to be and I know the reasons why so dealing and sorting the reasons out slowly and taking it in my stride instead of closing off and shutting down like I used to ,I am embracing this latest challenge and moving forward every bout of anxiety is a challenge to get through and overcome not a reason to step back and shut off that’s what I tell myself , and that’s what I do there are challenges ahead in the next few weeks and instead of fearing them I can’t wait to embrace them over come them and all this new mind set is thanks to giving up gambling and facing up to my problems and dealing with them head on 

This post was modified 4 years ago by Chris1979
 
Posted : 24th August 2020 7:08 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Starting to sleep well Now  As what was causing my anxiety is still there but now can’t do anything about it so just letting it go and going with the flow And waiting to see what’s happening there’s been quite a few things that have come up recently which would have sent my anxiety sky rocketing and me straight in to a betting shop or online to gamble now but instead I just smile and carry on , I still have regrets that I lost everything I ever wanted my Ex-Girlfriend her son our dog if I could change  that I would but now I just move forward and carry on so I don’t make the same mistakes but I don’t let my regrets hold me back I strive to be the best possible me that I can so I don’t loose out or miss out 

This post was modified 4 years ago by Chris1979
 
Posted : 27th August 2020 4:20 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

So Friday was a massive day for me I met up with my ex and was nervous anxious the whole time waiting to see her I didn’t know what to expect so was up at 5 am having coffee on the patio trying to relax then got ready and left at 8am we wasn’t meeting till 12.30 but wasn’t going to let my anxiety beat me I went out and did bits that I needed to and then headed to where we were meeting for lunch and was anxious nervous used to be able to hide that gamble on my phone but not anymore I put music on and started to calm down then I saw her and my heart and stomach flipped a feeling I used to get when we first started dating and then I wasnt nervous anxious anymore I looked at her and thought wow she looks good and we sat down and talked and felt natural and I looked at her and felt an idiot how did I let something like gambling loose this woman how did I loose this woman she supported me through the first lot of counselling she put up with me being moody miserable and she still wanted to meet me now  she was honest open everything I loved about her she thought I would cancel this lunch to be honest I thought she would cancel. We laughed and joked something we didn’t do a lot of near the end of our relationship but importantly we both agreed to see each other again I don’t know what will happen I was just glad we had lunch laughed and have to say she looked amazing it’s a small step . She said how good I looked and glad I was getting counselling, but I was more impressed of how she has got on kept a house going home schooled her boy who has done amazing during this time and done her job which is a high profile job that’s amazing to me and again she still wanted to sit down and have lunch with me and see me again she really is amazing .

to anyone that reads this getting help isn’t easy but there is always something good that comes out of it , I haven’t gambled in nearly 11 months and there have been times I could of easily gambled and gone backwards but I didn’t and I will be the first to say I hit rock bottom but I am going up and I am going to keep going up it’s small things that keep us going to keep looking for the small things and you will make it gambling isn’t life you control your life I will never go backwards 

 
Posted : 6th September 2020 8:11 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Good morning Chris,

Thank you for sharing your good news.

Congratulations on the almost 11 months gamble free, it is really good to hear how much your life has changed in this time. As well as being really good to see how far you've come, your post is a great motivator for others starting out on their recovery journey.

It was so nice to hear that you got to spend time with your ex and you both shared some laughs and jokes. It sounds like she got to experience the happier you and I'm delighted that without gambling in your life you are back to being the Chris that laughs and enjoys life again.

We look forward to reading more of your posts Chris.

Best wishes

ChrisK

Forum Admin

 

  

 

 

 
Posted : 6th September 2020 10:03 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Hi chrisk 

thanks yes and I hope that if I help one person with my posts then that would be amazing I definitely becoming the best possible me I changed for me as I lost what was most important and that opened my eyes to how I was it’s simple things that I needed to do but when you keep telling yourself it’s everyone else there’s nothing wrong with you then the simple things get pushed aside I still have anxiety but I can handle that now and done let that hold me back or use it as an excuse to not do something .

when I first started this journey of not gambling I underestimated just how much gambling affected me my moods and the people I love and care for even in simple things in the way I was , I know now I couldn’t have done this if I had stayed closed off and not got help at times I don’t think my ex realises just how much of a big push she gave me and I have more respect love and understanding of what she had to put up with from me. 
in all honestly I have changed my entire out look and feel so much better happier for that and my ex definitely saw the difference and she should take credit for putting her self  and her bit first and not putting up with the way I was .

i am always going to post on here no matter what happens as will always talk to anyone who goes through this as I have found this site more helpful than anything else and reading the success stories the failures have really helped but will always be here if someone wants to talk 

chris 

 
Posted : 9th September 2020 9:35 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

On the 9th of October that will be 1 year since I last gambled now to me that’s a big deal I was a compulsive gambler for 17 years and I no longer gamble I can never thank my ex girlfriend for calling me on my gambling helping me get  counselling and starting me on this path of gambling free I unfortunately didn’t take full advantage of the help that was available till it was to late and we split up just before the lockdown but with out her I could of easily carried on down the dark path I was on but now I am gambling free and also thanks to this forum and all the great people on here a year ago I wouldn’t have thought possible to be gamble free but I am.

a lot has happened good things and bad things but recently I have started to talk to my ex again which is a step in the right direction and i have had counselling which has also massively helped me with my anxiety and depression which was a cause of my gambling and I am now in the best mental health I have possibly been in a very long time And looking ahead for life’s challenges , my counselling helped me with how to deal with my anxiety and instead of letting my anxiety control me and beat me I now turn it on it’s head and go forwards 

so everybody out there get the help get talking and you will be able to beat gambling 

 
Posted : 28th September 2020 5:04 pm
Sanpabs
(@sanpablo)
Posts: 76
 

Well done Chris. Brilliant to read about a great recovery story. I hope you celebrate the 1 year gamble free when you get there.

 

 
Posted : 28th September 2020 10:30 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

I will celebrate it’s an achievement in itself not to gamble will be honest it cost me a lot mentally but now I am in a stronger mental and physical place than I  have ever been and now I have grown and moved forwards I am a better person in a much better place just wish it hadn’t cost me so much to get here but I am gamble free and still moving forwards 

chris 

 
Posted : 30th September 2020 1:43 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

So today it hit me it’s been 1 year today since I last gambled it’s been one year since my ex called me on every thing and made me face how much pain and hurt I caused through gambling through hiding my gambling and lying to her to my family it’s been one year since I joined this site and you know something I feel  good I don’t know what is going to happen in the future but I do know it’s going to be with out gambling with lying to hide my loses to let my anxiety take away the things I want to do to be the moody miserable man I was I have come along way but still have a long way to go as I know everyday is a battle to not gamble As I know can never gamble again but now I am happier more confident In myself I still have anxiety but can work with it and through it now thanks to counselling thanks to my friends my family and especially thanks to my ex for setting me on this path we are now talking having lunch together And even laughing together and who knows what the future will bring but I do know it will be gamble free here is to the next 12 months of no gambling 

This post was modified 3 years ago 2 times by Chris1979
 
Posted : 8th October 2020 9:11 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

And to who ever reads this if I can stop gambling you can get help any way you need it , I am not going to lie and say it’s easy as it isn’t but it is worth it and it does mean you will become you how you should be not how gambling makes you and importantly it means you can be the man or woman your family needs you to be your friends need you to be and most importantly Who you need you to be . I am always here if anybody wants to chat or needs help or even just someone at the end of a message 

chris 

 
Posted : 8th October 2020 9:18 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

So  the 2nd November 2017  was a sad day for me and the day my gambling s started to get heavier and heavier because I lost my grandfather and the 2nd was the day after his funeral and it hit me he was gone the closest to a dad I had that was then in that time I got worse with my gambling till finally last year my ex confronted me and put the wheels in motion for me to stop gambling and this 2nd November 2020 I am gamble free for 1 year 1 month I have lost a lot a girlfriend who stood by me till she couldn’t take anymore and yet still gave me the strength to stop gambling she still is the one to me and if I ever get the chance to marry that girl I would take it with both hands but that’s a dream I am just grateful she talks to me now and can never show how truly thankful I am she confronted me , but now I am happier have dealt with my demons and Beaten some of them and now have the mental tools to beat the rest anxiety depression I can control to the point they no longer control me or my moods , I am happier in a mentally stronger place than I have been in a long time , and today I raised a coffee to my grandparents and thanked them and carried on not got down or depressed a trigger to gamble and instead got on with my day and had an awesome day smiling and happy and no matter what life throws at me I will now smile and be me the happy guy I am now 

 
Posted : 2nd November 2020 8:43 pm
Gambling_toad
(@gambling_toad)
Posts: 155
 

Hello Chris, 

Thankyou that was an uplifting post. Don't you just love positive people. Well Chris you are the defination of positivity. So put your hands together and clap for Chris. Come on all you people in the house. Everybody clap, clap come on everybody clap! ? ? 

Congratulations on being gamble free for over a year!

This post was modified 3 years ago 2 times by Gambling_toad
 
Posted : 4th November 2020 3:35 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Thanks toad  just read through your post on here and like the fact you have humour in yours as even though I have positivity I need to use my humour as well in this year everything could of been against a gambler being lockdown and being unable to do a lot gambling could of easily have taken over with all the tv adverts we could of easily succumbed to the temptation instead I counted the adverts and laughed and just every time  see a gambling advert I laugh and just think not this time .

I am positive as that’s how I am being negative almost destroyed me and being positive I am being me and I am a lot happier and definitely enjoy life a lot more and hey life is precious covid has shown us that so grab every chance you have and take that chance and use it for you and to build a better life for yourself and toad keep going on your journey as will follow your journey 

 
Posted : 12th November 2020 12:20 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

So a reminder came up on my phone on Friday 13th and it reminded me of loosing my ex as that’s the day I had planned to propose back in February before we broke up after her support I had planned this year a lot differently but me not  getting the help I needed and actually embracing my problems with gambling and the way I was meant I pushed her to far now if I was still gambling a reminder like that would have pushed me over to gamble and caused a lot of hurt and instead that reminder showed me how far I have come and now I am just grateful she talks to me and we chat and can be open and honest and I have no animosity towards her instead I am grateful and respect her more every day as thanks to her just confronting me that day I don’t gamble I have had counselling and now I am in the best mental health I have been in the longest time and actually feel myself and happy 

 
Posted : 16th November 2020 10:44 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

So having not posted on here in a long time a few updates I have got on with my life and moved jobs to a much better position. And now a manager something I wouldn’t of thought possible and slipped I bought scratch cards not hung big but it’s a slip and it’s crashed the world it would seem but the part is I realised on my own that it was a mistake the difference I haven’t done to since, n  ok ok line gambling as on all the game ban sites and do get  nervous as the  5 years will be up and what happens then and then I think I am

not going down that road , people think I still gamble but I don’t I found other ways to decompress and stop the stress problem being I am a retail manager now and that’s a stress right there this Christmas was the most stressful I have had in a very long time and that’s a trigger or was yes I was moody miserable tired annoyed stressed but i didn’t gamble and to be honest was the furthest thing from my mind was more have a cup of tea close off sleep recharge and face the day.

Some people still think I gamble and can’t take it in I don’t as all they look at is patterns , patterns will appear yes but downs mean the same outcomes but that’s their problem I slipped I didn’t break but I slipped and you know what it’s now time for me to carry on work that little bit harder and just be me happy and moving myself forwards 

 

 
Posted : 9th January 2024 5:09 pm
Page 5 / 6

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close