So my last post I was 10k down and I was in a very bad place.. I said I was going to stop but I didn’t and the following week I managed to win X back, I thought great il leave it at that on a win, cut my losses 7k down but it’s better than 10k..
the following week I managed to unfreeze gambling transactions on my card and opened up a new account on a casino site. Played all night on one game ended up 3.5k down then got lucky on a few spins and won X, so I was up 5.5k plus my money back that I had put in.. now this is where i am totally disgusted with my self and need answers for my behaviour. Instead of saying right your up nearly all the money you have lost recently cash out and stop. I decided to carry on until it was all gone and ended up 7k down by the end of everything.
I think about it all day and night I can’t get it out of my head.. why didn’t I stop while I was up so much?
now I’m back in debt and on my a**e once again..
Forget the original reasons you may of started gambling...... escapism, fun, emotional turmoil, to make money etc etc so many reasons for us all......
The basic reason why you gambled and continued was for a Dopamine fix.
no other reason, not to win money back or make money or escapism as simple as that.
Once you are all dopamined up, its similar to being drunk/high,
and your decision processes kinda lock up and don't work properly, you will notice if you look in mirror at this time your eyes will be shiny and kinda crazy looking.....
only the continuation of the high/pleasure is important, can't stop/irrational gameplay etc.
-retracing your footsteps/changing game duration etc, will not help with your self control/ learn anything more about yourself, your brain will trick you with many irrational reasons why you should gamble again.....to get your dopamine fix.
Ideally stop gambling, let your brain normalise, so you can think clearly again/ get help.
the brain damage of sorts only gets worse... and takes longer to recover from the further you go down the rabbit hole.
All the best @grant hope you get through this all ok, don't let it become part of your normal life style
Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it, so I was craving dopamine and not caring about the consequences. That does make sense in a way because I keep looking back thinking why didn’t I do this or do that why didn’t I just take the money.. and can’t justify it at all, but I must of been out of control of my mind I keep thinking why did I do that constantly
@grant forget about the dopamine or whatever drug is floating around you, you gambled because you weren't ready to stop and you did pretty much nothing to help yourself.
You posted on here three months ago and vanished. You came back in a worse situation.
Did you call the gamcare advisors? Did you go to a GA meeting? Did you give your money over to someone else to stop your access? Did you sign up to Gamstop? Did you reach out for any help whatsoever? Did you try using willpower alone?
It is an insidious illness that will not stop until you have lost everything. £10K down or £17K down, it's irrelevent, it's your behaviour that needs to change and you cannot do it by hope alone. You need practical steps.
If you do not reach out for help you will continue to lose whatever you have and hold dear to you. You cannot win long term, and because you cannot stop when you have a win, you cannot win. Accept it mate.
Any questions please just ask, don't disappear, hang around.
Have you had enough??????
the simple answer is you have a serious problem with compulsive gambling
nobody can tell you why you did it , thats a conversation you need to have with yourself once the adrenaline is out of your system
judging by your post , i would say the only solution is to get away from all electronic devices for 30 days minimum by that stage you may come back to your senses and you can build from there
You will find the answers Grant when you abstain and start a proper recovery.
The hope is that one day you will see things very clearly. I could tell you now about the drug addiction and how complex the split mind illness is. However you must concentrate on stopping for now because too much information will confuse your addicted mind
You must learn for yourself and that process starts when you are genuinely ready for your born again moment. Learning is best when you are keen to learn and that is better when recovery is fully underway and stable
I promise you that the person with a healed mind will not be the person you are now. I promise you that your life will be better free from gambling
You have the cold turkey to do with all the help you can get from friends and family.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
your right I didn’t take the steps to prevent my self from never doing it again.. and I reckon even if I did take the money I would of put it back in.. it’s been 2 weeks now And it still feels raw.. waking up and going to sleep thinking about it.. thank you though you have put things into perspective and I need to get help ASAP. Thanks mate
all though I have not been a gambler all my life which is why I keep telling my self it’s my fault because gambling is a bad habit I have picked up over the last few years. I do feel like chucking my phone in the river its in your face everywhere. Tv ads, football, in between ever video online it’s a killer. But thanks for your advice I appreciate it. Take care
I have been going to ga the last few weeks that has definitely helped.
i have bought a scratch card and done a football bet in that time.. but not gambled online which is the main thing. Thank you for your advice you totally make sense in everything you say and I’m going to take your advice in staying clean to see if I reach that clear mental state of mind. I’ve not been great on the weekend but no gambling so one step at a time. All the best mate thanks again
@grant Have you got the orange book from your GA meeting? If so read that, especially the bit about all gambling being off limits, including scratch cards and a football bet. If you keep feeding that addiction, however small you think it might be, it allows it to stay and wait.
When you're back in your GA room be honest about any gambling too, honesty really is the best policy when it comes to recovery.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.