Just read a diary extract from R R.
How true his words echo. How so easy to get tangled in the snares of gambling.. It draws us as does a shiny object to a bird.
I never realised how debilitating gambling could be. Remove the 'fun' factor and it leaves us battle weary, owned, lonely, anxious and both hyper and hypo.
But no we are never addicts we keep saying. Trying to convince ourselves. I'll be truthful the, feeling of thrill following a "win" still has to be replaced. And for me using a land casino it was escapism away from everyone. But in thst lay the deceit too.. Of where I had spent my time.. It was my secret world..
All nonsense thst former existence. Simple things give me pleasure now.
I'm not going back to gambling.tne stronger magnet in my head pulls me to the side of reason and logic. I'll never be cured as such but I feel easier than the early days of stopping. Less guilty and less emotional about it too. It was a learning curve. Costly one but nothings for free in life.
All for now..
I’ve not popped into say hi in a while so, hi. I hope you are well.
I’m glad you took something from my previous post. Nowadays on here its not something that is done as often as a few years ago. I need to have some more posts like that. It can be quite therapeutic.
I agree to an extent about the “thrill”. Winning at roulette in a casino was exciting but it comes with heavy baggage. Its unhealthy and it causes problems. In life, some people seek thrills every day. When I was younger I knew someone who lived for his car and racing at high speeds through country lanes. He’s dead now. He lost control and crashed into a tree. True story. It was plain dangerous but the thrill of it consumed him. Others seek thrills in danger. What I was doing was dangerous. Who knows how much I could have been capable of losing. Back then I cared for myself so little I didn’t care.
Today, things are better. Yesterday, I went to a Nike outlet store where there was an incredible sale and I bought loads because I could. That made me happy. Today, I was the best looking runner out on the trails - kitted out to the max 😄
Well today's an outside activity washout up to press..
Never mind. Keep smiling as they sat.it will be Netflix nice food. Read. And jigsaw day. Stroll later if elements allow.
Feel tired anyhow after night shifts so listening to my body today.
No gambling still. Not saying it hasn't crossed my mind in some form..but not enough to lure me back.
Friend became a granny this week so nice news is happening..
Hopeful for run n coffee with running buds Sunday..
Been to feed pigs just after quick top up shop... They love spuds.. 🐖🐖
Coffee brewing.. And on an even better note cinemas open soon..
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