Diary of boo radley

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(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

I will thank you... Enjoy Tuesday.. Hopeful to chat later ?

 
Posted : 19th November 2019 8:40 am
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Hey Boo, be kind to yourself (that’s what you would say to me)

Have a lovely day tomorrow x

 
Posted : 19th November 2019 9:46 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Thanks to all who have read and replied.

What is it about midweek that makes my mood dip be it ever so slightly??

I'm out and about as usual today and have to attend fire lecture as per we have to for work. Although last week apparently due to poor turn out it was cancelled which baffled me.. Are not one or two lives worth saving? That said I suppose fire department have their protocols. Unless of course info fed back to me was incorrect.

Planning on a takeout tonight. Simply because I don't feel like cooking but firstly going to the supermarket to shop. I feel shops are getting busier and all the Christmas aisles are saturating me. I find Christmas a reflective time. And a fickle time.. So I like to start celebrating it as late as possible in the hope to spark some magic and surprise back into it.

Budget wise on target and landmark of 30th November Christmas Market next week not forever away now.

Health wise feeling good. Head wise still a bit swirly. I did ask myself earlier would one trip to casino today really affect me.. Well I'm not going to know the answer because I'm not going ?

One chugsy bugsy little scottie still asleep in the chair but outside we will have a visit from tufty the squirrel come for his food we leave and ginge the cat from next door for his bowl of milk.. ?

I endeavour to get into chat later. I'm noticing someone new pops in every night.. Thankfully I hope as well someone else saved although sadly as we know as one member exits the gambling world a new member joins. Its poisonous trappings are powerful.

Have a gentle day everyone until some of us speak later ?

 
Posted : 20th November 2019 8:01 am
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 
Posted by: Murlo

Hey Boo, be kind to yourself (that’s what you would say to me)

Have a lovely day tomorrow x

Thank you.. Yes you are right.. Why do we never take In our own advice xxx enjoy your day even though you are saddle sore from exercise murlo ?

 
Posted : 20th November 2019 9:06 am
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

So I came here 6 weeks ago nearly nervously and naively.

Unsure what to do or say or write or feel

Well the journey has been interesting indeed

Keeping busy is an important part of recovery. And I have kept to that regime. I have allowed time for me along the way. But today realised not enough..

I feel so tired. Drained. And why???? Well for so long have been gambling and using a different energy.  Now I am back with society.. Busy everyday. re. Emerging.. But in keeping busy have burnt out my battery a bit

I suppose its a bit like a grief process. But I am not planning on staying there and live with grief. 

So from today I will plan to stay occupied. Engage with society. Friends. The living world. Busy is as it says. Busy. Hectic. Chaos.. I think everything's meeting in the middle and I feel like the storm is settling. 

I want to be involved with the world again. But I am going to have to separate busy and occupied and find that fine divining line that allows recovery and repair. Find happiness with solitude again. Not fear that being on my own will tempt me to gamble.

My dad used to say there is only one person you can trust and that is yourself because there is only you know what you are going to do.. 

That's my home work and revision from now on.. Learning to trust myself again. Learning to like being with me again. Time and patience.

Look forward to chat later. 

I feel life beginning to balance again?

 
Posted : 20th November 2019 5:09 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Hi Boo, 6 weeks on it seems to me that you are in a good place. Yesterday my counsellor said that first we replace the void left by gambling with something less destructive and over time we move to filling it with things that are constructive.  Kind of fits with your reflections. Be proud of where and who you are.

 
Posted : 20th November 2019 7:22 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Yes thanks murlo.. I'm getting there in my own muddled kind of way.. Take care ?and you build in your journey also 

 
Posted : 20th November 2019 7:28 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Woke out of the sleep of angels. Thatsaid watched an old movie last night so bed a tad late.

Certainly hope Mr. B. R. Comes home happier today.. He seemed like grumpelstinkin  yesterday but when asked why says nothing wrong. So he will have to sort it himself really. He's a consenting adult a few times over ?

Off to see a friend today. She's an outside sort of person so has a walk planned. That said she has a beautiful home in the country. But sadly it approaches 1st anniversary oh her husbands passing in a few days so will see how she wants to play it so to speak

Am sure we will stop for lunch en route.. So food and conversation are sometimes a good tonic

I don't feel so winters bluish today but still not enthused about Christmas.. Give it a week or so maybe I will start to feel the tingle and jingle

Chat was lively last night. Hope to he there tonight. Lunchtime I think I will be occupied.. 

Goal for today is to further tackle my jigsaw and do some work for work from home.. 

So until later it is take care. Safe journeys all. Talk later. 

 
Posted : 21st November 2019 8:34 am
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Enjoy your time with your friend today Boo. It is a lovely autumn walking day. 

 
Posted : 21st November 2019 8:50 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7047
 

Hi boo,

 

Thanks for dropping by yesterday (or day before?..memory is not my strongest point recently lol..all day long i thought its Friday today until told otherwise ??)

I read you have great plans for today, hope you're enjoying your day & catch up with your pal.

 

Xmas closing in indeed. Dont feel festive but sure it will come..maybe on Xmas day lol.

 

Just dropped by with thanks and best wishes to your own journey. Keep making the right choice..the rewards are amazing!

 

S&B xx

 
Posted : 21st November 2019 5:57 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Well got in having had a tender thoughtful  day 

4 mile walk with friend and dog daisy.. Almost a year since the loss of her husband but she's finding her way. So proud of her. 

Back home to her house for a bowl of homemade leek and potato soup and thick crusty wholemeal bread. Soup made by her lovely Italian dad

Traffic home chaos ?

Back home now to my diary.. I could have stayed stuck on chapter 5... Gamcare. Diary. Chat have helped me turn the page 

? Day 40 gf

 
Posted : 21st November 2019 6:18 pm
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Be proud of yourself too, 40 days gf and being there for your friend at a difficult time for her. Keep those pages turning..

 
Posted : 21st November 2019 7:06 pm
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Goodmorning to damp and drizzle day 41 friday

Feel a big line tin man today but then done a lot of walking. Running this week. Few stretches should sort. And a nice brew. 

Busy today. On target with stuff and budget

In my head is feeling OK.. Negotiating whether or not to buy sparkly or santa t. Shirt for fun Run Sunday ? quite a few if us heading off on Sunday for 10k so should be a good morning

Me. B. R. Will be a tad wet after going work today but might suggest we go for quickHalf down local before a night of TV film. ?Weekend puts a spring in his stepwith footie.

I don't feel like I'm doing too bad. My head is settled today and am focused.

Hope to be in chat later.. Someone new keeps popping in which increases hopefully our "family" on here. It is certainly is a place of peace and haven Coming here. Putti g words in each day somehow let's go of the misery of the past. Recovery nowhere nearcure but feels like a million miles away from where I was 6 weeks back. 

 
Posted : 22nd November 2019 7:49 am
Murlo
(@murlo)
Posts: 1355
 

Morning boo, I hope you are enjoying your brew. Day 41 is fabulous. I will never catch you up but I am right behind you! Just wondering how 10k run can be “fun”...hope to chat later x

 
Posted : 22nd November 2019 8:11 am
(@boo-radley)
Posts: 1492
Topic starter
 

Well another day dusted off.. 

Short slow 3 mile run. Post coffee stop too. 

Found time for foot massage today.. My poor little toes were aching. 

I'm feeling OK and plan to get stuck into this jigsaw. I do have some work for work to do but that's a tomorrow task. 

I'm still reading run for your life and it's a good read. Hope to finish it after weekend. 

My week off has flown. Its been busy and lively. The weather thankfully has allowed me to get about. 

I endeavour to call into chat later. I enjoyed the dinnertime chit chat. 

I'm 6 weeks tomorrow gf. Still early days I know. The hard part several weeks ago would have been my week off spending time and cash at the casino. This week I haven't had a minute of time to go even if matters were different. I don't want to go back to day one. I am as determined as ever at the moment of writing never to set foot in that place again.

I do believe it's tea time.. One little Scottie dog Gracie snug as a bug on the chair.. Life is sweet.. Mr. B. R. Head stuck in newspaper and multi tasking listening to sport on radio. Happy little household.. ????

 
Posted : 22nd November 2019 6:00 pm
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