Don't Turn Around

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Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

Well today is two weeks for me, feels like ages since i fired up a *** or *** slot, ive had some mad urges to gamble but fighting them off, had free money and free spins offers but have deleted them straight away. Messages and even phone calls from ***, they dont want me gone, but im fighting it. I seriously think I could write a book about gambling adiction, as this is the first time ever i really think for once i have the upper hand, but i know how gambling demons work an I know there stalking me waiting for me to feel sorry for myself or think i could of been this or that, think about the past what if, or drink, but i know now he's there an im not listening to his come on we can turn a quick £50 deposit to a grand, and we will collect and can do this and that. It's hard but 2 weeks and a good mindset so far.

 
Posted : 26th August 2017 3:55 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)
Posts: 1491
 

Hi, if they call you, you just tell them you're a cg. Shortest phone call! If you put blocking software on gadgets doesn't that stop email? Barriers are good, you need some as will power can sometimes not be enough. Good luck , 14 days is good, stay strong!

 
Posted : 27th August 2017 8:58 am
Raj
 Raj
(@raj)
Posts: 100
 

Well done on being 14 days free Smashed..keep this up it will be 140 days soon!

 
Posted : 28th August 2017 9:53 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Smashed

Thanks for your reply to my post on the New Intros Forum.

I am attempting to avoid looking at all the football and sports odds so I don't see something that looks good value and worth a bet or so I don't regret not having a bet if all the results I would have predicted in my head end up winning. I do review the fixture lists but merely out of interest and to see what games are on TV. I watched a couple of live matches this weekend and probably enjoyed them more than most other matches for years. It felt so refreshing to just watch for the enjoyment and not to wish for a certain result / goal etc.

I hope you are well and continue to fight off any urges to gamble. As you are on a similar timeline to me I will look out for your posts and keep in contact.

46 and out

 
Posted : 30th August 2017 10:26 pm
Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

Thanks 49. Nearly 3 weeks now but I know how gambling works. When you step out and look back in, you realise how bad this country is when it comes to gambling. The online gambling is not regulated at all, for instance I can join a casino now and gamble what I want, the government want you to focus on look what were doing on the high street etc were limiting stakes were doing this and were doing that, but the true beast lies behind your front door and when you open your laptop or turn on your tablet, where bets are unlimted. £1000+ roulette spins, £500 a spin slots, not regulated. And this is where it all spirals and you go from the man who would deposit £20 do a few bets have a few £1 roulette spins a few 20p slot spins, to then losing the plot and depositing £4500 in a few hours, where did it come from, and thats what I ask myself. How did it get me like that if I withdrew £50 from my £20 I felt good to the state im in now of 5 years of £600 a month reypayments, gambling had me as well as the money like so many stories ive read it changed me too, and if your low about other stuff going on in your life it will come for you harder and want you to chase big wins. I read yesterday that 8*8 got fined for just this. Three weeks for me tomorrow and I can see the beast for what it truly is what it done to me and what it wants to do to others and the worst thing is it will keep getting new victims everyday sucking them in with a free £10 or deposit £5 get £50 deal, all those happy people all having fun in there ads. Those new sign ups will be here where we are now asking the same questions, how did that free £10 end up with me being homeless, does the gambling beast care. Does he f.

 
Posted : 1st September 2017 7:28 am
Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

One month gamble free, seems like longer. I think seeing that first Direct Debit leaving my account hurt knowing I have nothing to show for it and a long road to wipe it away. You often get the "Why did you do it" questions in your head, and of course want a quick way out of it all, it hurts to think about the time left to pay it off, so I guess that was step one and now to get to two months.

 
Posted : 10th September 2017 7:35 am
changemylife
(@changemylife)
Posts: 531
 

Hey Smashed you're doing great. You've come along way, and you're in the right place to find peace and redemption.

You know, it hurts like hell losing all that money; I get what you mean about starting out betting small, then things getting out of hand and before we know it we've gambled away a fortune. We cannot afford to look back, our lives are worth more than that!

 
Posted : 12th September 2017 12:45 am
Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

Thanks changemylife, the first DD hit me like wow 1 down 59 to go. 59 more monthly DD to clear a mad gambling binge, what was I looking for a double up 50 thousand a million. The Gambling Mind and your normal mind are just miles apart because when the gambling mind has you, that road is rough, especially if you find yourself on Chase Street that is the self destruct street which by reading here many people have been on. Myself today thinking about last month, I think to myself who was that guy, was that really me depositing those crazy amounts, why did I lose it so bad. I dont ever want to meet that version of me again the version that gambling created of me, I know he will try and come for me again but as of today my beautiful daughters 15th birthday I wont let him back.

 
Posted : 12th September 2017 3:03 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Smashed

Well done on being one month gamble free.

I too think back to just over a month ago and wonder who that possessed person was who gambled so recklessly for so long (30 years !!). It just seems so crazy once the gambling mist has lifted and things become far clearer.

Try not to focus too much on your loan repayments, try and think of it that each new day you stay gamble free you will be better off financially (going in the right direction and not getting worse) and much better off in terms of peace of mind, time spent with family etc. I hope you had a great time with your daughter on her birthday.

Best wishes

46 and out

 
Posted : 12th September 2017 7:50 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Congratulations on being a month GF. I was hooked on those slot games too, I know exactly what it is like.

I'm in a similar position with debt too, I guess we can only think that we are making those small improvements each month and very slowly paying it back - rather than adding on to it.

Keep going with it!

 
Posted : 12th September 2017 8:04 pm
Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

Thanks Adam, you definately have to look forward and accept it's gone. Gambling, well CG, Addiction has spiraled out of control and will get worse and worse, but the profits are astronomical. Online is a beast, and it just grows and grows as more and more casinos pop up usually all owned by the big operators, its only when you stop, step back and look at it, you realise how bad it is and what it can do to people.

 
Posted : 14th September 2017 2:20 pm
paulds
(@paulds)
Posts: 521
 

Hi Smashed,

Well done on your gf month, as you say the money isn't coming back. But you can shape your future. I too have huge monthly payments that will be going on for years. I try not to think about it on a day to day basis as it can be overwhelming, they will come and go each month as sure as the weather will. All we can do is get through each day gamble free, each payday will take care of itself.

You are doing great, all the best, stay safe and strong.

Paulds

 
Posted : 14th September 2017 2:30 pm
Smashed
(@smashed)
Posts: 302
Topic starter
 

Thanks Paulds looks like you have a long way to go to, but it is all or nothing. Gambling is not Fun. Its an addiction and just like any other addiction if it grips your mind you are in trouble. You just have to know when youve gone to far and try and repair it before its too late.

 
Posted : 14th September 2017 5:37 pm
changemylife
(@changemylife)
Posts: 531
 

I think that you have hit it on the head with your comment: 'You just have to know when you've gone to far and try and repair it before it's too late.'

This optimises the moment with a CG reaching their defining low point. When they realise that things are now truly out of hand. And gambling really isn't just a bit of fun. That if they were to continue it might not be just the loss of money at stake, but their life!

Yes, we can analyse how we got to this point. The loss of control. The vicious mind games ending up with a wild goose chase of speculative lost cause. Chasing the money, with the stakes climbing higher and higher. The desperation and sadness. And eventually a feeling of hopelessness and defeat.

But there is another way, and you're definitely getting things sorted. It may well take a while to pay off debts, but if we can keep on track there's a brighter future ahead.

 
Posted : 16th September 2017 1:24 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hello Smashed

How r u doing, I haven't seen you post for a few days. I hope all is well?

Best wishes

46 and out

 
Posted : 18th September 2017 9:48 pm
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