Diary of boo radley

Morning lovely Boo,

It makes me very happy to read that you have a day for just you, make the most of it my little gem ?

You take it as easy as your situations allow also.. Love to the murlo abode xx

Boo 

???

Night time.. 

Another day done.. 

Chat tonight was raw tonight..hope people feel easier. My experience with gambling never took me online so  I can't say I have the experiences most have on here. The struggle we have saddens me.. But I am hopeful for us all.. Experiencing the 3 to 4 times a week at the casino was enough for me to realise the long road of no hope.. So to me those of you who did online and had access all those hours but are now recovering makes me think you are wonderful.. 

I'm going watch tele now.. 

I have got the jig out.. Sorting the side bits.. 

Night n bless 

Boo 

???

Hi boo how’s the jigsaw coming along ? Just thought I’d pop along to say hello , hope u get a good nights sleep ?

Hello vinnie.. I usually sit by the sofa and do my jig and scottie boo decided she wanted to use it for a bed and I got pushed up to the right far corner in it so nowt much got done. 

How are you and thanks xx

Boo ??

Morning.. Weather not tantalising but. Its winter. 

Builder here sorting I hope minor problem with shower. 

So here goes.. My tale for today... 

So yesterday an infrequent friend contacted me 'o long time no see, we need a casino night' as sometimes a few of us did with a meal... Time stood still. Stopped breathing for a few minute. Felt paralysed.. As you know only you on here and my immediates know my journey etc. Anyway felt ropey all night and then chat was raw.. It just pounded in my head this message. Tell me was I making a mountain out of a molehill ?

So.. This morning I addressed it.. I had to.. I replied. In no uncertain terms that a meal and drink definetly, my casino days are done for all sorts of reasons, and my finances are well and truly spoken for in so many more positive ways. Casino not an option. 

Reply back... OK. I will see what I can sort.... 

Feeling easier to say the least.. Sorry to bore you all with this monologue.. Yes.. Easier to say the exact truth but I'm just not ready for that one yet. I feel I want to hold on to what I call my personal dignity and space and don't want a 1001 questions and judgements passed on me.. 

There all said and done.. 

Bye for now boo 

???. Thanks for reading.. I really don't mind your honest answers 

Oh Boo,

that sounds really tough. Not surprised you felt unsettled. I am glad that you found the right words this morning to tell your friend. It shows how far you have come in your recovery to be able to sit back, reflect and deal with these triggers. 

I hope you have an easier day my little gem. I hope your leak gets fixed xx

Thanks russ.. Firstly it's got to happen.. Secondly.. I will have just enough money in purse for meal. Drink. Taxi fayre. 

I do have another friend who I go to the cinema with. She goes to casino with hubby. He does cards and she ends up playing on slots. She knows I don't go now. I have furnished her with just enough info to quench her curiosity.. But she did say some weeks back last time she went she ended up losing said amount.which is like having a night out. To which I said but a night out is value for money not throwing your money away.. Nowt more was said. She has to make her mind up russ

To be honest.. No is a word I am finding easier and easier to say when it comes to gambling now. 

Thanks for your support and concern.. 

Till later.. If the night out happens the triangle willbe broken russ..   

Boo ???

No gets easier to say murlo... Thank you.. ?I don't to gamble end of... 

I don't want up gamble russ.. End of.. Yes they are friends. But I have got better and more diverse ones too.. 

I'm a lucky lady really 

Boo ?

Afternoon.. 

Had a reflective but productive morning. 

Been to circuit. Coffee. Chat with girls.

Back home now. Showered. Snug. Brew time.

So to put into words how I feel.. Think in ink 

Yes I had a trigger last evening as per morning diary. I've dealt with it. They leave me feeling fatigued, fighting feelings, a small trigger, insignificant some may say. But what I am trying to address here is the fact that they hit us harder than we think. The unexpected timing.. Oooof... 

Vinnie kindly asked me about my jigsaw.. I couldn't start it last night because of my dog hogging sofa space. That said I regard my activities since stopping gambling as something as peaceful, supportive and helpful. My escape  and switch off.. I think it would have rattled me last night and I don't want to get those feelings.. I'm ready now to take it on.. Even got a cottage pie on the go.. So my thoughts are unravelling.

I just want to recover and heal.. To let all on here know about these bad days that feel like they go on for a week that with the support of all on here and self determination things do begin to get easier again.

I embraced chat today.. I've been and organised my money for the week. This demon  gambling is  losing  its power and control over me and becoming  less than a flickering flame.. 

Today I have not gambled. I have participated in life.. And its been good..

I always try and teach for one positive each day. 

Well here is today's.. My P. T. At circuit had me doing some extra lifts on one exercise and also my lunges are nowhere near perfect but improving.. ?️?

All for now 

Boo 

 ???

Posted by: SB28

Hello boo....just a drop by really... you're doing great!

In case the message was not passed on...

Take it easy, you're doing great!

Xx

Lil B wanted to send woofs to scottie boo also...and says " loosing teeth is not all that bad...mummy will at least feed you soft and yummy stuff  because she will take care of you no matter what".

 

Hugs to you both from both of us ((((boo & Scotty boo)))))

 

S&B xx

 

Oh sb and Bella.. Ypu bring sunshine to a rainy day.. 

Many many kisses to you both and lots of woofs and waggy tails ???

Goodmorning... Frosty indeed and ti's off to work I go.. 

Have an easy day all.. 

Boo 

???

Gooorning.. 29th February.. 

Traditionally ladies can propose.. So. I've asked Sean bean on fb.. I can dream.. ❤️

Watch out rescue russ today one of us might just throw a curve ball at you in chat today on that one (hope you don't mind my teasing) but laughter I do believe is a part of recovery also

So busy little day. 

Cinema later and will let you know other stuff later to 

Got some time off work.. Nice.. Feel I need a break from it at the moment. So much to do house stuff it's beginning to agitate me.. 

Not gambling today.. And... Dah Dah Dah.. Reached another milestone today.. Cheeky baby ham later on that one. 

Anyway 

Hope you find easiness in so e part of today.. Do join us here on chat if you can.. 

Take care on this blowy day 

Boo ???