Eat, Sleep, Lie, Repeat!

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(@Anonymous)
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Well done on the first week, you can make positive changes if you really want to, the triangle works too, if we break it,

Keep posting, stay focused, starve the addiction and keep winning.

Suzanne xxx

 
Posted : 20th July 2015 3:56 pm
(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

What an awful show on BBC that was last night. The boookies manager claims to have refused to take peoples bets for their own good, yet hes happy to allow that poor guy to put all his benefits into a fobt. I thought the rule was 'when the fun stops stop' the fun stopped for that fella many years ago and its morally wrong for any bookies to allow him in. Just like its morally wrong that nobody in my 19 years of life as a compulisve gambler ever challenged me or offered me help. The more I spent the more they did to keep me in their shops. Why was it that every payday I would get texts and emails with offers and promotions, they only ever came on payday! I don't want to give those awful companies another penny of my money. The show proved you can't win because if you do they ban you, so its a pointless exercise, the money only goes one way.

Its day 8 and I need to continue the fight, I can have a good life, I don't want a miserable existance anymore!

 
Posted : 21st July 2015 9:38 am
(@Anonymous)
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Day 9 and I need to hit the shops, this will require walking past a few bookmakers with cash in my pocket. There is also a bookies at the station. I'm supposed to be self excluded but they will take my money with a smile. If I go into a bookies I today I will walk out potless, so I'm going to win today and walk past and keep my money safely in my wallet!

 
Posted : 22nd July 2015 11:59 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

You can do it !! Good luck fella. Happy shopping 🙂

 
Posted : 22nd July 2015 1:04 pm
(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

Bad head this morning, a bit of shopping turned into a drinking session that was so brutal I stupidly missed the last train home and had to waste money on a taxi. After shopping a friend contacted me to see if I fancied a drink so I said yeah and then had to kill half an hour whilst waiting for him. I needed the toilet and part of me was thinking go to the toilet in the bookies and a have a look whats going on maybe get a quick win. Fortunately common sense prevailed and I went to the toilet in a pub instead. Day to day this is a challenge, but I need to keep winning, I can't slip up!

 
Posted : 23rd July 2015 9:23 am
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(@change)
Posts: 1701
 

You're doing well at staying focused on the abstaining... keep it up!

 
Posted : 23rd July 2015 2:46 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Eleven days of recovery, eleven days away from madness. I must keep this up!

I have also just self excluded from my last active online account, making that click has made me feel a whole lot better 🙂

 
Posted : 24th July 2015 11:26 am
(@Anonymous)
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Pay day comes ever closer and I have to say its fantastic to feel a lot more in control than I have for a long time. I'm going to spend the next couple of days signing up to as many bookies websites as I can find and then self excluding myself to take that option away. No idea why I put myself through the madness of gambling all my money away, I think its part escapism and part seeking that buzz of a big win, which is a bit silly as the big winnings never lasts long. Twelve reasons to smile today, I must kick on!

 
Posted : 25th July 2015 11:08 am
(@Anonymous)
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13 days gone and I've self excluded from more sites this morning. Payday is closer and I need to read back my posts on this diary to reinforce just why I can't gamble when I get paid. The fight continues, no need to gamble, it can stay in the past!

 
Posted : 26th July 2015 11:17 am
(@Anonymous)
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2 weeks tomorrow, well done

Suzanne xxx

 
Posted : 26th July 2015 11:34 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Payday tomorrow and I'm not feeling any urges and I'm self excluded from as many sites and local bookies as I can find. Life is for the living, not for my self destruction. I'm feeling positive, day 14 and one day at a time I must fight on. I don't want to lose every penny in a bookies, I deserve so much more. I will be reading back my diary when I wake in the morning.

 
Posted : 27th July 2015 5:02 pm
(@Anonymous)
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Its payday and I wake without any urges to gamble, WOW this is a good feeling! 15 days gamble free, money in my bank, someone else controlling my finances, self excluded from every uk bookie online and also from my local shops. No making up false bills to get money to gamble this month, no sinking feeling after travelling to a bookies to lose my hard earned money. Its my money and I'm going to enjoy it, I feel so much better than I did 15 days ago!

 
Posted : 28th July 2015 10:03 am
(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

Day after payday and money is still in the bank and I don't have any urges to gamble. Phew, thats a relief, I never know how bad the urges will be so its good to be able to post that I beat them. Over the years I've been unable to get past payday so I'm proud of myself. 16 days fighting, 16 days making a difference, I can do this!

 
Posted : 29th July 2015 9:46 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Thanks GT. I was with a friend last night who was betting on his phone, was interesting to watch him chasing his money. He had spend 70 in the day and recouped 80. Rather than withdraw the money he was desperate to win more. I watched him back a random horse, no studying form or selecting a certain race, he had to back the next race. His 80 very quickly disappeared and he deposited and lost more. When he started gambling I thought to myself I shouldn't be with him, however seeing him chasing and blowing money reminded me of myself and if anything gave me yet more evidence why I shouldn't gamble. I don't want to be the desperate man chasing his losses, betting on any old race going until I'm potless!

We live and learn, I'm on day 17 and this new way of life is much less stressful than my old ways of living!

 
Posted : 30th July 2015 10:54 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Day 18 is a little tough, thoughts entering my head about leaving work early to have a bet. Systems coming into my mind, if I just do this, that or the other I can win. More disclipline will bring better results, despite all the years of pain and the hundreds of thousands of pounds lost I'm thinking things can be different. Something is telling me I can easily win 50 pounds a day and use gambling like a second income. Why do these crazy thoughts come into my head? I'm going to stay in work and hope the urges disappear, but life is far from easy. I won't slip up today, buts its a struggle!

 
Posted : 31st July 2015 11:21 am
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