This is my diary and hope all who read it are living life and not just surviving. I will keep telling myself don't gamble please. Where to start. Here goes, I have had a gambling addiction since my early teens and possibly younger. I would gamble on everything I could, I haven't gambled in a casino or online betting which is good as I don't know where I would be now. My main form of gambling was in bookmakers. I would be in my own little bubble in a bookmakers and waste so much time and Money. I am ashamed of what I have done in the past and the amount of people I have hurt through gambling. I don't want to be that person and never have i wanted to hurt anyone. I will carry on my diary. I have found it very hard to reach 5 days not gambling. Lots of bad dreams and urges to gamble but not carried out what my gambling demon is trying to get me to ruen my life a gain.
Hello John, thanks for sharing your story with us.
We are all struggling with the same problem even though they are in different ways, so you are surrounded by people who understand you. I have lost my family, my sweet property in Greece, all my friends, and all my reputation due to this addiction. However, gained a very good life lesson. If you feel alone or have any problems you can just contact me.
Congratulations John on 5 days gamble free. From what you have written it seems that gambling has had a detrimental effect on your life for many years so respect to you for deciding to put a stop to it.
Unfortunately, many of us have discovered, to our cost, that the addiction is somewhat reluctant to let us go and for that reason it is considered wise to take every precaution and put blocks in place to prevent us from gambling.
You gamble in the bookies so it would be advisable to self exclude from all bookmakers that you might be tempted to visit. This can be done quite easily with a simple phone call to MOSES (tel no in forum advice.)
Just in case you were tempted to try gambling online you can stop that by registering with Gamstop ( see forum advice.)
Some banks allow you to put a gambling freeze on your bank account.
If a trusted person can help manage your financial affairs so that you have limited access to money than that can be very helpful.
I always like having a supermarket gift card to buy groceries so that I dont have to carry money.
You could have a separate bank account for yourself with just a small amount of money it for small transactions.
Relying on willpower alone is considered a bit foolhardy by most people you will meet on the diaries.
Wishing you every success on your life changing adventure.
Hoping that you find peace, contentment and happiness.
Aum ?
"Relying on willpower alone is considered a bit foolhardy by most people you will meet on the diaries."
Ain't that the truth - the reason we are all on here is because we have an addiction and can't stop. We aren't strong enough and willpower isn't enough. Ban yourself, exclude yourself and do it now.
Thank you all for your very wise words and support. I will be honest. I am 40 years old and have been to gamblers anonymous when I was a teenager. I did try but never stuck at it. I have also been to a rehab called Gordon House this was when I was in my mid 20s. I found that this has been one of the most helpful places I've been. I was In the residential rehab for 9 months where I learned how to live again and find out all my triggers and traits. It also taught me what things I gained from being a compulsive gambler. These were not good, how to lie, steal and manipulate others and many other bad things. I finish the program and had 5 or 6 gambling free years. I was living life and enjoying it. I went through counselling when I was in the rehab to work out why and how I use gambling to escape. After 5 or 6 years I got complacent and forgot to deal with my problems on a daily basis or often. When I don't deal with life and work and kids and my wife and all the other things that can build up and i don't talk about it. I have got my wife to take care of my finances and it is successful. 6 days GF. Happy today. All the best everyone. X
Day 7 GF. I did have some bad gambling dreams last night. I hate how it trys to get me back thinking crazy gambling thoughts. Today I will not gamble. I keep telling myself it will get easier and don't become complacent. My wife looks after our money and that is great. I could do some serious damage if it wasn't for. One day at a time. Slowly slowly. All the best everyone.
Day 8 GF. Very happy. Very little thought of gambling today. Hope I can keep this up.
12 days GF. Its been very hard with lots of my mind playing tricks on me. The Devil ? keeps trying to get me back throwing away time, money and everything that I have been working for in life. I don't want to lose my wife my job my kids my family my sanity. These are all things I could lose if I start gambling again. I will try my hardest to deal with day to day problems and pressures in my life. I don't honestly need lots of money. Not bragging but money just gets in the road of life. I'm so happy my wife has all our money, because we would be broke if i had access to it.
Hope all are keeping safe and well.
13 days GF. Nearly two weeks. Feeling a bit better about things. Just need to keep being honest and deal with problems when they arise.
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