i have been clean now 3 days.
A little background as I am sure it is the same as most of us. 23 years of wasting my money taking from family and kids. All the lies and cheating around money. Many times I tried to stop and failed. I had all the debts and yeah had the big wins well I say wins it all went back again so not really winning. I have tried just about everything and now my GP has finally agreed to put on a support drug, this time it really does feel so different.... my weakness was fruit machines but it could been anything if linked to gambling tbh. The first few days were very hard and I am sure I will have difficult days to come but I am ready for this. After lots of reading I agree that you need to find something to replace the gambling so signed up to a health club and can enjoy a hot tub and the gym, it is near to work so looking at 3-4 times a week, well I find the time to gamble daily so this should be easy enough.
i really have lost so much in 23 years that now is the time to stop and make things right (maybe I should say better as I can right some of the bad I have done).
The one thing that I really really want to do is to help someone that feels they are at rock bottom, it would be amazing to share my story with others and help just one person to stop or not go down this route.
I do not have any great saying or believe in anything that I should stick to, however it is the cold hard facts that I will always label myself as a gambler but now I want to be an ex gambler.
Thanks for reading and I will add more to my story as much as I can
every stay STRONG ! And happy to help
Why do we do it? The buzz of a ‘big win’ on the slots isn’t really ever going to be a big win, not enough to make you happy.
Fruit machines are the killer to me. I travel with work and on the road a lot so it may be a service station, a bookies or even a pub with friends but it’s a problem.
If I’m honest, I used to play roulette in the bookies every week and now I have realised that I miss the income I had from this. Of course I’m not a winner and sometimes I could lose hundreds in one sitting but over the last couple of years I did well and walked around with a pocket full of cash.
The law changed, I turned to slots, as you could no longer do £50 a spin on roulette (£50 in 5 seconds) since then I haven’t had a win but I still go in and play the same game to try and earn that extra money I got used to having from my winnings on the roulette.
I have a good job but recently broke with my partner of 4 years (mutual break up, who am I kidding) she didn’t know the extent of my gambling and I have developed anxiety and stress which is completely down to the fact I was living a secret life of gambling beyond my means which I know is the reason we drifted apart.
Im struggling to pay bills and have fallen behind on rent because of this which is now effecting my day to day life. I don’t sleep well which effects my work and when I do sleep my dreams are insane!
This is all down to gambling - I know it is and I tell myself I’m going to stop, I don’t even enjoy the slots anymore but it’s the chase for the big win (that will probably never be big enough no matter how much it is) which never comes.
Im 33, moved back in with my parents since my break up and nobody but me knows the extent of my gambling and troubles.
I need help, I know I can do it and I need to do it before it’s to late and I lose my job and my amazing family bond.
From today I’m going to stop being proud and get help because this could change my life and I could end up with nothing.
Any advise please let me know - it’s a horrible hole to be in.
first thank you for taking the time to read the post. Sounds like you are in the same place I was, and from your words sounds like you really are ready to stop.
There is so much support you just need to grab and own this. Of course talk with family and think about goals and what controls you must put in place. We as gamblers are the ones that know what we do and ways around it to ensure we can gamble so time for a change.
I am not for a min talking about you stopping work but what can you do different with the travelling as this sounds an issue ?
Can someone look after your cash ?
And do not be afraid to talk with your GP
Into day 5, feeling more weak today but still to take my meds. Diffidence this time is that I want to beat this I must beat it. Feel today is not about taking one day at a time but more like 1 hour at a time,
i will keep myself busy today and maybe buy a new gym outfit ready for my next journey of my life.
Hope everyone else is staying strong and talking cause together everyone can beat this