First 5 days

76 Posts
9 Users
0 Likes
14.3 K Views
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

 First day of counselling it’s a small step but a good one given me another reason not to gamble I don’t need that crutch anymore or to escape it all , I am slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel , my better half has been amazing today I saw her and that was a massive boost I feel I can do this . 

Rebuilding myself up from the start it’s a good feeling the anxiety is still there and depression but with the help and support  I am getting I am looking at the future .

 

 
Posted : 22nd October 2019 5:56 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Feel down today but still no gambling don’t have any interest just feel lonely it’s amazing what a hug from your girlfriend can do it beats a thousand words every time . I think of all the times I gambled and used it to hide and realised at times I didn’t need to hide but even though I feel down two weeks with out gambling two weeks and it’s still a positive I keep telling my self one day at a time 

 
Posted : 23rd October 2019 8:54 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Dear @chris1979,

Well done on two weeks gamble free, that is indeed a great achievement and I am glad to hear it fills you with pride, so it should.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down and a bit lonely - it can happen in the early stages of recovery, change isn't always easy. It is important that you start looking for ways to keep busy, looking for ways to keep motivated. Stopping gambling is a lifestyle change, and finding new ways to entertain yourself or to de-stress and switch off is an essential part of this. I would recommend that you look into creative, make-y hobbies. So anything like adult colouring in books, buying an old bike or car and do it up, cooking, baking, any kind of arts and crafts is a good way to shift focus when you just want to switch off and 'hide'. And because you are making something with your hands, it is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. I would suggest you experiment around a bit, see what you enjoy doing, and what can be a long-lasting new hobby.

Keep posting and sharing Chris, it will help.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 24th October 2019 10:02 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Thanks I am happy with the two weeks of no gambling I am lonely as I am at my parents and my life my possessions and my hobby is in what was my home and my partners she wants me back there but not at the moment so I feel trapped at my parents it’s also lonely with not having her around and her boy , I just feel lost at the moment the counselling has started so hopefully will get better in time 

 
Posted : 24th October 2019 10:31 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

First pay day since giving up gambling two weeks ago not one penny on line or on a bookies instead had a family day out to the Natural history museum with my better half and dude we had a great day was nervous as was thinking will I be nervous or irritable but I wasn’t just nervous my girlfriend was amazing she held my hand and she could sense I was nervous we had a great day and I got to stay in our home it’s a small step but a fantastic we have a plan of moving forwards all small steps it’s given me a boost to keep going the way I am 

 
Posted : 27th October 2019 2:07 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Second session of counselling felt really good feel anxious and didn’t sleep well but wasn’t feeling down just a lot to think about and feel good about , spent the weekend with my girlfriend and dude and not wanted to gamble what I would of gambled was spent over a whole weekend which is more productive and definitely a lot more fun , still get thoughts about gambling but I am feeling a lot more controlled and not wanting to Waste that money 

 
Posted : 29th October 2019 9:44 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

It’s the day I haven’t been looking forward to staying at my parents when I am there I feel alone and anxious it gets me down just thinking about it I don’t want to be away from my girlfriend she has been amazing all the way through this helping me with my anxiety when I am with her I feel calmer and relaxed and she gives great cuddles.

at my parents I don’t feel that I just get down and anxious there they don’t get it the gambling and the way it took control they look at it as they have to have me at theirs 

 
Posted : 30th October 2019 7:59 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Hi Chris1979,

Recovery  can feel a bit up and down, you are making headway.  As mentioned by us before, distracting yourself with something interesting (especially when at your parents)  can be a welcome break from negative thoughts  eg. a decent book can work wonders sometimes! 

Take good care,

Best wishes

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 30th October 2019 11:32 am
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
 

You sound like you are persevering which is good.. We are all sailing choppy waters on here.. Its just a matter of learning ways to stay afloat.. Take care 

 
Posted : 30th October 2019 5:35 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

3 weeks with out gambling and  on Tuesday 3rd counselling session today my anxiety is really there back with my girlfriend and dude which is awesome but she has arranged a day out with her mum and I am not ready for that not ready for the family days out yet , the three of us yes it’s my family they are the reason I stopped gambling and hiding myself in gambling it was an easy escape I don’t have that and I am concentrating on my family just not ready for bigger family days out yet , but it was arranged and I cant say anything as it was already arranged 

This post was modified 4 years ago by Chris1979
 
Posted : 3rd November 2019 9:30 am
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Feel like I am stuck in limbo my partner wants me to be at home with her and dude but my stuff and clothes are stuck at my parents at the moment I don’t feel like I belong here at the moment as my stuff isn’t here clothes I feel comfortable in or my laptop to go on forums for my hobby which I want to get back into.

After being anxious this morning after the day trip out I feel even more now as I feel uncomfortable this is where I would normally jump on line to gamble just to avoid this feeling but I am not going to as don’t want to waste that money 

This post was modified 4 years ago by Chris1979
 
Posted : 3rd November 2019 3:33 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

4 weeks with out gambling and I am proud of that 3 sessions in on the counselling and things are starting to go into place the reasons for gambling are out there now I know why and am starting to see the way forward . I am taking each day as it comes like this morning I had to cry not because I was anxious or because I was worried but for the feeling of relief after my counselling session yesterday I felt good and have a clearer picture of how to deal with my anxiety and depression it’s still early days but feel more confident in my self now that I can do this . My girlfriend has been amazing and so supportive she still worries that I might go back To gambling  or find something else to replace it but I don’t need to I have a good support network especially her that I don’t want to gamble , I do find i am spending more time on my phone looking at the forum or playing on candy crush wbut I will change that as well as once I am fully home my stuff is there and my laptop I can start my hobby again and not spend so much time on my phone , Christmas is coming up and so much to do to make it magical for little dude and my girlfriend . 

Its still early days and still taking each day as it comes but I am getting there 

 

 
Posted : 6th November 2019 1:17 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

One month with out gambling and I feel good not had an urge to been putting my energy in to my family my work and for once I don’t feel stressed because I lost x amount of money instead I am happier my anxiety is still there and still have boughts   of depression but I am having phycological counselling and it’s helping me with the issues that made me gamble so I am feeling proud to be 1 month gambling free 

 
Posted : 12th November 2019 7:49 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5946
Admin
 

Dear chris1979, 

I am pleased to read that you've remained gamble free for a month and you should indeed feel proud.  Whilst it clearly isn't easy to combat anxiety and depression, I read that you are taking positive steps in your counselling and it is good to see you writing about this in your diary. 

I am glad your girlfriend is supportive, and that you are looking to resume your hobby at some point soon. 

Take care.

Leigh,  Forum Admin 

 
Posted : 12th November 2019 9:39 pm
Chris1979
(@chris1979)
Posts: 65
Topic starter
 

Well 4th counselling session and everything is going ok don’t have the money I used to have after sorting my finances and setting up payment plans I am getting there at times I feel like why do I bother I am trying so hard to sort myself out and then some one has to get a dig in or wants to know why I don’t have the money to do things as i should then I think sod them I am doing so much better 1 month free of gambling or the anxiety and depression it brought with it .

as for the money no I don't have the money I used to have I set up payment plans now that requires money and when I sit and try and sort things it does mean I can’t  do all the things I want to I have to pay towards my counselling it isn’t a lot but I didn’t budget for that as wasn’t expecting to have to pay that straight away that’s the money I had aside for me to have a few luxuries with but the counselling is so much more important it really is helping me in a way that has seen me have More belief in myself being able to deal with my anxiety and depression in a better and more constructive way and also the biggest thing so far it’s helped me realise how much I was hurting myself and those closest to me with the gambling and denial that I had a problem . Today despite being made to feel rubbish by someone who says they care I feel good I haven’t Gambled or had the urge to gamble  in a month I feel good because I haven’t not for anybody else’s sake but for mine I feel the wait has gone and I am not worrying about lost money I am looking forward to the future and getting my life where I want it to be with out the dread of worrying about loses and then stressing how to cover those loses. 

 
Posted : 14th November 2019 1:21 pm
Page 2 / 6

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

Find out more
Close